Relationship Does It Get Easier?

[JennJenn]

The man that I have loved for a over a year now has decided that he can't stand the PTSD symptoms that are brought on by being in a relationship. This was our third shot at a relationship. This was also the first time we knew from the beginning what was going on in our relationship. Why he became anxious and withdrew from. Our relationship ended two weeks ago. The first our relationship ended it tore me apart. We apart for four months and it still was in as much pain in the end as I was in the beginning. People keep saying that time heals all wounds, but I'm really starting to doubt that. I just feel like my pain will continue forever. I miss him so much. I just don't know what to do.

 

[BewitchedBewildered]

I understand... You're not alone.

 

[JuneBug68]

I wish I could say something that would make it easier , please continue to write here and seek support from any one you have to offer it to you... Hugs

 

[JennJenn]

Thank you for the hug. I could really use one right now.

 

[ds112496]

I understand what you are going through because I am going through it too. Having a positive outlook has helped some but the pit in my stomach keeps returning. It's like I can't breathe and just physically hurt. I miss my husband so much, but he has chosen to leave me for someone else.

I am strong, you are strong, we all are strong! Keep the faith.

 

[JennJenn]

Tomorrow I am going to talk to a therapist. My friends are there for me and I really appreciate all the support I receive from here, but I feel like I need someone to talk to besides my friends as well. I hate burdening my friends with my problems. I know they all have so much going on and don't want to hear me talk about my feelings all the time. I am not a very emotional person and this has really brought out that side of me. I really hope talking to her will help me.

 

[Eleanor]

What stuff do you have in your life that is important to you and who you are, that gives meaning to your life? (not him related.)

 

[dimplesg520]

I think that what Eleanor is asking is very important. A lot of times when you are in a relationship, especially one so intense and consuming, it's very easy to lose yourself and your own identity. When you lose that person, you are kind of left floundering, and it makes the emotional pain worse. Find a hobby that you enjoy, or maybe something you did before you two met, and try to get into it again. It won't take the pain away completely, but it can help take your mind off things as much. I also have benefited in the past by going to a therapist. It is a lot easier to talk to a stranger about your problems without feeling like you're burdening your friends, or having to worry about being ashamed with what you're feeling. They can usually also give an outsider's perspective that is helpful and not always possible to see when you're right in the situation yourself.

Good luck with finding a therapist, and maybe think about seeing a psychiatrist if you think you need medical care to get through this situation. There's no shame in using antidepressants/anxiety medications to get through a tough time. It has helped me significantly before. And hang in there. It's hard, but it will get better, and you're not alone. (((hugs)))

 

[nz16]

((((((Hugs)))))) sending you some love. I'm in the same situation. If you ever need to talk to some one I'm here for you xo

 

[we are fated]

Sending hugs to you Jenn x

 

[JennJenn]

(((HUGS)))))

 

[CateM]

I've been in the same position and I oftened wondered if I'd get through it, it seemed like a never-ending black hole and I too was thinking of seeking counselling because I just didn't understand what had happened. I'm not going to say I'm totally fine now, but there is definitely a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.

The only advice I can offer is to stay busy. My relationship consumed me (the first time I've ever let that happen......and the last) and so I had a lot of spare time when it ended. Instead of going stir crazy, I started tennis lessons, singing lessons, meeting everyone under the sun for dinner and coffee. I set myself challenges such as running a 10k race (I hate running), trying out ballet lessons..... It actually got to the point where I was constantly busy and pretty knackered, but at least I wasn't at home thinking 'what on earth went wrong' and tying myself in knots, plus falling asleep was much easier. If you're spending time with people you feel ever so slightly less alone and if you don't know them you've no opportunity to vent which can sometimes be a good thing.

The age-old adage that it takes time is unfortunately true, but I found that being proactive in this time can take your mind off things - even if it's only for an hour a day it's a blessed relief when it feels like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Wishing you well x