Does Being In "Therapy" Mean Having To Have A Therapist?

[James B.]

JMHO, I think not. I think the exposure therapy done here, can be self-guided and be successful. EFT can be a sophisticated therapy also, and can also be self-guided; "Therapy (noun): The treatment of disease or of any physical or mental disorder by medical or physical means, usually excluding surgery: often used in compounds [hydrotherapy."

For myself, a therapist doesn't make sense. I no longer need validation (or the expense) of an individual (who is probably not a trauma survivor) as a guide. I view a therapist as a guide. A profit motivated guide.

I benefited from some therapists over the years, true. But I also never knew I had an anxiety disorder until I came here. And this has made all the difference, having a target. It was just some nebulous thing, as to how to progress, and what my expectations should be. This was true of the nine mental health professionals I worked with over the past 20 years.

Clearly, some people want and need the guidance of a therapist. But I don't see the term being limiting as to the kind of work being done. For certain, the exposure therapy I've done here the past 6 months (through sharing) has been the most powerful therapy in my life, to date.

Therapy can, IMHO, be done by one's self, and still be "Therapy".

 

[Tinyflame]

Thank you so much James, I do not have the experience of drawing the comparisons of 'Therapists' but can certainly (for myself) identify moments of healing- chunks even, in and through the same vein. Frequently without my knowledge until after the fact.

I can only say for myself, also, I cannot imagine even trusting a stranger in person to open up like that even when my motivation is 101%.

And yes, I wholeheartedly agree- someone who understands trauma and it's impact on the mind, body, heart and soul- well that is everything, and without it is nothing.

I think you are so right- well, I have found what you have said to be true for myself. I'm 'here' (on this Forum, and the planet in general) because of that and the kindness and understanding of others.
I was just thinking today, 4 years ago I asked for help. For the last 4 years I've been ashamed of it, today for the first time I am so Thankful that I did something right and healthy for myself for once- that was a sane thing to do. I didn't have to feel ashamed to ask- imagine.

And btw, I find your beautiful pics (very) healing too. You show me how beautiful even the 'desert' can be. :)

 

[kers]

Everyone has their own path to healing. If what you are doing is working for you, then keep at it.

 

[James B.]

Appreciate your feedback Junebug.

The question came up because of wondering - is what I do on my own somehow less credible, or less effective because I chose to self-guide? Pete Walker’s article on CPTSD/trauma typology is pretty clear; he mentions grieving as a key component to healing. Something that (for me) is pretty tough to do on cue (in a T’s office) while being observed (studied?).

Watched an interesting video by a guy from India. He has a Phd and talks a lot about traditional Hindu culture and (sometimes metaphysical) ideas; one traditional idea (that is thousands of years old) being: write down your problems, and...ask for help. As simple as it seems, how did I not do this for decades? And how much worse my anxiety disorder and the internal poisoning from unhealed trauma became. Terrible.

Its seems likely there has almost always been Wise people, Gurus, Medicine people, Shamans etc. helping others heal. But I am wondering if people have been helping themselves heal at least as much (if not more) basically on their own (with community support/acceptance) for thousands of years? Medicinal herbs, devout prayer and perhaps other ideas like the (common sense) Hindu thing mentioned above?

It also seems likely that, one possible origin of a credible healer (therapist) might have been, someone in the tribe or community, who healed themselves. And is then sought out by other sufferers. Meaning, the credibility of the healer was known - everyone knew of that persons suffering. Then (though a process) they get better - immediately the community would want to know how. How to make its self stronger, more able to survive and live a less burdened life. It’s instinct.

But the key credibility (as I see it) being - the healer has verifiable first person knowledge - of curing or alleviating their own problem. I bet trauma and (long before the diagnostic term was realized) PTSD are nothing new, right? How did people cope? What happened to them? Has everyone for thousands of years (and I mean before “civilization") suffered the way we have, and are?

Seems like there have been wars and rape and abuse...mostly forever. Has healing this stuff (in the mainstream sense) always been so seemingly complex and ill defined? Is there more stigma now than ever? And are there parts of the planet where more has been known about this than the western world? Honestly, I don’t know, just sharing some thoughts.

