Does Anyone Else Suffer Multiple Trauma?

[UmightKnowMe]

I have a good number of traumatic incidents to work through also. I have never really tried to figure out how many because i would probably freak myself out. I know what you mean Bailey about them being all crossreferenced together in my brain. I was doing a narritive today about one thing...and really struggling...and something in that incident clicked onto something from another one and I got all lost in that one for a bit. I guess its good I have a therapist to work with so someone is set in reality!

There probably isnt a one right way to do it...you just gotta pick one and dive in I think.

 

[jeapea]

Hi... eastern oregon doesn't offer much for therapy. I have horses for that. Several. Each one for a different trauma. They seem to understand. So far, there are enough of them ..... as long as I don't remember something else....

 

[trial'n'error]

I have many in that the same trauma was often repeated and became cumulative: abuse and neglect from my mom and dad (respectively) since I can remember, and I keep remembering earlier incidents with mom; serial harassment, humiliation, property crimes and beatings (the incidents were often daily and probably three times a week on average) from the other kids at school, and teachers would often join in the humiliation, second through twelfth grade; emotional and physical abuse from a teacher who was fired for abusing his entire fifth grade class; one sexual molestation by a stranger when I was a very innocent 15 year old, a gang rape at age 18 and several subsequent "date" rapes; a one-year, classic, quickly escalating domestic violence live-in relationship where eventually I was going to work with visible bruises on my arms, and had been strangled more than once. During this scene there was much humiliation, verbal and sexual abuse, and another rape.

I believe there are things from my past which I still do not remember. Many of my childhood abuse incidents were shrouded in amnesia until this year (I am 40).

There was only one, one-time trauma: I was witness and first to the scene of a fatal car accident when I was 29. The poor old woman was so obviously and horribly dead, I realized not only would CPR do no good, I was not capable of it, froze up and became numb immediately. I was debriefed the next day thanks to knowledgeable co-workers. I feel that I dealt with that trauma adequately and though the image haunted me for quite a while, the accident was eventually integrated into my adult life experience as well as anything like that can be.

 

[Irton Pike]

I would say I have had two definates and one probable:

1. Massive car crash crash in 1996. Took car for flying lesson of edge of hill in lake district.
2. Months of investigation for bowel cancer, during which time my boss started bullying me and attacking me over my PTSD symptoms

3. The probable. When was 9 years old I was shot in the belly by my brother with a .22 air rifle. Bleed, bleed. I think this was the first time i felt like this.

 

[fallout]

I have multiple traumas, and I can relate to the confusion of untangling them. Actually, at this point in therapy we have actually given up on that. Instead, I'm learning to focus less on the confusion of what happened and more on the reality of what is left of me. This basically amounts to a limited number of positive experiences that have shaped me, and while it is hard to feel unlucky, it helps me connect with reality better.

Maybe once I get really grounded with that I can try to revisit the past again, but it helps to have perspective to go from.

 

[Tinyflame]

Welcome alicia! :hello:

Yep, multiples for me too alicia, but always down-played them to survive, never named them as "traumas" (to myself)- you know, "carry on, get over it, etc.", to myself.

It has been so long for me trying to integrate and deal with it myself that I find they overlap to some degree; that is, triggers about what seems to be related to a (more recent) trauma remind me of feelings and thoughts of earlier one(s). Sometimes it does seem to get complicated, but I think that's part of the problem- it's hard to face one trauma when so many more are "piggy-backing" along with it. And then for me it seems to include the self-esteem issues, etc., -all rolled into one.

I think that's part of why it's so overwhelming, you're trying to keep your emotions and thoughts in check and then you're bombarded with 50 of them virtually all at once (and all negative ones, of course).

 

[midi]

It is very overwhelming. I tried to tell myself that I have worked through the first 22 years of abuse--but finding out my mother was good pals with the wife beater rapist sent me into a tail spin of nightmares and constant migraines all over again. I used to ask the universe, why, why all these near death and abusive incidents? Nobody else seems to go through them! Why? What did I do to deserve it? I don't think of it that way anymore, I just take it one day at a time. Whatever seeps into the scarred mind does. I recognize my limitations and don't attack myself for the maladaptive behaviours. It's ok to be frustrated.

 

[skyp56]

Hi, Alicia!
Yes, multiple traumas, and the same confusion about which to work on first. But, in therapy, I'm finding that sometimes what comes out of my mouth is not the trauma I thought I was going to work on. So I think the others on here are right about handling them as they come up. I especially liked the post mentioning the brain's wiring, and then it's stewing in the juices of chemicals introduced to it.

Welcome to the board!
skyp

 

[uplate]

Yep, multiple traumas here too. I'm a fan of the self paced organic approach to treatment. Like others have said go with what comes up as it comes up. Trust your intuition, mine got really hypersensitive along with everything else. There's no time limit on working through it only a driving discomfort level and catharsis isn't the goal rather to improve quality of life, the main thing is to get stabilised before moving onto the other stuff accumulating more freedom from it as you go.

I haven't had a lot of trauma specific therapy, it's simply not available to me in the quantity and setting to be effective. Having been burnt by the industry before I wasn't keen to go back either. Strangely I got through without it although it would have been easier if I'd had access to it, a lot of my recovery has been (nesassarily) self directed since in spite of being told I didn't have to go through it alone I was left with my butt hanging out on a regular basis and not everyone I met knew what they were doing. I had to draw quite heavily from other resources such as books and articles and try to put what made sense from it into practice, hairy and maybe not comprehensive but I got enough out of it to make it work. Looking for this stuff too I ran out of material fast, every time I found something new it just repeated what I'd already found. I started getting curious about how other cultures deal with trauma, not much specific info but it does come up in themes in their writing, stories, sayings, seems western culture is less inclined to accept trauma than some others, still looking into that one. Oddly I found philosophy helped too. Keeping a journal is good too, get yourself a nice one and make it really messy, don't think just write and see what comes out.

 

[shari]

Weird thing about complex (multiple) trauma is that it is all interrelated. I dont' mean that it is all the same, because that would be just silly!!!
I do mean that symptoms of PTSD can be heightened by any trauma that you have ever suffered, doesnt' matter when or how bad. Triggers are triggers. They all seem to play upon eachother.
In therapy I tend to focus on my lousy abusive marriage. The shoving to the ground, things thrown at my head, the LOVELY exposure to an STD that he was treating himself for but didn't tell me, while I was pregnant etc. etc. etc.
However, the feeling of betrayal and disbelief taps into the child sexual molestation by a stranger who was prosecuted and my dad beating me in the head. So one thing triggers another thing, triggers another thing, when there are multiple traumas. For me getting a therapist who has treated trauma victims for 20 years has been the key. She gets it all and someday I hope to get up to speed!
I laugh all the time at the things she said at the begining of my therapy that now are rules I live by. It was a language I didn't understand.
I take it as it comes and try to understand how it all taps in to EVERYTHING that came before.

 

[wastedmylife]

my life is trauma after another, it is essentialy incomprehensible at this point

 

[Tinyflame]

wastedmylife,

-I found that being forced to deal with symptoms "One day at a Time (One minute at a time, as necessary)", is starting to unwind the ball of yarn, finally.

Mine started many years ago and when I finally started to let myself try to inventory it in my head there was a lot of crap. The last incident wasn't even that big a deal (compared to the others) and I just fell apart.
The emotions feel interlated- "emotional state dependent"- on how you feel, and then you don't know what's coming at you next.

Hang in there, if I can find some relief and manageability, anyone can.
:hello: