Dom Violence Do you ever get past abuse?

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I don't think you really get over domestic violence/abuse; those type of traumatic imprints on one's brain are permanent.

^^Agreed. I think about it most days but now I dismiss it and turn my focus on what I have today not what I lost. Sounds cheesey but I find it's the only way forward.

If I was allowed to though - I'd happily do something horrible & permanent to him.. lol


I sort of agree a comment made eve Harrington.

Also one of the main thing of having harmonious marriage is actually getting to know each other by talking.

Your husband does not know this part so you are not giving him an opportunity for him to really know you.

I feel if you are triggered at home this much it will ultimately feel normal and unsafe... Rinse repeat and you will say down the road the situation became unbearable. And the husband is like what are you talking about? Because u never give him a chance to learn about you And to grow as a person so he knows some of his unconcoius anger is hurting those who love him.

This is my other worry in discussing it with him. I worry that it will hurt his feelings and I really don't want to do that. How do you deal with it?

Talk to your therapist about the deeper fundamental fear of if you express negative you are not heard or loved. And talk to your husband about how you make each other feel safe consciously when you are both happy and feeling connecting.

If you are unable to approach about talking negative things in marriage... Are u sure you are not unconcously repeating same pattern in choosing men who keep you on your toes until you explode and divorce?

Are you sure?
Trauma can have less of an effect on your life, if you put in the work. It will probably never go away completely, but it’s possible to get to the point where it doesn’t control you. Your brain is only trying to keep you safe, and you need to learn how to tell it that you are safe now. Therapy is pretty much a must in my opinion. EMDR is an excellent treatment for this kind of trauma.
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