General Does this sound like PTSD, please help

[ruskin]

I'm sure someone else will have some thoughts - but for me, avoiding isn't something I could just give up. It's harder to give up avoiding than it is to give up cigarettes. For me, anyway.

yes, it is like a defeatist attitude, not what i might have expected

 

[Kubash16]

I know I avoid certain situations and places and people. I wouldn’t be able to just give them up, it’s so ingrained in me to just stay the hell away.

Hypervigilance I’m still learning for myself. I know I always know where exits are, where people are, what potential scenarios can happen and already planning out what to do in each scenario.

 

[ruskin]

I know I avoid certain situations and places and people. I wouldn’t be able to just give them up, it’s so ingrained in me to just stay the hell away.

Hypervigilance I’m still learning for myself. I know I always know where exits are, where people are, what potential scenarios can happen and already planning out what to do in each scenario.

I see, thanks for sharing... someone once said to me about what i had gone through in the home to watch out for CPtsd in myself. prob that would not be the case, but i know i scored moderate to severe depression (by a relatively respected online tool). guess that is one for me to look at

 

[Kubash16]

I see, thanks for sharing... someone once said to me about what i had gone through in the home to watch out for CPtsd in myself. prob that would not be the case, but i know i scored moderate to severe depression (by a relatively respected online tool). guess that is one for me to look at

Depression and CPTSD have some significant differences. Do you feel like you’ve had any issues with your list yourself?

 

[ruskin]

Depression and CPTSD have some significant differences. Do you feel like you’ve had any issues with your list yourself?

I would say, i have noted hypervigilence (around any interaction with my W) anxiousness and thats about it.

 

[ruskin]

poor concentration, tiredness,

 

[Kubash16]

I would say, i have noted hypervigilence (around any interaction with my W) anxiousness and thats about it.

Good cause you don’t want it that’s for sure. But I would definitely look into getting into therapy yourself like suggested before because the sooner you get on top of any issues the better.

 

[ruskin]

Good cause you don’t want it that’s for sure. But I would definitely look into getting into therapy yourself like suggested before because the sooner you get on top of any issues the better.

Thanks Kubash, you are 100% right, i do know a nearby organisation to me that can help (i've discussed my situation with them with view to help for my W - and they have offered that i come along to a setting boundaries course and group support evenings ) always a start :) thanks

 

[SamRuck]

You might consider dissociative identity disorder. It's often misdiagnosed because it encapsulates so many other mental health issues including ptsd, and your wife definitely meets some of the hallmark requirements like abuse/trauma at an early age in childhood even though her own issues seem rather mild: but so were my wife's until we started on this journey.

 

[ruskin]

You might consider dissociative identity disorder. It's often misdiagnosed because it encapsulates so many other mental health issues including ptsd, and your wife definitely meets some of the hallmark requirements like abuse/trauma at an early age in childhood even though her own issues seem rather mild: but so were my wife's until we started on this journey.

Hi Sam Ruck it is funny you say this, last week i spoke to a therapist about my wife. (looking to get help for her) she listened to my story and asked me to go away and think about DID. I just did that this morning and i just wrote a reply to her (the therapist). I will paste this into this email as i tried to look at her moods and see if i could see anything, email, censored below
thank you

 

[ruskin]

You might consider dissociative identity disorder. .

Hello xxxxxxx

I gave thought to one of the points you mentioned on Wednesday. DID, now before you mentioned it, I had briefly heard of the term but did not know much of it.

After reading about it and watching a few online video clips I thought to mention a few things that I have seen. This information could well be irrelevant and that I may never be in the position to pass info on for My wife’s help. Also I realise that I should not make behaviours or actions fit any condition and rather comment how I have seen things. What complicates things further is My wife generally is not trusting so she rarely ever comments on her moods or what she is thinking about. My wife also has always found it very difficult to express or interpret her moods, this became evident early on in the marriage and also was highlighted when My wife went to CBT for the ptsd, a few of the appointments which I accompanied her on.

Right from the start, when unusual moods became evident I used to think of My wife as a “Jeckyle and Hyde” character. My apologies in such a crude analogy but she has always fluctuated from what appeared to be a relatively sweet kind able person to a raging angry abusive person… Now when I give more thought to the situation I have seen My wife in many different states.

