Does Anyone Else Mask Their Anxiety?

[Unknown Victim]

I have borderline, but I put my anxiety in the unconscious level. I started to feel my anxiety again and it sucks. My therapist wants for me to feel them and deal with those anxiety.

 

[Rumors]

You certainly didn't hijack the thread! Information is power! It is completely on topic and I hope you can find some useful information here that can help!

 

[anthony]

I don't really share my anxiety nor do I outwardly have symptoms that the general public or friends would recognize. I just get anxious inside and amped up but no one knows.

Yup... honestly, sounds like standard PTSD to me. We feel anxious, yet hide it behind the mask we wear to fit into society and participate.

This reminded me of flying to a funeral yesterday. My anxiety was through the roof, I had 2mg a valium already. I was sitting on the plane sweat running down my back, but it wasn't hot. Took another 4mg valium and my body calmed down, sweating stopped. Nobody though really new around me, other than maybe Nicolette who knows my specific signs of stress and anxiety. Otherwise... everyone around me had no idea I was so anxious as I sat, chatted, read, so forth, like anyone else on the plane.

 

[Alistair]

My anxiety has historically been incapacitating.

I found my mother dwas when I was 15 and my life stopped..

I'm 55 now and my wife and I are separated. This has my anxiety through the roof, but thankfully I discovered EMDR and it has changed my life..so much so that my wife has hinted at reconciliation.

I can't recommend it more as an effective way to stop onset anxiety. I've improved vastly simply by watching videos, but im going for my first practitioner session next week, and I can't wait.

 

[prayingforpeace]

@Rumors
My abusive parents made it very clear that I should never "show" my emotions. Not only did they not care but having a certain "look" on my face made them even more angry sometimes. They never wanted reminders of their words, actions, etc. reflected on the faces of their abused kids. I regularly heard the phrase "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" from my parents after being hit.
It wasn't until many years later, that my ability to hide that part of me came crashing down. Now my anxiety is pretty obvious. The need to stay isolated and not drive as much. The feeling of impending doom, heart attack coming and shaking... The fear in my words... Lack of sleep... But for the first 40 years of my life, I didn't really appear anxious on the outside.

It seems like your keeping the anxiety inside was learned from early on. It served you at some point most likely. But now if you are safe, it's ok to TELL. You said it's like you're telling a secret. It may help empower you to tell. You don't have to suffer alone. I think abusers often put us in that situation to wear us down and make getting help even that much harder. It is your call and of course do what's best for you. I just hope you can continue to get better!

 

[Rumors]

I did go and I did brush over it but (of course) minimized the meaning my anxiety was having at the moment so we skipped on past it. It is hard for me to say "this feels debilitating at the moment and I don't know what to do..." So, since then I have stayed really busy, meditated some, and tried to keep good thoughts....I feel better today but I definitely know that for whatever reason my anxiety shot through the roof!
I wish I could pinpoint why it seems to skyrocket. I would love to just be able to handle it on my own. I am using the skills I have been taught plus trying to keep my wise mind while realizing I need to be kind to myself and just sit with the feelings. Usually I stuff it and force it shut!! Anyway, keep posting because I am reading them all and gathering ideas and skills...thanks

 

[SpiritFree]

I simply masked my panic attacks by not going out telling family and friends I'm not feeling well. I keep my feelings to myself and never expose them to the outside world including family. I was "trained" to swallow up my inside feelings. Many think we were a perfect family, but we were not. I had to put up with alot of crap that I created a mental box where no one is allowed inside except me. Now I'm paying for it, but I'm trying to break out of that box.

 

[Owl girl]

Yes I hide my anxiety a lot of the time. I had to hide it at work when I nearly had a bad anxiety attack because I saw someone who looked extremely similar to my ex. I hide it at home because I don't want to cause my family any extra stress than they've already been through.

 

[dreesieblues]

I often get comments on how calm I am, when in reality I am completely shutting down internally and feel like I am about to collapse! It's crazy how we can feel so much, yet not show it on the outside.

 

[LynnSharon]

Went to bed and woke up with a higher level of anxiety than normal. I go through phases where my anxiety...

OH my..Gosh! I feel just like you every day ...I wake up with an awful feeling of dread ..afraid I won't be able to face anything negative/bad that comes my way. This is followed by extreme anxiety all day long. Afraid that everyone at work knows my weakness. These feelings come from being in an abusive relationship, being fired and being antisocial

 

[LynnSharon]

OH my..Gosh! I feel just like you every day ...I wake up with an awful feeling of dread ..afraid I w...

Does that make any sense?

 

[LynnSharon]

@Rumors
My abusive parents made it very clear that I should never "show" my...

I was raised in that environment also