Does anyone have issues connecting to their body?

[Sandstone]

My PTSD journey includes discovering many things that are normal to me, but I'm told aren't normal for the healthy world.

 

[shimmerz]

I can see how it sounds pretty absurd

Absolutely no disrespect in my posting @Ana12. I just thought it was cute. My body is my nemesis that I am attempting to make friends with. Blech! :shifty::banghead:

 

[Crow]

Somatic Experiencing saved my life. I had been labeled as un-treatable and then my psychiatrist trained in SE. She became my main therapist. It's a hard path in that connecting to the body is uncomfortable and sometimes can take years to do successfully but once you've got the connection and the SE tools down, life simply opens up. If you want more details, just pm me.

 

[Rani G2]

Hello Ana12,

I'm interested to know if anyone else has struggled with this whole connecting to your body thing

Yes I did...and I still might Do on some Days. I saw a yoga therapist and the Asanas she picked out for me are helpful.

 

[Mach123]

My body is disconnected but in sex and exercise I feel it. It's not my body it's someone else's. But I use it. My first trauma therapist said I was out of touch with my feelings because when she asked where I felt things in my body I could only say I don't know. We don't do much of that now though the therapist says my body remembers.

 

[MrMoonlight]

During my first few emdr sessions my therapist would ask me where I felt it in my body. I would scan and just randomly guess at parts. I had no idea. She hasn't asked me to scan since that first day. In a couple weeks we start emdr again.

Another frustrating thing is showering, I know I wash face or body, forget I washed and wash again..over and over I do this.

 

[Friday]

I'm interested to know if anyone else has struggled with this whole connecting to your body thing (not in regards to physical/sexual intimacy, but just in general with your own emotions and every day life)?

If so, what does that disconnect look like for you or in what situations do you notice it?

I’m the other way around. I feel too much, too hard. I have to block things off, in order to function. Suck it up, push it down, cool it & coil it, lock it away, wall it off... let things out in controlled, focused doses // keep myself on an extremely short leash and only unclip that leash in situations that channel it... or they’re too much of a distraction.

 

[barefoot]

I'm not very good at connecting to my body and that I don't really like trying to.

For example, when my therapist asks me where I feel a certain emotion in my body, I can't easily sense it or don't like even trying to tune in to my body.

I definitely relate to this too.

Every time my therapist ever asked me what I feel in my body or where I feel something, I could never feel anything. I used to find the questions very bewildering - I used to wonder what other people felt because the whole concept seems bizarre to me. I used to try very hard to concentrate to see what was there but I always drew a blank and just had to say “nothing” or “I don’t know” and, after a while, she pretty much stopped asking....I think partly because the whole thing just made me feel very panicky.

Just the idea of doing body scans was very anxiety-making. If I tried to do it I would feel so anxious I would have to stop or, if I tried to push through the panic, I would dissociate.

In the past year though, I have made some progress. For me, the turning point was having a surgery! I had to have quite a lot of physio afterwards and I was determined that, after years of chronic pain and then having found a great doctor who had then performed the necessary surgery, I was going to really try to do my bit in the rehabilitation phase to try to ensure that I got the best outcome possible. It was incredibly challenging and I had to start very small to build up my tolerance but I do think that whole situation was instrumental in building more connection with my body.

Since then, I have consciously done more to make myself become more aware of my body and more aware and tolerant of sensation. I can now do longer body scans without freaking out/dissociating - sometimes I can feel something somewhere, other times, not really.

I also have shiatsu massage now and then - I like that it is quite firm pressure and kind of stretches and opposed to the strokes of normal massage. It helps me to feel where my “edges” are, if that makes sense?!

Recently, my body seems to be having very visceral reactions to emotional things - being sick after processing in therapy sessions etc. My T says this is my body reconnecting. I would prefer that it was connecting in ways that weren’t so unpleasant, but there you go...!

Body stuff is still absolutely not easy - I still feel resistant to doing this kind of stuff and I often still can’t - or don’t want to - tune in. But there has definitely been progress.

