Don't Care Any More

[Deleted member 12723]

How are you doing Sammy? Just checking in to make sure you are ok. I hope things have stabalized for you and that you are getting some relief from everything getting you down Hang in there. Big hug!:)

 

[Sammy]

Thanks for asking. I am with my family - my father is dying and we have been sitting vigil, keeping him comfortable and reminiscing. Today I saw one of my brothers for the first time in 17 years. It is good to see him even if the circumstances are rotten. Other brothers rolling in over the weekend.

Dad hasn't eaten since Monday and we don't think he'll last the weekend. It has been hard to watch him suffer so. Took some fighting but we managed to get meds to control the pain for him. New we wait. I seem to be going in and out of dissociation as I can handle the situation. Not thinking about the divorce at all. I'll deal with that when I get home.

I am not great. But, lots of meds... I'll get through.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Hi Sammy, so sad that you are with your father who is dying. You sure have a full plate. Glad that you have family around you. Glad that you have enough meds.

Take good care of yourself as you go thru this experience.

 

[Tinyflame]

I'm sorry Sammy. :(
I hope you can post here if it helps.

 

[Sammy]

My Dad died today. I spent most of last night watching him breathe and trying to keep him comfortable. I wasn't there when he passed because I was finally getting some sleep. My family is already making me insane. I'd say I can't wait to go home but I have divorce waiting for me there. Want to disappear.

 

[712xx]

Don't Disappear (((Sammy))) :( I'm so sorry for your loss.

--{@ --{@ --{@ --{@ --{@ --{@ --{@ --{@

I'd send you a bouquet of hugs and a soft handkerchief if I could.

 

[amethist]

So sorry to hear that Sammy.

​

 

[ronnalee]

Want to disappear.

So sorry to hear Sammy. Take care. We care.

(((HUGS)))

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

(((Sammy)))I'm so sorry your father has passed away! It is understandable that your feelings and thoughts are revolving around death. The waiting, after awhile, would drive anyone nuts, at least while it's happening.

I've been shocked, as an adult, what happens to people when a parent dies. That alone is very depressing. People tend to show their 'real' selves.

The idea of B-Complex vitamin is good, cuz eating during the vigil is very irratic. Taking care of yourself in some ways can help as you move through this struggle, as well as the one facing you at home.

Blessings to you, and peace, one day at a time.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I'm so sad for you Sammy, I hope you remember to eat regular meals. i hope you will be ok as you go thru this. You are normal for what you are going thru. It will get better with time.

Sorry your family is making you crazy. You will be busy for awhile. Please take good care of yourself. If you aren't ok nothing will be ok.

One day at a time is right on. Remember to breathe. Big hug.

 

[Sammy]

Haven't been eating much at all - just not hungry. Family members are sick with some bug and I am just praying I don't get it. People get so stupid about the "stuff" and the who "gets" what. makes me crazy. My brother that terrorized me as a kid has been around and it has been difficult. I have done my best to simply avoid him. I came close to really laying into him but there were too many kids around that don't need too see it. I just want to go home but at home is divorce. The internment in Friday so I need to make flight plans for after that. That is tomorrow morning's project, if I am not driving someone to an acute care clinic. I have been so busy taking care of everyone else, there is little time for me. I have been snarled at by a couple of family members with issues of their own. Trying to not take it personally but they are not the only ones suffering a loss. As a plus, I got to reconnect with the brother closest to me - that was a true gift. The two of us sat vigil with our father his last night. Over Dad's last days, we saw things no one should have to watch a family member suffer through. Damn medical community. I will be having nightmares over this.

It has been a hellish week. I feel myself disconnecting and I really don't care. Life hurts too much right now.

 

[intothelight]

Sammy,

I am sorry hear of your father's passing. Please take care of yourself.

(((Hugs)))

Deb