And one more thought is this: Have had to acknowledge that in so may ways I am an expert at avoidance. At distracting myself from getting at the root of my problem: the (various kinds of) pain I experienced - in so many ways - as a kid. For me, all the other emotional distortions stem (mostly) from this. Though there may be other minor (more individualized) contributors, as well.

And Junebug, thanks for pictures comment.

Respectfully,
James B.

 

[cherryblossom]

I agree that the work that we do for ourselves can be a vital part of recovery. Whether that is done in conjunction with a therapist is a matter of personal choice. Sometimes we can get stuck without the help of a professional, other times we can find our own way. Also, sometimes it's hard/near impossible to find a therapist that fits right with us. That's just life. But whether its work you do on your own, or guided by a therapist, I don't think it needs a name or a label such as 'in therapy', so long as whatever you are doing is working, and you are moving forward, towards better mental (and/or physical) health.

 

[Iam]

I agree CB. Even when working with a professional in mental health, they are only a "guide". We must do the work ourselves. A good therapist can point out where our thinking is wrong, give us tools to build our self esteem. Things like, make a list of your personal positive attributes and successes. Look for when your thinking is distorted and replace the wrong, negative thoughts with true and positive ones. These are great tools, but we are the ones who have to impliment them if we are to recover. These things can all be found in good books, but you have to be willing to be brutally honest with yourself. Denial is such a big thing, at least for me. I can completely deny the part I play in my own demise. That is when a therapist can really help. That is if you trust him or her and they are compassionate in the way they point things out. Then I have to decide if I am going to accept what they see and act on it to help myself.

I know I switched back and forth from 3rd person to 1st person. Just don't want to put what is true for me onto you.

Good luck in your recovery JB. Remember, the members here are a good sounding board. If you post what you are honestly feeling and thinking there are those here who are willing to point out any distorted thinking. Are you willing to listen and see if it truly applies? Sometimes it will and sometimes it won't, just like with a therapist, but if you are willing to hold the mirror up and take an honest look at yourself then you are truly on your way to healing!

 

[Tinyflame]

James- I wholeheartedly agree. In fact, I read once "David" in the Bible had all the characteristics of ptsd. (-At least we know he made out all-right, lol.) And yes, I think also that that is a very plausible explanation of how "designated healers" may have originated. I also agree with you whole-heartedly: if I can pinpoint what "caused" my ptsd [apart from the trauma(s)], or to put it another way the most 'protective' thing I wonder if anyone could do to prevent ptsd, is to speak about it, to ask for help specifically, no matter how unlikely you feel that help could even possibly exist.

Shame and being-alone-within-a-trauma are killers; I swear to God even the (negative/ unhealthy) things that I did to 'cope' and the after-effects of (those) could have caused ptsd on their own, had I not had it already. It is beyond my grasp to know how I survived- literally, I shouldn't have.

I think that many of the consequences of the ptsd itself unfortunately can only be healed 'within relationship': that is- huge components such as regaining trust and self-esteem, courage, hope etc, -unfortunately are easier "on paper" (for me, anyway), than in the "real world". I can only say, I definitely have absorbed the vicarious courage or hope or clarity of others when I could not find the reason or means to find it within myself.

Yes, I believe that no one actually wants to be unhappy: even a pessimist who was unhappy would end up happy they 'succeeded', lol. Seriously though, JMHO, I realize everyone has their own path, and like Iam and others have said I believe the important thing is also to be honest and to stick with what works for you. And to not give up, and to try to be kind to yourself in the process- to learn instead of battering yourself down more. And specifically for that reason James- yes: I do believe you are the most credible healer, for yourself- you know yourself best. And you can also recognize what, and others' input, that strikes the same chord and brings you healing and strength. And helps you accept yourself more. You're not going to become 'lovable' or 'normal' so to speak when you are 'fixed', you are now, 'as is'.

Thank you very much James, and yes- I really do love your Pics, they do my heart (much) good.