Do you have trouble saying, "no."?

[digger]

@JadesJewel, I suspect there is a missing comma in the statement. I read it as "I totally get you, people used to use me and hurt me because I had trouble saying no" as in, "I understand, I had the same problem too". Was that what you intended by your statement @Helper?

 

[Deleted member 37085]

Good eye @digger yes the comma.

 

[Helper]

@JadesJewel, I suspect there is a missing comma in the statement. I read it as "I tot...

Sorry

 

[Deleted member 37085]

Geez @Helper that's okay and I at times have trouble myself saying what I mean, and I am very grateful for your post, yes I am for I have been bullied and shamed most all of my life until recently. You keep posting and I'll keep reading and caring about you @Helper, for I'd never want to purposely and viciously ever hurt you ever. Jade

 

[Helper]

Geez @Helper that's okay and I at times have trouble myself saying what I mean, a...

Thanks

 

[Deleted member 37085]

Hey thanks for mustering up the courage and risking and posting here for your post is a good solid post and thank you for it! Jade

 

[Changing4Best]

It gets easier and easier to say "no" but the kerfuffle about what to do after that is another mat...

Yes, when they push back, it can get downright nasty! On the other hand, I have been in a position sometimes where I have been the asker who got a "No." to my request. For instance, I don't own a vehicle. This causes me to either use Transit, which only runs on weekdays, or to call folks for rides. Folks can't always give me rides. So I have a list of folks who I call for rides. But! Right now my phone DIED. I mean, like, DOES NOT WORK AT ALL. A new phone is waiting for me at the Post Office, but then I will have to learn how to USE IT. I am not that tech savvy, so that may take some time. I hope it comes with a hard copy manual, not just one online. Because if it comes with one that I can take with me, at least I can refer to it on the run, if I have to!

 

[The Albatross]

Learning how not to have stress or anxiety by anticipating push back is an art form, ninja skill that we all would do well to acquire.

 

[asadafagahajakal]

I took a self-defense class once and failed miserably at it. You see, I am dyslexic and I kept gett...

If you're having trouble saying no, work on your "drill sergeant" voice. I can do metal vocals. Needless to say if an angry dog approaches me, they run off with their tail between their legs. Be firm and don't be afraid of terrifying them. Just be a big mouth when you're in a sticky situation. And since you're dyslexic, try making symetrical blocks and alternate left and right with punches and kicks. You can do that alone at a gym with a punching bag.

Stay safe. If all else fails, work on communication skills and evasive manoeuvres to get out of a fight. Those should be your first option. Communication skills have saved my life a couple times.

 

[Grabballe]

Sometimes it's hard to say no in under pressure or threats. :(

 

[420kitty]

I did before ptsd. I was raised "old school" for my age. Where women would cater to the man, and children should be seen and not heard. Then after ptsd a rage built in me towards men. Now I have no issues with saying 'no' or hurting people's feelings if I don't oblige. With men I find that I have to be an asshole to get my point across. Then I get labeled a 'bitch' which I have grown fond of that term. To me it means that I don't get pushed around.

 

[alis]

Yes.

I have had periods of being better at assertiveness but it is a real struggle and something that takes practice I think.