Does anybody want to join in being a routine buddy (“accountability” partner)?

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
Here are the things I want to work on between now and May. A check in could be motivational if I came here and reported back weekly.....so I'd like to give it a go.
Here are my goals:
1. Call 2 schools about employment opportunities by Jan. 15, 2022 and if a position is available, ask for more information on the positions and consider the possibilties of going back to work.
2.1 Eat 3 meals/day and no more than 1200 calories a day of pre-portioned, pre-cooked healthy food to be evaluated daily using a checklist.
3. Lose 10 lbs by March 15, 2022, and re-evaluate for a new goal when successful.
4. Complete aerobic exercise in any form for a minimum of 1 hr, 4 times a week through May 2022..
5. Attend 4 different in person classes to help improve social skills, increase knowledge, or creative interests by May 30, 2022
6. Draft a budget for the new year and stick with it, as measured by a monthly record keeping system and monthly expenditure review through May 30, 2022.
8. Make medical appointments for cancer check, audiologist, bloodwork, pneumonia shot, and shingles vaccination by January 31 and follow through on all appts.
9. Finish organizing my space to fit my needs and comfort by May 30, 2022, measured by self-observation of the spaces.
 

Actualise

Learning
Hi @OliveJewel, the presence of denial, self sabotage etc can make a journey non linear.
I’ve had problems that have made goal setting challenging too. My depersonalisation has tentatively abated enough to be able to identify and put down goals. So frustrating when you can’t pin down anything because everything is floating and shifting and unreal feeling which makes you feel sick when you try to engage with it.*
A lot of people’s journey will be steps forward and steps back in a more “meandery” route than simply a-b. Whatever your path is is the right one for you!

It’s interesting you mention isolation as a challenge to goal setting. I don’t really know what that’s about but there could be something to it. I’ve valiantly tried all the apps and tools to get habits to stick/ just get into a regular schedule without success for ages. Perhaps getting in a flow with others is the key. They do say there can be more power meditating in a group than meditating on your own. Perhaps this group will provide that part of the equation required to make stuff stick and we can all gain combined power from it.

Hi @TruthSeeker, committing to goals until May/ or just a few months/ bit sized chunks and then reassessing is a good idea. Setting goals for the whole year or forever 😱 is so daunting.

*rant about CBT: I think that’s why crude off the rack CBT fails for so many. What confounds me is the amazing lack of understanding when professionals in the field ie psychologists don’t get that and then get angry at the client/patient for non compliance/ laziness! If it was as simple as just learn to set reminders, tick check boxes and just do it why do so many people have such difficulty budging habits? The answer isn’t that they are bad, lazy or rebellious. And if there is any hint of the latter two then you need to ask what that’s due to and utilise a lot more skills than CBT to work out and deal with them.
 
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OliveJewel

MyPTSD Pro
that’s why crude off the rack CBT fails for so many.
I hear you loud and clear! I’m a failed CBT client. I think it’s related to why diets fail too. If people could will themselves to create new behavior patterns, whole industries would be unnecessary. Not saying some people haven’t, but for the most part willpower isn’t enough. Accountability and encouragement and small changes over a long period of time work better for me.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
I hear you loud and clear! I’m a failed CBT client. I think it’s related to why diets fail too. If people could will themselves to create new behavior patterns, whole industries would be unnecessary. Not saying some people haven’t, but for the most part willpower isn’t enough. Accountability and encouragement and small changes over a long period of time work better for me.
I always pick one thing to get started on....get that one going well, and when it's feeling pretty good, add another. I deal with less frustration this way. When I stop my home habits, and visit a relative for several weeks....It all falls to hell.....that's where I am - but only temporarily......gotta climb back on the horse and get moving forward like before.
 

Actualise

Learning
Here are my goals with SMART applied:
1.meditate on waking every day
2.do aerobic exercise for 40 minutes 6 days a week (I will update this goal if different guidelines are recommended)
3.do morning constitutional and get at least 20 minutes sun/daylight on my eyes to set my circadian rhythms every day
4.write my gratitude journal up to date every day
5.get any eating done within an 8 hour window every day
6.read from a hardcopy book before bed every night
7.meditate every night
8.give thanks for all the great things that have and will come every night
9.switch off the light for sleep by 10pm every night

Re #6 or I might listen to an audiobook, I’ll see.
Re #7 I may drop it.


@TruthSeeker - how did you come up with your exercise schedule? A lot of people do an hour and I’m wondering if this is what should be done.

Re CBT I think the sticking point for me is mostly where the goals set feel external/ like arbitrary heuristics even when I have set them and know intellectually the reason for them. I need to emotionally feel that the goals have organically come up from within me and that I’m drawn to them. Any hint of “pushing”(/stick waving discipline) no.
Of course we’re doing a form of CBT here but we all decide our way and for me it is carrot dangling.


