Funny, I have often wondered why my husband did not react more to the traumas he's had in his life. He's had a few, and severe, but also a terribly analytical mind and the aptitude to implement solutions, as it sounds you have. If you do not mind, I am going to show him your design, since suspect he'll genuinely recognize exactly the dynamics and possibilties. Good grief the price of these things had gone UP-silly, isn't it? At any rate, I think my point is, I've often thought he has this sort of self-healing 'thing', for want of a better phrase, where being enables to do these solutions-ie making a generator out of thin air, must do something which gives his head some satisfaction and closure, if that makes and sense, apart from the distraction. He's always doing it, too, which is why your generator caught my interest. Thanks for that description, by the way, and know he'll know exactly what's up there! At any rate, of course it does not provide the final, absolute solution for you, but as a positive, productive means of channeling the racing mind must at least give one something satisying that was accomplished out of all that.
Not to sound TOO much as if putting these workers on a pedstal, but have often, oten wondered how EMT's firefighter. police, first responders do deal with what they must see. We get to drive past the cleaned up accident- all that's left is the skid marks, maybe some bits of glass but the cones and police tape have been removed. There's always some emergency worker, when they show these on the news, holding up a tarp to shield 'us' from whatever awfulness occured to a human. We then get to gloss it over and continue our lives.I do always thing well that's nice but some human, trained or otherwise, had to make sense out of the unspeakable- was on the other side of that tarp. I think we call them 'public servants', which is a stupid term, I think-implies they HAD to do this, and have to, instead fo having chosen it at some point probably to genuinely HELP. I think it also serves to further distance the public from the realities of these jobs, you know? So dry! I'm saying zero of anything helpful here so will shush, but hope I am certainly in no way at all a unique person. If I have had these thoughts, then many. It's not a 'yay rah' sentiment, but just a respectful acknowledgement that what you did was daily pretty much above and beyond in the real sense of the word. Just appreciated, although know that might not be helpful.
I'm not sure exactly where I'm going with speaking of the racing mind, except that I can't help but feel one's head sometimes looks for ways to get OUT of this, sort of behind our backs, if that makes sense, too. I guess the ability to channel this towards that generator, and positive solutions ( as hokey as that sounds, and believe me, I know it does)and away from the futility 'out there' is where it;s tough.The other possibly annoying thing, because it's something everyone says including me, is that some forms of therapy can sometimes ( underlined) put to rest those images one is plagued with. I say annoying because if you've already 'been there' that sort of comment will make you wish to fling the computer somewhere irretrievable. You are obviously very bright plus already stated you're a solution-finder so would imagine you've explored those options-plese don't fling, was adding it just-in-case! :)
I think I said I'd shush several hours ago and really will now. Thanks much for sharing the generator. He's at present 'fooling around with' his words) the prospect of getting more power into the storage battery from the little solar panel by harnessing something or other down at our creek. I can't explain it properly, he's having a blast so I just make him lunch and nod like I understand what he's talking about.
Thanks again, and please excuse of zero help, which honestly realize may not have been!
Anni
