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Does anyone else have an "inner peace"?


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What I mean by a sense of "inner peace" is an emotional state characterized by peace, tranquility, bliss, euphoria, solitude, and freedom to contemplate or think about anything one desires without the surroundings causing one to feel uncomfortable while ruminating.
I have autism and C-PTSD. Loud noises disrupt my inner peace. Certain people disrupt my inner peace. Being told what to do disrupts my inner peace. Being intruded upon disrupts my inner peace. Overly loud energetic noisy hyperactive rude people disrupt my inner peace. People insulting me, be it intentional or unintentional, disrupts my inner peace. Crowds disrupt my inner peace.
Can anyone else relate? If so, what disrupts your inner peace?
Ehh. Occasionally. Usually when I am totally out my head, high on adrenaline, alcohol, drugs, partying my ass off, causing myself stupid amounts of pain.
OR the crash, afterwards.

So basically the exact opposite of yours, big crowds, music so loud your ears will ring for days, noise energy dancing getting up on the table with my best pals and dancing my lil ass off. Smashing something up on the way home bc f*ck it all. Usually high asf.

So anything that so totally and utter alt distracts me from the absolute hellhole that is my brain and life.
I like how inner peace is something that is disrupted for you. I might use that as a reframe for me. Because I see it more the other way around: what happens to give me inner peace, because the hyperviligance, the internal monologue, the anxiety and worry are there a lot.
I’m not sure that I’d believe anyone who said they had a permanent state of inner peace, unless there was some kind of pathology behind it!

When I can achieve moments of inner peace, I enjoy those moments. It wasn’t something I was capable of for most of my life - it was a skill that I had to work hard to learn.

Now I can. It makes sense to me that there will be things that disrupt it. That’s a survival mechanism, but also sometimes just a functional response - my brain telling me there’s something external to me that requires my attention.

Sometimes it’s not even external. I still have thoughts, conflicts, problems that need solving, which require me to go inside myself in a way that’s not peaceful. That’s okay with me, because functioning requires that. So long as I can still redirect my mind to a relaxed state in an appropriate context.

I do my daily relaxation when I go to bed in the evening, so there’s less external distractions, and no reason why those internal distractions need my immediate attention.
What disrupts my inner peace? An infinite number of things.

Being determined enough to find / correct / protect my own inner peace whilst also connecting/respecting/protecting others? = Priceless.

It’s not a full time thing, in either case. More of a moving from bright point to brought point. Like any emotion, or plan, truly. NOTHING proceeds as ideal. The ability to improvise, adapt, overcome? Equally priceless.

Balance. It’s a thing.
As is self control.
As is not making hard things harder, but rolling with what comes up.
Oh what I would give for a little inner peace. Never had it - what I have is an inner maelstrom; a non-stop tornado of thoughts, worries, feelings and sensations that leave the landscape of my mind perpetually in a state of destruction and despair.

Add in a mixture of toxic shame, depression, racing thoughts and a feeling of utter worthlessness, and what you have is a place that not even Hollywood would dare to make a movie about. I can never make it stop - it's literally caused suicidal ideation as there are times I feel I just can't go on.