Do You Wake Up Angry?

[pandora]

I don't know if this is common to anyone else and I am trying hard to rectify this but it is almost uncontrollable. When i wake up...I FEEL angry and then I tend to flip out over the smallest thing. I then about 5 minutes later will be apologizing like crazy to my son for yelling as I have taught him that yelling is inappropriate and here I am doing it. At least now...he really just brushes off things...I don't say nasty things but I raise my voice. Then I usually end up crying....I don't want this to affect him, i think that my openness and ability to explain things really helps...I just don't want to damage my son in any way. I have not been nightmaring and a lot of my traumas, I have worked hard on. I just can't seem to shake this nor do I know how to fix it.


Does anyone else have this problem and what do you do?

I think it may also be do to the fact that I never get three to four hours of sleep straight without waking up, getting up etc so I am never getting a rested sleep. Insomnia has always been a terrible aspect to PTSD that I can't overcome. At one time I was afraid to sleep as I did not want to nightmare, now I feel afraid of what tomorrow is going to bring and then I don't want to sleep because tomorrow will come sooner...crazy thoughts...UUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!

 

[Deleted member 541]

I used to be a bear pretty much 24/7 , but mornings were the worst for me. I used to tell people yrs ago, DON'T talk to me before I have had 1/2 pot of coffee, and a pack of cigarettes.

hmmmmmm, I don't smoke anymore, and I gave up coffee. My mood had improved greatly....:rolleyes:

I think as time goes on, you go through more therapy, get a better handle on your PTSD, that your mood will improve.

 

[FlameTachiku]

Pandora,

This has happened to me, also. It is shocking to my system as I have been someone who wakes up happy most of my life. I have learned this changes when PTSD is most severe combined with the symptoms of back pain, headaches, and lack of sleep. Fortunately this has not occured many times while I have been a mother. A quote from my son "you were scarey". That says a lot because I am very committed to being a good mom. I try to not make my pain his pain but those morning moments before the mind kicks in--oh no.

I had to explain in childs terms that I was not well but that I would get better. That it is in his interest not to wake me unless it is important. It would not always be that way but for the time that is the very best I could do. He had to be a participant in surviveing or a victim without understanding. It is not a good position to be in for anyone. But for those moments when the mind does not rule then we do what we can to prepare those we love. I SO WISH that was NOT MY REALITY.

Today I am in a period that I wake up cheerful, have fun, love work and family. PTSD is not ruleing my life. But I know it is not gone it will come again. I try to make plans for support and problem solve behaviors that will erupt again, during good periods. PTSD sucks. But we and our children can still have good lives. I have to tell myself this a lot when I am not suffering.
Program-life is good, life is worth while, it is ok, it is worth doing, happiness at times make it worthwhile---do you ever feel that way?

Best to you,

Flame

 

[SweetpinNH]

I do have mornings when I wake up angry. Usually it's because I've had dreams where I have been angry at someone in the dream. I've learned to stay quiet on those mornings until the anger passes.

 

[becvan]

Um Pand, did you forget you started a thread about the exact same thing just two months ago?

[DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread8155.html[/DLMURL]

You have your own answer right there!:rofl:

bec

 

[pandora]

Yep..totally forgot....

 

[becvan]

:wink: I kinda figured.. us and our memory issues you know! :crazy:

bec

 

[pandora]

As a good friend used to say to me..."Of all of the things that I have lost, I miss my mind the most!".......I was more optomistic my last thread about the same subject...Oh the joys of PTSD. The constant mood swings are enough to make me feel like I am actually losing it or have already lost it...ha ha.

 

[2quilt]

Thanks Bec

Whew! I thought I recognised that subject line, and I thought I was having a "senior moment" and I am not even a senior.

2quilt (checking the mirror or grey hairs)

 

[rmf3175]

Ya, I pretty much always wake up fighting in the middle of a nightmare. Very angry, and agressive. The safest thing to do to wake me up is stand at a distance with a long branch and poke me with it.:poke::thumbs-up

Here is one of my favorite quotes:

The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all it's contents. Someday the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation, or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.

H.P. Lovecraft

 

[Mel911]

Hi! Your not alone. I also wake up angry and it is usually after a night of 45 minutes sleep to only a couple hours of off and on sleep. I realize, now, that my anger comes not from the lack of sleep but the lack of quality sleep. Most of all the time I spend sleeping, I have nighmares, this causes me to be angry and short tempered when I get up in the morning. The first little thing sets me off. My friends use to joke and say "don't talk to her before her first cup of coffee" but now we know it's really from the PTSD and not the lack of coffee in the morning. I've really had to make a conscious effort to try to control my temper in the morning. I've found that I can handle mornings much better if I have a set routine and I follow it. I don't know if the routine would work for you but it has for me. My treatment has also made huge impovements in helping me with my mornings and I stopped drinking coffee.

I know it's hard and sometimes the anger just wells up really quickly over something really small but you can get through it. Just explain to the people around you and when you start feeling it well up inside, try letting them know what you are feeling before you loose it. I know it's hard, I'm doing my best to get through it too.

Hang in there, the road is ugly but it does get better.

 

[sirsir]

After some thought I do wake up angry. However I just keep quiet and stomp around as if I need My first cup of coffee(but I don't drink coffee). If I am touched while sleeping I wake up swinging. Thankfully I have never hit the wife , but she is very careful how she wakes me. We are short(I'm 5' 8" and she is 5' 6") and I have a king size bed.