While I already do some of my goals I’m still finding some challenging. Especially the 10pm bedtime.
How is everyone else doing?
 

DharmaGirl

MyPTSD Pro
I'm at a really dissociative state right now. I was dissociated most of my life, got better, and now I've slipped back. So my goals are:

Mindfulness meditation 5 minutes a day, 7 days a week.
Make my bed when I get up every day.
Log 5 things I'm grateful for every day in a journal.

I think this is all I can handle right now, but I will add when I'm able.
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
Here are my goals with SMART applied:
1.meditate on waking every day
2.do aerobic exercise for 40 minutes 6 days a week (I will update this goal if different guidelines are recommended)
3.do morning constitutional and get at least 20 minutes sun/daylight on my eyes to set my circadian rhythms every day
4.write my gratitude journal up to date every day
5.get any eating done within an 8 hour window every day
6.read from a hardcopy book before bed every night
7.meditate every night
8.give thanks for all the great things that have and will come every night
9.switch off the light for sleep by 10pm every night

Re #6 or I might listen to an audiobook, I’ll see.
Re #7 I may drop it.


@TruthSeeker - how did you come up with your exercise schedule? A lot of people do an hour and I’m wondering if this is what should be done.

Re CBT I think the sticking point for me is mostly where the goals set feel external/ like arbitrary heuristics even when I have set them and know intellectually the reason for them. I need to emotionally feel that the goals have organically come up from within me and that I’m drawn to them. Any hint of “pushing”(/stick waving discipline) no.
Of course we’re doing a form of CBT here but we all decide our way and for me it is carrot dangling.


While I already do some of my goals I’m still finding some challenging. Especially the 10pm bedtime.
How is everyone else doing?
Sleep: I've been getting to bed between 10-11. That works, because some nights I only sleep 7 hrs and I'm refreshed-and I'm waking up 6-7. I'm more productive in the morning, and that's when I write.

Exercise: If you are looking to excel at weight loss, and when you are exercising you are intending to do your very best.....every other day starting off gives the muscles a day rest in between workout days thus helping to prevent injuries from overexertion...... I've always been told to work up to it.....so like start every other day (4 days a week) and then when you have no aches or pains or are not dragging the rest of the day, then add one..... hrs per week or double up (e.g. do 2- 1 hr water aerobics classes in a day and skip). Once I get in the 4 times a week habit, then I add exercises by 1......one double class, 1 heavier set of weights, 1 newly added exercise routine.......(like cycling when you never cycled)......because too much too soon can cause pain, and that will stall your exercise program.
 

Actualise

Learning
@TruthSeeker wow your sleep is so great! So far I go to sleep late or early morning if you see it that way. It seems to be about 5 hours I get then I wake despite needing way more. 7 hours is a very good night for me. I would love to get many months of solid 9 hours quality sleep. Sleep is so repairing, refreshing, renewing.
 

Actualise

Learning
Hi Peeps,
to make it easy to tick off my goals I used notes on iPhone and inserted a table. I listed my goals in rows down the y axis and dates in columns on x axis. A doddle with this program. I think Android phones and Microsoft word have the same capability. I tried to paste a screenshot of my table but it doesn’t work.
Anyway here is one explainer

Just thought I’d share in case it helps anyone 😊
 

TruthSeeker

MyPTSD Pro
Hi Peeps,
to make it easy to tick off my goals I used notes on iPhone and inserted a table. I listed my goals in rows down the y axis and dates in columns on x axis. A doddle with this program. I think Android phones and Microsoft word have the same capability. I tried to paste a screenshot of my table but it doesn’t work.
Anyway here is one explainer

Just thought I’d share in case it helps anyone 😊
I use my Iphone notes for a daily checklist........and title each day so that they are easy to find in numeric order-January 15, 2022-Saturday, January 16, 2022-Sunday, etc. I put a week of dated titles in on Sunday, and add the things I need to do during the day, with a circle in front that turns a check mark when I press it-meaning it is done.Dated notes are great, because not only do you get to tick off your to do list, but if you ever wanted a way to find that you did indeed complete something important, you can reference your notes. Titling the notes that way is also grounding for general time.....day, date..... I've never used the table before, but I'll have to give it a try!
 

Actualise

Learning
@TruthSeeker thanks for the tips on notes that sounds like nifty. There is also the reminders app on iPhone which I have tried. I always just hit up notes as catch all for anything I want to jot down though, including to do lists.

So I’m treating today as the start of the week. I’m keeping a tally next to my goals. At latest, next Saturday or Sunday I will check back in to to see how I went and gear up for another week.
All welcome to check back in to see how you went too.
Of course when you start your week is up to you, you decide. When you start your year is also up to you, every second/ moment/ “now” is the start of a new year. So people are always welcome to drop in 😊
 
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