Does anyone have issues connecting to their body?

[Reflections]

If so, what does that disconnect look like for you or in what situations do you notice it? It makes sense to me how trauma affects the physical/sexual intimacy part, but I guess I don't really understand why there's a general disconnect in other areas too and how to reconnect.

I'm interested to hear others' experiences and whether any of you have found anything to be helpful in dealing with it and/or understanding it (knowledge you can share about why/how it happens, treatment methods/approaches that helped you, etc.)?

I relate to the general disconnect and not being sure about feelings (what, where, etc). It was frightening when people ask you to find something that isn't there or you don't know. "Emotionally blunted" is the best description for how I am. Yet like others, those emotions can be vastly overwhelming and out of control. With the disconnect though, I don't always notice the more subtle changes until it's too much. It's not that it's not there, but either I'm too over stimulated or too dissociated to notice them. To me, I feel like everything is too overwhelming and my body is just trying too keep everything out. It's more obvious to me when asked me how I'm feeling in times of distress. I think how stressed out I am is related to how disconnected I am.

The body can't be selective of what to block out (plesant and unpleasant is all important information). It's more like the body can only control the percentage of what the nervous system will let in when in danger. So everything, not just trauma related stuff, gets muted or blocked. That's how I understand "why" one cannot notice feelings in a general sense.

A somatic and mindfulness based therapy and meditation helped me to be more aware. The homework I did was probably the most helpful for me. I started off with minor stuff, like noticing I had a headache or my legs were tired and how that felt. Not always "why" or giving it meaning, just noticing how things are. I also became more knowledgeably of what sensations meant. Admittedly I didn't know cold hands, tempoary visual disturbances, or a dry throat was anxiety. I also became better aware what pleasure felt like again. Tingly, warm, fuzzy sensations. At one point, I started to take notes any time I notice pleasure or displeasure. No meaning, no trauma, just do I like it or not. So I have a personal list of what feels good and doesn't. I think doing this sort of thing at home without any trauma connection was helpful for me. I was often too overwhelmed in therapy.

The list I have helps me because I can rely on it to feel soothed or to help me feel connected in a way that isn't scary or overwhelming. I also like doing progressive muscle relaxation mediations, which is just using different muscles and noticing how that feels. Breathing meditation, I find also helpful because the calmer I am the more I'm connected with my body, moreover, you are focused on the natural rythm of your breathing. That's a form of being grounded in your own body.

I can only speak from minor experience, but I hope that helps.

 

[Nessa7]

This is something that I want to talk about with my therapist in a few days. I don't know that I feel physical pain. I'm a klutz and injure myself quite often, but I don't know that I'd ever describe it as being painful. I've also passed several kidney stones and only felt a little uncomfortable. I think that I started to view feeling pain or sickness as something that was partially performative, like maybe people have to act like they're in pain to really feel it. I'm starting to wonder if this is something that is actually bad for my health as it might be causing me to ignore symptoms that other people would consider more serious.