Do You Feel Lonely / Desire To Be Alone?

[Moonshadow]

I wish I had more alone time. As it is, there is always someone who needs something from me. Home schooling 3 kids leaves little time for myself. When I do try to sneak away, to just be alone in my thoughts, I always feel guilty, like I'm wasting time. Of course, it doesn't take long before someone beckons me for something, and break time is over.

I sometimes think that I could really get my act together, if I could just have a week to myself. Time to process my thoughts and feelings. Time to unwind, and not worry about the needs of anyone else. Time to sleep. Oh, glorious sleep.

 

[captrn1]

I too understand, as the others have stated, that one needs to have company, as long as it's good company that's just fine, the emotional vampires can take a hike. Daily drama can suck the life out of even the most emotionally healthy soul, as people with PTSD we cannot afford, even for one moment, to allow this to happen to us. That brings in the discernment factor. To learn to quickly size up the wheedlers, the users, the abusers, the bullies, the emotional vampires, the whiners, the continuously needy, the back stabbing two faced good buddies, the fair weather friends and the down right selfish. Like a virtual broom, sweep them right out of your life. Set your boundaries, be discreet about who you allow into your life and into your time.

Map9 I am with you all the way here. I would much rather be alone with my dogs than with the bloodsucking leaches we allow to enter our lives.....cut them loose and set yourself free.........none of us need the extra burden of these "vultures and thieves" at our backs. Eventually we learn to like ourselves best!

Capt.

 

[Riggs413]

Like most, I prefer to be alone a great deal of time. Still trying to make my relationship work and she is very understanding when I need to "disappear". I am lucky in the fact that I have a cottage that I can make my escape to for a few days when needed. Just me and the wildlife.

Reading the post here made me realize that I too leave the tv or radio on most of the time when I am alone. I never thought about it before now. Thanks Pandora, learning something new here every day because of your and others posts.

 

[pandora]

You are very welcome....welcome to the forum.

 

[FightingLily]

i love my own space. I once said, that I don't like to feel alone but it only pertained to being the only adult PTSD sufferer I know of. I have always loved quiet. I am able to focus and rationalize better when not in the midst of chaos, drama, and distracting noises. Although I have 3 children and a partner, bedtime is at 8:30 pm so I am able to afford the solitude to read a book, write in my journal, etc.

 

[Anonymoose]

I love being alone. I appreciate the company of other people, but I don't need to seek people out because I'm comfortable being by myself.

 

[catjudo]

There are times when I am surrounded by people yet feel my loneliest. When I'm feeling my worst I just want to be alone. I don't want anyone around me. I'm a mother to a 3-year-old and this just isn't possible. At least it shouldn't be. Unfortunately, I'm not always the best mother (or at least not the mother I would like to be) and I will isolate myself in bed and try to shut out the world only coming out to tend to my daughter's immediate needs and then returning to the solitude of my bed. I know it's not healthy. I know I need to find a way to change this behavior but so often the world around me is just too overwhelming. Isolating myself is currently my best coping technique when things get to be too much. I want to change that. I'm trying to change that. Just a much slower, overwhelming and scarier process than I'd like.

 

[sunnyaria]

I feel much better knowing that I am not the only one who isolates. I have friends, but sometimes I don't have it in me to interact. I did not realize that this is a symptom of PTSD. I will discuss this in councelling. I have been told that I have PTSD. I guess I need to learn more.

 

[Robin]

I love being alone, but I don't think it is always that good for me. Can get myself into quite a negative spiral. Think that is why I chose the job I do, with 3000+ clients coming daily into the facility I manage. A place for people to de-stress and unwind, and it's my job to create that space. I can fake happiness and positivity in a heartbeat! But then when I get home I am drained and weekends I do not even leave the house if I can help it.

 

[Anonymoose]

The more trauma that I've experienced, the more that I desire time alone. I prefer to be alone most of the time now. I like being out among people, but prefer being alone among them.

 

[cragger65]

I see myself in this also Cherry. I feel like my interactions with other people, even family and friends, is mostly forced. I see how other people don't feel this way, I see how they can just be themselves, particularly in familiar company, but if it were me, I'd feel like I have to be "up" and "on"... maybe because I'm afraid they might ask me "What's wrong", and that would make me feel so bleeding awkward, I know from experience.

I spend 90% or more of my time alone, and most of my human interaction now is either email or phone. Kinda scary, I know I'm not happy, but to live "out there"... even scarier. As long as you yourself are comfortable, I think that's the acid test of whether it's right for you.

I feel like I have to smile, when I don't feel like smiling, and laugh when I don't feel like laughing etc. Maybe that is because I don't feel totally comfortable being me (warts and all) with anyone other than myself.

 

[heather q]

I feel whole when I'm alone and I don't feel lonely when I'm by myself, I'm proud to say that now I'm able to ride the bus, it was a huge step to be around so much noise and so many people and it's been an interesting project adjusting to so many triggers at the same time. I have even been able to have conversations at times, it helps knowing that I shall be free to isolate when I get off the bus and that I can drive if I need to, sometimes before I get on the bus it's about all I can do to take that step because I want to go back home and get the car. It is helping me adjust to being around people, I don't have to be sociable but when I can do it it's a good exercise and there are times when I enjoy talking, that is something new for me.

When I get home to my own space I start feeling like myself again, so far it's only the weekends but that is better than not at all, I think when I'm around other people I lose myself and it takes a long time to feel right. I did want to make the effort to go out this weekend but I never made it out of the door, this is another bad habit I'm going to have to change, it wasn't long ago I could't be home. It seems always one thing or another, I trade one situation for another.

This has been a good thread it helps me feel more comfortable with the way I am, thanks.
Heather