Do you ever wonder?

[anonymous]

Does anybody ever ponder the point of therapy and why on earth they put themselves through the torture? Does it ever seem like it would have been best if things had remained compartmentalized and left in that locked box in the unreachable places in your brain? Do you ever wonder why you decided to push and explore? People say it gets worse before it gets better, but are you ever curious about that timeline? Does it ever really get better?

 

[anthony]

Does it ever really get better?

Yes, it gets better. Statistics don't lie about PTSD recovery. There are too many stats all saying close to the same thing. Therapy recovery rates are around 80% in the first year, and for the 20% that suffer worse, therapy rates still improve the quality of life over future years for the majority of that 20%. Whether in therapy or doing it alone as self-help, both have positive outcomes.

 

[Friday]

Does it ever seem like it would have been best if things had remained compartmentalized and left in that locked box in the unreachable places in your brain?

Sure. Except that things didn't stay compartmentalized. Neither the first time, nor the second time that I did it. So it pretty naturally followed that I wasn't immune to the truism that compartments work... Until they don't. Since mine quit working twice? Not looking to just have that repeat time and again in my life. Time to do something differently.

People say it gets worse before it gets better, but are you ever curious about that timeline? Does it ever really get better?

I've gotten better, before. It was a spring-loaded "better", since I didn't actually sort out most of my traumas, just went after symptoms. The traumas I sorted? Didn't explode outward like all my unsorted shit. They weren't locked away, just waiting. The ones I locked away? New trauma was like stepping on a switch. Boom. Not just the new stuff, but all the old stuff. I'm not doing that again, if I can help it. Life is too short to be reliving the past, and too long to hurt this badly.

 

[watundah]

It surprised me what was uncovered, what I had forgotten and how it has impacted me. It was a long road of bumps and stupid decisions that could have been circumvented if I'd stuck with therapy the first time I tried it. Ive been chugging along for a really long time but things are getting lighter and I am seeing some changes in myself that I really like. I hope you will keep with it. It is a lot of work, it can be excruciatingly difficult to face the past but it is not endless. You reach the end of regurgitation and start healing.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I've experienced things getting better. But that doesn't mean they stay better all the time. Things definitely have gotten worse before getting better for me in all areas of life, be it mental, spiritual, or physical.

I wondered like a mofo, for a long damn time, especially after the multiple experiences in the insurance approved arenas that caused me more harm than good. And then even more so after also working as a professional in that same arena for over 13 years and seeing how unethically many choose to operate behind the curtains.

I was pretty convinced they were all full of shit and wanted nothing more to do with them, until continued to greatly suffer. I luckily found another resource outside of those arenas via a local sexual and domestic abuse shelter who offers free counseling to survivors. It's the most meaningful talk therapy support I've ever been a part of, personally or professionally. They also offer a weekly support group that I enjoy partaking in.

I was pretty sure I'd already unearthed and dealt with all that baggage from my past and would only need to focus on what lies ahead. But little did I know, apparently some of my baggage got lost in transport and continues to arrive randomly when I least expect it. Some days I simply can't afford to pay the extra baggage fees and have to let it stay where it is until I can get back to it.

That's where the alternative/complementary practices of healing come into play for me, many being self taught right after the seed was planted and I felt how strongly it resonated with me. Consciously remembering the key word practice tends to be my biggest hurdle at times.