Ecdysis
Diamond Member
I guess this zombie feeling is a combinationn of depersonalization and derealization?
After childhood trauma, I had way too many feelings... The dominant feeling was fear, in all its forms - anxiety, panic attacks, dread, etc. The other main feelings were anger and shame. Lots of feelings, swirling around a lot.
After trauma I experienced as an adult, it's the opposite. It feels like all the feelings are gone. I walk around like a zombie. I feel like I have no personality anymore, no identity, no wishes, aims, wants, needs, feelings, etc.
It reminds me of zombies in movies... Just this empty shell, empty eyes, no soul, just walking around aimlessly, halfway between life and death.
I assume that one reason zombies exist as a concept/ idea in our cultural folklore is because people have historically observed other people looking/ acting like zombies - depersonalised and derealised after trauma and/ or due to other mental health issues.
So I'd say that "zombie" is cultural shorthand for seeing people behave that way.
I remember as a young child observing adults who seemed kind of like zombies to me. They'd go to a job every day, that they hated, they'd be constantly depressed and feeling no joy, always irritable and stressed. I remember, as a child thinking how creepy they were and wondering how you could become that lifeless and swearing that I never wanted to be like that, ever. Now, as an adult, who's had trauma that zombifies you, unfortunately I can relate. Sigh.
Anyone else observed the zombie-through-trauma thing in themselves or in others?
There's a concept in military trauma called the thousand yard stare which sort of ties into this, I think.
en.wikipedia.org
After childhood trauma, I had way too many feelings... The dominant feeling was fear, in all its forms - anxiety, panic attacks, dread, etc. The other main feelings were anger and shame. Lots of feelings, swirling around a lot.
After trauma I experienced as an adult, it's the opposite. It feels like all the feelings are gone. I walk around like a zombie. I feel like I have no personality anymore, no identity, no wishes, aims, wants, needs, feelings, etc.
It reminds me of zombies in movies... Just this empty shell, empty eyes, no soul, just walking around aimlessly, halfway between life and death.
I assume that one reason zombies exist as a concept/ idea in our cultural folklore is because people have historically observed other people looking/ acting like zombies - depersonalised and derealised after trauma and/ or due to other mental health issues.
So I'd say that "zombie" is cultural shorthand for seeing people behave that way.
I remember as a young child observing adults who seemed kind of like zombies to me. They'd go to a job every day, that they hated, they'd be constantly depressed and feeling no joy, always irritable and stressed. I remember, as a child thinking how creepy they were and wondering how you could become that lifeless and swearing that I never wanted to be like that, ever. Now, as an adult, who's had trauma that zombifies you, unfortunately I can relate. Sigh.
Anyone else observed the zombie-through-trauma thing in themselves or in others?
There's a concept in military trauma called the thousand yard stare which sort of ties into this, I think.
