Unless you’re the bloke she’s dating, that is some MASSIVE Mindreading.A child is dependent on their parents for love. A child will reach out to their parents for love. Normal parents will reach back to their child with love. Abusive parents do so too but only when it is convenient to them and serves their purpose, not always that of the child. The child learns that love is conditional and not normal. Love is rare. Love is short lived. Love is something that will only disappoint them. True love doesn't exist. Love is an absolute mine field.
You are expressing Love, the real kind of love. to him. But his mind doesn't believe true love actually exists, so he makes mental defenses to protect him from love hurting him. Seeing you in a control place for sex is one way of protecting himself. Not being around for emotional holidays is another.
When you rightful expressed that it seems he only is using you for sex, you expressed your frustration over the whole relationship. From his perspective, you saying the truth only further convened to him that Love is an exemption and not the Norm. It's not you. It's him.
I’m a combat vet. Zero childhood trauma, much less abusive parents, even less abusive parents who skewed my love-map in that exact way (as opposed the dozens of other ways kids with abusive parents diverge from each other in love/ relationships/ core beliefs/ etc.).
Cheating is a common dealbreaker… but ANYTHING can be a dealbreaker for one person, no big deal to another, and desired above all else by a third.I get that he’s hurt and he has a right to feel that way but he’s acting in a way that someone would act when they find out their partner cheated.
For example? What you initially did wouldn’t ave been a dealbreaker for me, but what you did to attempt to make up for it? Absolutely is. X1000 if I’m travelling. For HIM, though? No idea if he’d love it as much as I’d hate it.