Lord if only I knew.I can relate to that! Actually, I relate to it enough that I'm afraid I don't have any suggestions.
Yeah..... if anything you say can and will be used against you, not much incentive to say anything, for sure. (I can relate to that too, and, as a result, haven't bothered to figure out anything constructive about talking about stuff.)
Any idea what could change (even if it involved magic) to change things for you?