Sufferer Don't Know What To Shop

[Aloneinfear]

My name is Sam, I am 33 years old. On November 4, I was robbed in the parking lot at my job. I was going to the bank to make a deposit and he came from behind the bushes, walking casually toward me. I didn't think much of it but still sensed something wrong. As I turned to get into my car he ran up to me and grabbed my purse from behind, knocking me down. I screamed. There were people sitting in their cars but no one helped me. I'm so afraid. They took all my personal information. I don't feel safe at work anymore. I've become paranoid. The owner got a security guard for 5 days only and won't take extra security measures. He says he is but nothing is being done yet.
Why does everything bad happen to me? Everything that can go wrong has happened to me. I have been molested and raped as a child, grew up without a father nor with any father figures, I've almost drowned a couple of times, I've been in bad car accidents, had my house broken into, had my car stolen, I've been in abusive relationships, I've had my house burn down and lost everything, I've lost 3 pregnancies in the past two years, and now this. Yes I lived through all this and I'm thankful because there are still people that I need to care for, my son. He's the only thing that is keeping me sane.
I'm pretty smart, I have a degree, I know reality, but sometimes you just had enough and can't cope anymore. I think I'm there.

 

[Mosaic]

Sorry to hear that, it sounds awful! I think a lot of people on here have felt "why me" including myself. I've often felt there must be a target on my back or a curse or I was someone really terrible in a past life to deserve it all.
But we are moulded by everything good and bad that happens to us and are all products of our environment. You are strong and determined because you know what it is to feel weak and hopeless.
The strongest burdens are placed on the shoulders of those who can bare their weight.

Sending love x

 

[kona355]

Your son is giving you strength, though it may not feel that way. Mosaic is right, you are strong. The evidence is you found this site and shared with others. That takes courage, in itself.

 

[Ghostybear73]

Welcome to the forum!!

 

[intothelight]

@Aloneinfear Welcome to the forum!

Sometimes there is that one event that triggers the PTSD response and makes everything come to the surface. Have you had a chance to get counseling? A trauma therapist can really help a person on the road to recovery. This site can also be a huge source of information and support as you work on your healing.