Relationship Do PTSD sufferers have trouble with forgiveness?

Mod Note:

This is totally worth a new thread. (Just use the title in the supporters section to direct it towards sufferers). As a mod I cannot edit threads to do it for you, I can only move entire posts. But I CAN tell you that you won’t be dinged for duplicating content for starting a new thread on this topic.

Friday
Thanks for the info. Will start a new thread now :)
 
I see it differently. This seems a bit one sided. You are allowed to say something a bit off when you're upset. We all do it. It's human. For him to hang everything onto that one comment? Rather than see what made you say that comment? When he was already saying he can't see you and he's spending the holidays away from you...
To me, this reads as a guy who isn't looking for someone serious.
Good point @Movingforward10 - we are allowed to SAY something when we are upset. With respect and within reason. In my experience I have embraced and accepted ALL the space and time needed by my loved one- space needed to go to the coast, space for special days, birthdays, space needed for after each therapy ,EMDR and hypnosis (fatigue sets in)
So lets do some maths -if we have a 100% of time in a basket which was given to us ,10% to 15% was given by me as a supporter to my loved one each time they needed space and time- I am rubbish at maths but this is an easy sum to figure. Left us (or me )with only having my loved one for 20%of that time.
I started to wonder if any consideration was given to me( which is reasonable)making you feel second best.

I.M.E, when he has gone M.I.A I look outside of myself and put him first ,thinking and feeling "hey this(space) is good for him eventually good for US.

However, when there is an increased need for space(for the loved one) and sudden "stops and pauses" are continually demanded (without a discussion or a chance to communicate)from the relationship it eventually becomes(for the supporter) like turning the life support switch ON and OFF.

The switch is in the hands of the sufferer. The gasping and lack of oxygen is felt by the supporter.

Then comes the tousle of NOT wanting to offend the loved one, of respecting their need, being patient ,awaiting, and waiting ,of honouring the PTSD, the depression that they have, of being considerate, being there - for them.

And then you find your self wondering is the 'need for his space' truly genuine or just an excuse, which then sets the ball in motion to other concerns, worries, anxieties and worst of all doubts- does he love me?

At the end of the day- supporters are human too. Look after yourself.
 
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