Doctor Wants Me To Try Wellbutrin

[ronin47]

So, I just had my monthly meeting with my psychiatrist who manages my medication. I mentioned to him that I've been frustrated by the way PTSD affects my memory and concentration. He told me he wants me to be doing "really well" and suggested I start on Wellbutrin. I've been working with him for almost two years and trust his opinion, however I feel somewhat uncomfortable about the idea of starting on another medication. I'm already on Zoloft and my thyroid medicine which is obnoxious to manage sometimes because you need to take both in the morning but I need to take one on an empty stomach and the other with a meal otherwise it will make me feel sick (!?!?!) .

The Zoloft has helped me a lot, but it was difficult for me to agree to start on that to. First of all my family doesn't approve of medication. My mother always refers to it as "doing drugs" rather than "taking medication." For a while there my stepfather was very proactive in trying to convince me to stop taking medication. Since I'm away at college now they don't need to know necessarily, but it still makes it uncomfortable.

Then of course there's the fact that it brings up past issues of my experiences with less than perfect (to put it charitably) counselors. On more than one occasion a mental health professional has told me that if I don't want to take medication that must mean that I "don't want this to get better." Then of course there was the fact that when I was in the psychiatric ward medications were almost literally shoved down my throat without anyone asking me how I felt about it. When I was put in the hospital it was basically "Here's your diagnosis, here's your medication, have a nice day." Taking medication was, and still is in many ways, for me symbolic of losing control.

Then again, I do feel like a hypocrite because I do get very frustrated with my ability to concentrate and talk about it a lot with my therpist and even my professors because of the problems it causes me academically and yet when this potential solution is offered to me I'm resistant. In all fairness to my doctor he did say "I know you've been uncomfortable with medication in the past" and suggested I "ease into it" by taking smaller doses first and working up from there.

*Sigh*

[FONT=%value]I just feel very conflicted and defeated about the whole situation. What do you guys think? [/FONT]

 

[Reclusive]

Well, you can always stop taking the medication if you decide it's not for you. I totally hear you about the zoloft and thyroid medication, though - I have the same thing going on. So you can always do it on a 'trial basis'.

 

[Innordinate]

I hate meds too. They scare me and partially think I should be able to get better without them otherwise... I'm not really better just on meds.
I don't even like taking tylenol for my headaches.

I'm trying to come to terms though that meds are helpful, you have to trust that they are and it's probably easier to work on getting better with them.

Sorry, not much help. I have this problem too.

I like the 'easing into them' thing.

 

[njray]

Ron..

Couple questions if I may....... Does your college have an on campus counselor?... How about a disability services dept?

 

[ronin47]

Ron..

Couple questions if I may....... Does your college have an on campus counselor?... How about a disability services dept?

Hi njray. My campus has several counselors at the Wellness Center. That's now I'm able to see the psychiatrist. He comes to the Wellness Center once a week. It would be way too expensive otherwise. I do see a counselor at the Wellness Center, have been for the past two years. I'm also registered with the campus Office for Students with Disabilities. The only accomodation I get though is that I do my tests in a seperate, distraction free room and get extra time to do them. I still have difficulties with things like studying when I have to read a really long article and keeping track of my assignments. It's especially hard with one of my classes where the professor just tells us verbally what the assignment is instead of giving us a sheet or outline telling us exactly what he wants. I can write down the name of an assignment but unless I have a detailed description of it and what's required I'm bound to screw up. I've pretty much thrown up my hands and resigned myself to the fact that I'm always going to screw up and nothing is going to make it better.

Hope that was the response you were looking for ;)

 

[njray]

Not sure if it was the response i was looking for but it is your response. May I ask if you have everbeen tested for or been diagosed with ADD/ADHD

 

[Reclusive]

Just a thought - meds aren't always meant to 'cure' you, but to help you with your symptoms while you do the work. Just because you're on meds now doesn't mean you will be forever, just that they'll keep you in a place where you can heal so you don't need them anymore. That's my view, anyways.

 

[ronin47]

Not sure if it was the response i was looking for but it is your response. May I ask if you have everbeen tested for or been diagosed with ADD/ADHD

Sorry

No, I have not been tested or diagnosed with ADD. Though when the psychologist spent the better part of 6 hours evaluating me PTSD was all she came up with. I would imagine that somewhere in there she was also keeping an eye out for ADD, though I could certainly be wrong. Besides, what if I was diagnosed with ADD? All they would do is try to feed me Ridalin, which is basically crystal meth in pill form. I'm already uncomfortable with medications as it is but I have a VERY strong aversion to medication that is potentially habit forming.

 

[Turtle]

All they would do is try to feed me Ridalin, which is basically crystal meth in pill form. I'm already uncomfortable with medications as it is but I have a VERY strong aversion to medication that is potentially habit forming.

I understand your aversion to taking medications and this is not a attack at all, I just wanted to point out that Ritalin actually acts more similar to cocaine than meth, and that Aderall is the one that is 4 types of amphetamine salts.

***side note/fun fact sorta: they did a study with habitual cocaine uses and administered via IV cocaine and Ritalin and they couldn't tell the difference about 85-90% of the time. I thought that was interesting, granted this was also at an abusive level versus a much lower theraputic level that would be perscribed to someone needing Ritalin***

Sorry I'm a Genetics and Psychology major in college, and part of what I study is actually pharm drugs, so I wanted to make sure everyone has the correct info about drugs. I know it doesn't really affect this thread much but I like when everyone is informed.

As for starting meds, I was completely against it and didn't want to take them for many reasons, but I started taking an alpha blocker to help with anxiety. Which I literally had to use about an hour ago to calm down from an attack. (and very well documented in my diary how bad it was at the start lol) but now I am feeling much more like myself (still jittery but at least not hyperventilating

), and I know it will completely wear off in a few more hours.

Granted that drug doesn't affect brain chemistry which is one of the reasons I agreed to take this compared to others. Starting on valium was very difficult for me to do and my psychiatrist didn't push one way or the other but that helped me too. I had to talk to my therapist about how it made me feel (like I'm some how weaker for taking it and I should be able to do this without meds after everything I've had to go through stuff like that) and I still do from time to time since it's something I still struggle with.

I just remind myself that meds don't change me, they help me be a better me until I can heal enough to take care of my stuff with out them. And that day will come when I don't need them, but I'm not putting a time line on it (more pressure= more anxiety about not meeting a 'deadline') but eventually I won't need them is what I keep reminding myself.

 

[njray]

turtl ..Thanks for insight.... guess I am not alone