My therapist wants me to write a letter to one of the people who sexually assaulted me

[Elizabeth137]

I posted on here a little while ago that I was having trouble talking to my therapist about sexual assault. Well I ended up sending her an email with some of the things I was having trouble saying and since then I have been able to communicate that I feel frustrated and not productive by not being able to come up with what I want to say when we meet. She has been very understanding that I have trouble talking about it and asked me to think about which time bothered me the most and write a letter to my rapist. She said to just email it to her and not send it to him. I started writing and man I have so many things to say! It feels so good to get all of this out and I'm sure I'll panic after I send it to her and before my next session when we have to talk about it but right now I am feeling really good about it. Just wanted to share a small win for anyone else who is struggling!

 

[littleoc]

Sending it to her sounds so much less intimidating! I hope it was therapeutic and I hope you're doing well now that some hours have passed!

 

[arfie]

when i worked this assignment --sans email--, after the therapist portion was done, i took the letters and burned them in a letting go ritual. it wasn't a panacea, but it helped. my agreement with not mailing them off to the people in question has only grown since then. forgiveness is not about absolving the other person. it is about letting go of the hurt and resentment which keeps me bound to them.

later, with some of the perps who lived closer to home (sibs, etc.), i folded the letters into paper boats, placed them in running water (gutters and creeks) to meditatively watch them sail away until they saturated and sank.

 

[Elizabeth137]

Sending it to her sounds so much less intimidating! I hope it was therapeutic and I hope you're doing well now that some hours have passed!

Thanks! I actually haven’t sent it yet! I was going to hold off since I’m not meeting with her until next week but I think I’ll send it today! Otherwise I am just going to spend way too much time editing it lol

when i worked this assignment --sans email--, after the therapist portion was done, i took the letters and burned them in a letting go ritual. it wasn't a panacea, but it helped. my agreement with not mailing them off to the people in question has only grown since then. forgiveness is not about absolving the other person. it is about letting go of the hurt and resentment which keeps me bound to them.

later, with some of the perps who lived closer to home (sibs, etc.), i folded the letters into paper boats, placed them in running water (gutters and creeks) to meditatively watch them sail away until they saturated and sank.

That’s a really good idea thanks!! Think I will try doing something like that

 

[Tinyflame]

I was recommended to and did the float the boat version for someone for grief. It was very helpful as I cried. Ironically it was at a river I often contemplated sinking myself in. I don't feel that way about that river ever now.

I realize (just for me) it's not so much about thinking or not thinking, but what I'm thinking about. Or rather that and how I'm thinking about it.

That is great it has been helpful and healing for you!

 

[Freddyt]

I know someone who did this - for entirely different reasons - but the effect, although not immediate, was wonderful. They realized they would never likely get to say their piece to the person but by writing the letter they got to let that stuff go.