I guess these states are just moods, everyone is entitled to show different moods, but I will list some of them below. Also the most common mood is probably a bit different to how I perceived her when I first met her.

The Most common mood: My wife appears calm, depressed, generally of low energy, not too communicative, gets on with things/daily life. Not very social. Just getting by. Quiet person.

The anger or rage mood: My wife is very loud and roughly spoken in this state, her behaviour is very different, she is loud, threatening, says the most amazing things that could be perceived as totally out of character. For example when she was talking of her wish to get pregnant (via ivf) , she said something like “you are actually nothing more than a sperm donor” it was said in such a rough aggressive manor. She will laugh heartedly at me, ridicule, insult be a generally nasty person…..

The Post rage mood: This mood can be kept up for ages, days weeks, months. Generally it is a no communication mood with me, but she still functions quite well, goes out to work and communicates just fine with her work colleagues. There is an element of punishing me in this mood and it may be a continuation of the above mood or perhaps not. When she is relaxed (fed and watching tv) this mood can slip off and she can be be quite social with me for a brief period, but if she remembers she is angry with me or remembers that she should not be talking to me the guard can go back up. Even if the guard has come down, the next day would normally start back at the same point – guarded and perhaps late evening when the day is nearly over it may slip…

The extravert mood: On occasions my W can be a right extravert, planning big socials , inviting lots of people round for a bbq. She can be extremely happy, outgoing laughing and joking socially with the group. She can also be quite creative and has a whole load of hobbies that she has thrown herself into at different times, they tend to be taken very seriously. My wife also has a reputation for taking far far too much on at times, to the point that the hobby becomes a burden, verging on a unhappy burden. The burden of all the things that get taken on can affect her mood negatively and in one case ( a business she set up – consumed all her time, my time and our money)

The Child mood: I am sure I have seen my wife acting like a young child but I just cannot quite put my finger on it. If I though hard I could maybe remember more……… I get the feeling she was very warm and just loved cuddles in this mood. I am sure she would even talk like a child at times – but she does sometimes do that type of thing, for example in a normal mood she may articulate words and connversations from our pets to me (so she is speaking for them) – I don’t think there is anything strange in this – she is just being a bit cute and fun…. But there may be something in the child part or maybe not..

Happy Mood: My wife watches a lot of TV, she generally can lose herself with the TV for many many hours at a time. Sometimes even when things are quite bad for her otherwise, she can just watch things on TV and laugh her head off with it. Almost seems out of place given the greater circumstances or the low general mood.. I guess this is just happiness good she can have this!

A side point: Generally My wife can be quiet child like and childish, she is normally very rellient on me. It has to me almost felt like a father daughter relationship rather than a huband wife. My wife is I guess quite a vulnerable adult.


Other moods:
There is rare instances when she has been very passionate, I have seen this very rarely and it does feel (to me) very out of character for her.

Other points

Through her cbt for the ptsd it was brought to My wife’s attention that she dissociates – I remember you mentioned that is normal with ptsd
( I believe My wife’s therapist in 2015 did some work with disassociation and trying to get My wife to tell her inner child that she was safe. She in 2015 was the mother for the inner child – I guess this was just routine)
I am not sure if she still does that, I have heard her mention it rarely in the past 2 years.
I have not really heard My wife saying she is forgetful or has amnesia – I know (now) that is common in DID. (she does seem to forget some things I say to her however. I can say something one evening and then another day I go to talk about it and she does not remember – but then again we all forget, I forget stuff so it doesn’t sound out of the ordinary)
My wife does however really struggle to achieve much in the hours of the day, this causes problems as she is trying to study part time as well as the other things in her life, it’s like why is she getting so little done in her day? – Disassociation?

I think that is all I can say on the subject from what I have seen, but as I mentioned My wife does not really trsut me with her thoughts and worries and what she experiences.


Many thanks

 

[EveHarrington]

Please think twice before bringing a child into this world with this woman. Yes, there is the unstable factor (which is huge), but given her nasty sperm donor comments, I wouldn’t put it past her to use the child against you and make your life a living hell.