Does Anyone Else Cry While Having A Ptsd Attack?

[Queen Boudica]

Yes, I can relate to Maddog, lots of uncontrolled crying comes with the feeling of fear, uselessness, hopelessness, powerlessness, and the cruelty, harshness, and lack of empathy, or unfairness I perceive from others when I am triggered. Probably going back to how I felt especially as a child (actually most of my life, since I have been surrounded by abusive people who said they loved me but wanted to control, which resulted me still being the child).

Sooner or later there will be a huge mass of crying.

 

[InHell11]

I have, but it really depends on the nature of the PTSD attack. I tend to either feel either very threatened and vulnerable in which case I might. Or I go into more of a rage mode in which case I feel angry and overwhelmed but instead of crying I am more likely to yell and break or hit things. I was taking clonzepam to help with the anxiety but it made the rage mode thing more frequent and intense.

 

[Sailorgal]

I had the rage attacks as well but then would cry afterwards - but then it was over something completely different.

For me, anxiety builds up, like a well building up and then the tears flow. I can't stop it. It's like a bursting dam - the cry is different then when I was pre-PTSD. Then all of a sudden it will finish on it's own, not necessarily after calming down. Then I'm in like a trance.

 

[Hashi]

I cry a lot. Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to end the California drought by myself.

Similar for me. I actually feel dehydrated. I suppose that's a psychosomatic reaction, but sometimes I'm tempted to think it's literal because I've cried so much.

 

[ms spock]

Recently I have been crying for about 15 minutes to half an hour per day.

 

[Abstract]

Hi! You say crying attacks whilst having a PTSD attack. Yes. Intense emotions come with this stuff so I suppose crying is totally understandable. And I think that is different to the crying that comes generally from the depressive symptoms that come with PTSD so often. And to do with mourning having the illness and how it has affected our lives.

I hate crying and one reason is that these days I almost always seem to go into a freeze. Hate freezes.

I relate a lot to what maddog said and Sailorgal. That there are extreme opposites that happen. Numbness and tears or both one after the other. I have very numb and removed periods and seem trapped in quietness sometimes when triggered. In some ways that is worse. But thats probably old behaviour for me. I especially do this if the trigger is being with someone threatening in the now. When I feel very threatened I sometimes automatically go into "look normal on the outside at any cost" mode whilst internally feeling like I am screaming and crying.

But when I cry when triggered it is sometimes like I have sprung a leak and nothing contains it.

 

[Sailorgal]

When I feel very threatened I sometimes automatically go into "look normal on the outside at any cost" mode whilst internally feeling like I am screaming and crying.

For me, it's like standing outside a door and hearing someone inside kicking and screaming to get out. Oddly, I can't really tell where it's coming from or if I even care.

It's weird because there were a few times I tried to calm myself down and it was like walking into a tidal wave. At times even the tears were falling but there was no emotion.

 

[maddog]

All of these responses are interesting and comforting to me, I think I at times experience pretty much everything you have each described.

I know and deeply hate the frozen cold exterior which hides the kicking screaming reality inside - that is a very triggering feeling of isolated disconnected aloneness for me, which sadly tends to intensify both the detached exterior and the frantic inner world at the same time.

And yes, when that dam bursts, so so often in the presence of my T (therapist) these days, sometimes I feel both psychologically and physically powerless to get things under control. So often I find myself struggling almost frantically to calm myself down and quell my tears, aware that he has to leave and that I need to get myself together, struggling for dignity and composure and the decency of respecting his need to leave, and yet literally physically unable to do so. It feels like a complete loss of control and a plummetting tumbling sensation of complete emotional freefall - very very scarey and distressing.

Sometimes I cry and don't even know why and can't identify the thoughts or feelings underlying the tears. Sometimes I want to cry but can't, and the pain of the suppressed emotion is almost physical. Sometimes I cry and cry and then randomly, without losing any of the emotional intensity, just stop crying physically and become almost frozen - that one must look very confusing and unstable.

Sometimes crying makes me feel better, and sometimes it doesn't.

It's all so so confusing.

Maddog

 

[Abstract]

so so often in the presence of my T thesedays,

I hope this isnt annoying MD but I wonder if there isn't just a little bit of positiveness in there. Crying to an extent for some of us requires trust. And it can be the release of old hurt which is important for recovery. Not to discount the horribleness of it of course.

I am relieved to hear others understand and speak about similar experiences with outward normality whilst internally being in intense pain and crisis.

 

[anni]

For me it depends on which on earth PTSD related symtom I'm dealing with. Also one will make me sob one day, like a faucet, another day will just be annoying, another will be laughable, sorry- like the whole whifty thing. You can get awfully, awfully tired of that- wasting part of your day getting off at the wrong exit, missing appointments because you haven't a friggin clue what the H*LL you wrote ( in your own handwriting ) in that time slot without the details attached. Being SO different, after all this time, all the work, maybe that's the one which sometimes flattens me the wrong way- so will end up booing.

For what it's worth, these other wild emotional swings, cold and hot, have gotten further apart. 20 years out- it's just a tad helpful, since there's more sheer time in which to regain one's footing. The main problem appears to be this second head one carts around, and the 3rd eyeball in the middle of each forehead.

 

[safenow]

Britt mentioned the only time I cry. It's been over 20 years since I've had sex, but when I did, there were times it would trigger me and I'd about fall apart. The tears would come and I'd try to get away from my husband. He thought it was funny when my little child would come out. He enjoyed being cruel to me then, but when I learned what he'd done to his own little children it made sense to me. I believe that's why I've been celibate all these years.

 

[pumpkinpie]

In response to the original question here about crying during a PTSD flashback - YES. In fact it it the single most disabling symptom I have, and it's what caused me the most problems at work.

I have a very hard time with authority figures, and with peers who "have the ear" of someone in authority over me. Any time I am unjustly accused, put in an impossible situation, shouted at, humiliated et cetera, my initial response is anger, which instantly turns into inconsolable crying that lasts for hours. I am unable to stop, and it gets worse if someone tries to comfort me! This has been my downfall in my career - it has happened at every single job I have ever had. It's so embarrassing and it leaves me even more vulnerable to abuse by the opportunists who see it, and use it to their advantage.

I have NEVER seen anyone else do this, and it's the thing that has made me feel most alone. There is absolutely nothing that will make it stop once begun, despite 25 years of psychotherapy. It's like a seizure that can occur unpredictably and has to run its course. It used to happen maybe once a year, but became more frequent before I had to stop working. I think it was a vicious cycle - it would happen and coworkers or supervisors would lose even more respect for me, which caused them to treat me badly, then they would get away with it, and others who previously wouldn't have dared to be rude to me then felt they could get away with it, and it was all OK because anyone could just say that the problem was me, since I'm emotionally unstable. Awful.