Relationship Does Logic Disappear With Ptsd ?

[horizons]

I saw my partner the other night and realized how much this latest trigger has affected him. He stated he is unhappy and simply doesn't know what he wants. He has incredible anger and stated he has no fuse. He commented that several times he had thought of ending it all because he can't cope with his head.

He was triggered a few weeks ago by an incident he attended. His work is full of politics where betrayal, accusations and harassment are a part of daily life. Yet he chose to leave me and our business and focus fully on this work situation. Perhaps trying to control something which he knows (at rational level) cannot be controlled as it's all part of the organisation's system.

How is it that someone can KNOW what triggered him, and KNOW an atmosphere of conflict and anger is damaging, yet continue to stay there. The payback is nothing but frustration and anger, the cost is that he's sleeping in his car and at friend's places and has left me and a reputable small business. He refuses to return home, saying he "doesn't know what he wants".
How can someone choose to live in a car and choose a job over a relationship and genuine friends?

Does logic totally disappear with ptsd ? This time is so much worse than 18 months ago. I am frightened that he will remain like this. I've suggested help, offered space if he comes home but to no avail. Last night I woke up crying. How can someone usually so logical be sleeping in his car thinking life is horrible when he has so many genuine friends and a loving home to come to?

 

[wife of]

Just wanted to say Hi and hold your hand a while.

I have no answer to this other than from my own story which has a similar point within it.

Hubs was certainly aiming at one point to leave a completely supportive home life and friends to do such a thing as sleeping rough out of the car in the middle of winter.

The only reason this didn't happen for him was the fact that he had a full on mental breakdown before finishing packing the car.

 

[Navy Spouse]

That is a good question. I have wondered the same thing. My husband left our home almost 6 months ago. Not to live in a car but he's renting an apartment. It has become a terrible financial burden and still he will not come home to where he's loved and needed. Not only do I wonder about logic, in my case it seems selfish also.

horizons, I know what it feels like to wake up crying. I went through that when he first left. I hope your husband will come home, how awful to live like that when you don't have to. Take Care

 

[Innordinate]

Maybe it's logical for him to live like that.

Alone.

 

[Heather]

Unfortunately that is what PTSD does to people. It makes them push away the very one's that love them.

I'm sorry horizons that you are dealing with this but you can't control your husband and his choice is his choice, whether it's to live at home or in his car.

You need to focus on you and taking care of yourself.

Peace and hugs. Heather