Do you tell those close to you when you're struggling?

[Tinyflame]

Hi @Zoogal , as @scout86 said my answer wouldn't likely be yours. For me, no I never will again- ever. I don't care if my toes are over the ledge.

But for you, perhaps it doesn't need to be black or white as regards work, if you can do without the money. Missing you for one day is better than breaking down and going out on a leave you didn't choose for a long period, if you are struggling that bad. (Personally at work I hide it: a woman approached me a day ago and said, "You always look like you're having so much fun! Do you love your job?" So given no alternative, faking it can be mastered. If it couldn't, there wouldn't be a movie or tv show to watch. ? . Of course, it will work until it won't, and then it's Game Over. )

My T thinks that when you risk opening yourself up, it brings you closer to the one you open yourself up to. Plus, she thinks that anger and conflict always come from feeling hurt and abandoned, so when I've felt that way, I've shared with my boyfriend. I kept it pretty simple. I just described some of his actions and said how it left me feeling, and he kind of filled in the blanks and saw that I needed some sort of reassurance, which he gave me. I

^^ This is great advice- if the person cares. If not, ignoring or forgetting at best, or abuse in response at worst, will add to feelings of not being worth help.

Having said that, if he had been critical and used my feelings of vulnerability against me in some way, it might have made things worse for me. I guess that's the risk of opening yourself up. I was reading an article that talked about how stuff in your life can add or subtract to your sense of well being.

^^ A bad or lack of response subtracts too. As does fearing it being used against you, or becoming the Town Crazy Person. Because, let's face it, if a person doesn't care when you tell them such things in vulnerability, they'll never think to take care of protecting the vulnerability of your privacy either.

And at best, all you're left with is shame.

 

[hithere]

Hi @Zoogal , as @scout86 said my answer wouldn't likely be yours. For me, no I never will again- ever. I don't care if my toes are over the ledge.

But for you, perhaps it doesn't need to be black or white as regards work, if you can do without the money. Missing you for one day is better than breaking down and going out on a leave you didn't choose for a long period, if you are struggling that bad. (Personally at work I hide it: a woman approached me a day ago and said, "You always look like you're having so much fun! Do you love your job?" So given no alternative, faking it can be mastered. If it couldn't, there wouldn't be a movie or tv show to watch. ? . Of course, it will work until it won't, and then it's Game Over. )


^^ This is great advice- if the person cares. If not, ignoring or forgetting at best, or abuse in response at worst, will add to feelings of not being worth help.

^^ A bad or lack of response subtracts too. As does fearing it being used against you, or becoming the Town Crazy Person. Because, let's face it, if a person doesn't care when you tell them such things in vulnerability, they'll never think to take care of protecting the vulnerability of your privacy either.

And at best, all you're left with is shame.

THis is all really good--truthful things I've learned the H A R D way!

 

[Tinyflame]

I heard a woman researcher say, if you don't respond it's as good as slapping someone in the face, that you might as well for how it leaves any person feeling. Which surprised me though- all people. Not just the desperate, or those in need, or those struggling or at the end of their rope.

So though I don't have anything useful to say, I'll say I'm sorry you understand @hithere. :hug: