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General Does It Get Better??????

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I am new to feeling the effects of my husband's PTSD. While we believe he has been suffering from it for years it has only been recently that his symptoms are showing outwardly and it hurts to see him suffering and also hurts to be at the effect of it. My husband has changed into a man that, on many days, is impatient, angry, on edge, and irrational at times. I walk on eggshells afraid to say something that is going to hit him the wrong way. PLEASE tell me that this will decrease/end with counseling, emdr, and meds.
 
If I had answered this 18-24 months ago, it would have been one offering little hope after years of depression and PTSD. Then things improved. I don't know why, exactly, so I can't offer a "magic pill" for you. I cannot offer any guarantees, only a little hope that, for some anyway, there can be improvement. Please be aware that I say improvement. PTSD can vary in severity but it is forever.

ISH
 
I have been deal with PTSD since I was about 13, almost 21 years old now you'd think I'd understand PTSD by now. (still losted in my ways) I could see how my issues hurt my girlfriends, I could tell that I was a little off, if he can see he is causing discomfort in the relationship, there is more than hope there is progress, if he doesn't see that he is (and not by he own doing) harming the relationship, he needs to refocus on himself. I agree with "ISupportHer" all the way. The small things do matter, some months or better than others. It is a game, and time is the only player.
 
The short answer is yes, it does get better. I was diagnosed with PTSD many years ago and have made lots of progress over the years even though I still carry the same diagnosis- I was so far gone that I wasn't able to connect with the reality of how far gone I was, it took lots of time. I am much better with connecting with others, managing my emotions and staying present. Counseling and meds help, the meds only help for as long as you take them though. I just started EMDR and hope to make big leaps and bounds with that and I wished I had been able to do that sooner. EMDR is supposed to be life changing in how quick and effective it is, I am glad to hear that your husband will be starting that.
 
Hi, I have ptsd too. I am doing so much better than I was in the beginning. I have done emdr and it changed my life for the better. I am so glad he is going to do emdr. I wish you the best. Take really good care of you and build up your own life. Make it a happy one. I think you will make it. Good luck.
 
Hello Wifewantingtohelp,

Welcome to the forum. I have suffered the effects of PTSD for three decades, I have been in trauma therapy for over seven years, doing EMDR for four to five years (highly dissociative persons are advised to wait two years of therapy before starting) and using mindfulness meditation for three years. The difference to seven years ago is massive, I expect to be in regular therapy another two to three years, possibly longer. I am getting a new life from moving forward with therapy and self growth. I have hope now that I haven't had for nearly two decades. I can see every six months that my symptoms have lessened. I still fall into many of my old patterns but these hold less and less power over myself and my consciousness. I persecute and blame myself less and less for doing this and have much more ability to consciously manage and overcome the symptom clusters that comprise my disorder(s).

Therapy, self awareness, self growth, awareness of symptom clusters -their causes, patterns and consequences all work together to produce an incremental and gradual growth within the individual. Commitment to the therapeutic and self growth process are necessary, as is self study of the disorder, also it is necessary to complete homework. Exercise and hobbies also have a part to play.

Change with PTSD is more than likely to happen, but the process can be very frustrating to start. Symptoms can worsen to begin with will almost certainly reduce with time and commitment. Many persons on this site describe a "three steps forward, two steps back" approach, I really agree with this and this is what I have experienced. Whilst I could see therapy having very good effect it took two and a half years of stabilisation to really get a even half day that was moving towards low levels of symptoms. However after starting EMDR things got a little worse at first, I just accepted this as part of the abreactive process. The difference that EMDR made for me was that progress was much faster and more discernable in a shorter period. By four and five years I was really feeling the difference and dissolving the high levels of symptoms experienced daily.

Avoid expecting too much in too short a time. Review progress annually and you are likely to witness change that is very real and definite, although for many of us it takes a few years to really feel the difference due to the pervasive nature of this disorder. My advice is that there is hope and it is very real.

Best wishes upon yours and your partners journey in healing and growing.
 
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