So, I do believe that progress is possible

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I'm more in the category @Friday explained. I feel it all and feel it strongly. Trying NOT to be so damn deeply connected some days is where it gets tricky. The price I pay for actively ignoring it gets higher with each instance.

 

[ms spock]

I have a profound disconnection in regards to my body. I am doing a lot of things.

 

[Natd]

Lately it's been coming up a lot in therapy that I'm not very good at connecting to my body and that I do...

Hi
I also have that problem although it's much better now. The funny thing is I am a yoga teacher and once one of my teacher friends told me how she loved how one of the asanas felt different each time she did it. And it made me realize I had no idea what she was talking about! I didn't feel so I tried; sometimes I would get nothing and other times it was too overwhelming to feel. Now I can with practice and feeling in yoga is possible. However sometimes feeling inside (general sensations) feels too threatening and I still disconnect.
But since having persisted with trying to feel I feel more and also feel pleasurable things more, something I don't when totally disconnected.
The important thing is to go at your pace. Trauma sensitive yoga is great for that. It's your choice.
Haven't tried SE but it's supposed to be good. From what I've read you first learn to find good feelings in your body before processing anything else.

 

[Hope4Now]

I'm interested to know if anyone else has struggled with this whole connecting to your body thing (not in regards to physical/sexual intimacy, but just in general with your own emotions and every day life)?

Ummm, yep. I read this thread because I'm really struggling to connect with my body. For me, when and how the body thing happens depends on "who's driving the bus" (e.g., what part is in control). Sometimes I am completely disconnected--I can see the body but it isn't connected to me. Other times, it's like what @Friday said and it is way too much connection for me to function. I'm aiming for a solid in-between, but haven't made it yet.

I don't want to hijack your thread by responding to what other people said...I couldn't help myself. Maybe some of it will also help you? I hope.

I still feel like I'm going to throw up, run or dissociate if I push the envelope too far. The first few sessions were like torture.

I totally empathize. I lasted one session in a trauma-sensitive yoga class. Terrifying and horrible. You are braver than I. I just do short bits of yoga by myself now, mostly to stretch my body because it helps with chronic pain. I can't get to "feelings" with yoga for some reason; it's like when the body is working, the minds shut off. I did manage a restorative yoga class last month though--only 5 positions in a 2-hour session. Really kind, supportive teacher, and a lot of reiki touch (which is helpful for me).

I wonder if anyone here has tried it? I'm curious to know how exactly it works. My T mentioned it's done in different ways, but that she thinks the "touch" version would be most helpful for me. Even just hearing that phrase made me want to cringe.

I've had a few sessions. It is very powerful and healing, but also scary. For me, it was hugely helpful that the therapist asked if she could put her hand on my arm, and I said yes. This helped me stay more present with some of the body memories that were surging up (no content, just physical feelings and movements that were really intense and frightening). Not all SE involves any touch. Some therapists have you connect to an object in the room, and help you bring your attention back to that if things start getting overwhelming. The idea, from what I learned, is to allow your body to "complete" what was shut down or dissociated during traumas.

When my t asked what my body wanted to do, it was that I wanted to sit on the floor in front of her couch and be small. She sat on the floor with me and held me. I blurted out the words "I was all alone with him". She got up off the floor, said he is gone now, Im kicking him out, walked to the door, opened it and slammed it. As weird as it sounds, when I heard that door slam I instantly felt myself take this huge breath of relief. It was like what I needed to happen all those years ago was taking place.

Okay, I want your therapist. That sounds like a really healing experience!!! I love my therapist, but he wants me to work with my parts to do all this myself. It is just now starting to change though...maybe because finally some of my traumatized parts are coming out a bit more with him in the sessions.

During my first few emdr sessions my therapist would ask me where I felt it in my body. I would scan and just randomly guess at parts. I had no idea.

This made me laugh in empathy because I did the same thing. Also when I was asked to rate the level of intensity of feeling from 1-10. I had no clue...just gave random numbers. My T finally figured this out and we've put the emdr on hold for a bit. Sigh.