Have you considered meeting with someone who specializes in natural medicine to see if there are natural alternatives to help the nervous system calm so you can work on healing the other components?
I don't mean the modern take on "what natural medicine is" but rather someone who specializes in nature as medicine.
I could of suggest things to research into "to calm the storm"(so you're not *stuck*) that way but everyone is different, and has their own health conditions/considerations and interactions/side effects can still happen if someone isn't very thorough when researching and frankly that adds more to a plate that is already full (when you could outsource that portion) and feel helped instead.
I often think it's better for me to say there are herbalists,now that offer virtual apnts based on being affordable to others, where it doesn't matter that they are in x state and you are in z state(because the visit is vitrual and they have a sliding scale).
(I have found one very well educated one who makes herself accessible to others both of these ways) and even lets her clients judge for themselves where they are on the sliding scale. Though I'm not sure about the rules when it comes to links or names(like that) but I would be willing to share her info if it is in accordance with site rules.
Other helpful suggestions, are for example looking into the Youtube channel, called "Therapy in a Nutshell", it is a certified therapist, who has many sections explaining why our mind chooses to "use something to cope"(even though it's harmful) in a way that's empathetic and non triggering, and has coping tools for the various things and explinations on why it helps(without it being too extensive/triggering or hard).
Other helpful tools may be things like:
- Somatic Processing as explained by Thias Gibbson of Personal Development School(had her own practice for over a decade), this is essentially using your connection to your body/understanding of the body, and it's sensations to help heal the trauma since you're having a lot of physical sensations. An easier run down is "I am feeling(name emotion, in simple terms)", which is showing up in my body via "name the senations", then "I am going to (do x- healthy coping tool) for it". This helps one get out of the animal part of the brain and into *logic and reasoning*, part. This is what healthy "sitting with the feelings " actually entails.
-Qi gong Yoga(as recomended by a Trauma expert), because the movements mimic those recomended for release of trauma through physical exertion. QiYoga With LuChin, is a lovely free channel that my daughter and I enjoy.
There is also trauma aware Yoga that helps release stored emotions in a healthier way and Somatic Yoga that could be helpful to you(it may also help ground you- meaning get you out of your head and into your body).
I personally like "Somatic Yoga" with Lauren Ikeda(on Yotube) and "Heart" and "Hip" focused trauma informed yoga practices as that's where I "store" a lot of my trauma.
I would recomend nature hikes/nature walks if at all possible and accessible for you, as this is not only movement but nature actually notably lessens anxiety(scientifically).
One can use things like "5-4-3-2-1"(5 things you see, 4 things you touch, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, 1 thing you taste) while out in nature to *get out of your head*.
There is also Headspace meditation app(to guide you through meditation) it's very very affordable now $5 a month, and I find it very helpful as it has different levels, and doesn't feel so "woo woo", as some(if that makes sense) it feels like it activates the part of the brain that is sensible, with reasonable guidance.
I have heard from therapists, once you get the chemical anxiety part handled(via let's say a natural medicine specializing herbalist), then healthy coping tools should be done at least every couple of hours.
Once you get comfortable with "that", there are books that are super helpful to understanding elements of CPTSD but remember that depending on "what you read ", and "how much", one can be *overly triggered", by some works(even those written by well meaning professionals).
I say, listening (2xs a week) for say 20 min a peice while not gnoringing the bodies signs that it *is triggered*, as indication to stop.
* in other words,listen to your body*(to avoid being overly triggered).
Since you are at the very triggered stage of things and very early on in your journey I must stress to not *do this*, til the chemical component is adressed and that rather until the chemical component *is adressed*, adress that/and get used to healthy coping tools.
I personally go for those who mix many parts empathy, with information(when looking for books) and I don't like overly clinical professionals personally, bonus points if they have lovely quotes and share real life examples as if they are "talking about life and talking to me as a person" (and I don't go for self help Gurus) I go for M.Ds and trauma experts.
Since you'd brought in abandonment there's a lovely e-reader/Kindle, version of "The Wound of Abandonment" by Daniel Dofour, M.D. that feels gentle yet ponient(go slow) with this.
Another one that may be healing to you, from what you'd expressed with your mother is "Mother Hunger" by Kelly McDaniel; it's for daughters who find themselves unable to "be with mother", emotionally or otherwise and carry the pain/weight of that and want compassionate help for "carrying that".
real bad. Alcoholism and a history of complex trauma, depression and anxiety. Everyone has their own story. I've been on here for several years and it was crucial in my recovery. I stopped drinking and smoking 4.5 years ago which was a godsend but it happened because I had a heart attack and nearly died.
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. I think many people are not aware of the past, unless they lived through something that shook them. I can understand your anger and it must be triggering. You are brave and kind… yes history, well I sometimes wonder why we have to learn it, if we just keep repeating it. I changed history in my family, just a you are doing with your foster kids. That small change can become a big change in generations to come. Unfortunately, we can’t change stupidity and those responsible for building these jail like schools, well it seems they haven’t or don’t want to understand or see that other ways are possible. We can, because we see it through the eyes of our own childhood in my opinion 
