Drinking To Feel

[Anna]

I think it is everything in moderation.

I enjoy a beer or two. I also sleep good after a couple of shots of vodka, but you have to know your limit. If I drink too much I feel sick the next day and start to get really depressed or do stupid things.

Also I have found since I drink spirits, and in moderation it helps to keep colds at bay. It is everything in moderation and as long as you have it under control.

 

[71nothing]

I seem to be coming down off another "binge" of sorts. I'm working to identify when I'm drinking destructively versus drinking in just a socially acceptable way. I can identify it fairly well. Before I have a drink I am trying to be more careful of my current state of mind and my surroundings. Hopefully this will help me to not drink for the sole purpose of dealing with feelings or in using alcohol as a means to feel.

 

[Rumors]

Hang in there 71! I hope you can garner a better understanding of your feelings and how to keep the binge drinking at bay. Sometimes it seems like it helps but usually only for a short time!

 

[71nothing]

Thanks! There are times I can go out and have a drink or two with no issues or need to continue drinking. You're right though, sometimes it makes the depression, numbing, and dissociation much worse.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am sober. It was becoming a source of grief for me. I would make telephone calls and talk about things I would not sober. It was causing problems for me. I ended up drinking wine all day. It was making me feel lousy.

I still want to drink but I do not. I was acting so foolishly while I was drinking. I no longer have those kinds of problems anymore and I feel so much healthier.

It made me feel alive. I had no inhibitions. I was so outgoing and friendly.

 

[reckoner]

Drinking to feel? I suppose that's when you surpass the point of drinking NOT to feel. I suppose this is when you become reliant on a substance such as alcohol to allow you to function as a "normal" human being... because "normal" human beings feel things. I get it.

 

[71nothing]

I suppose you're right reckoner. When I started drinking I was in high school, I was basically a non-existent zombie...completely dissociated from anything. Alcohol allowed me to come out of that state because it lowered my inhibitions or the proverbial wall I had built around myself. I then realized when I was drunk I could actually feel...not good things necessarily, but I guess you're right to say it made me feel human.

I am grateful I do not drink to the extent I did for several years and its only the last few years I've been drinking again. It does help me process feelings sometimes and sometimes it numbs me. I'm very careful to not say anything or call anyone I will regret in the morning as that was a problem in the past.

 

[Britt.f7]

I use to drink before any anxiety provoking gathering I had with family. Trying not to anymore. I do have anti anxiety medicine to take the edge off, but usually forget to take it.

One time I went totally drunk to a family gathering. I remember telling myself not to act too out of the normal. Not sure if they guessed or not, no one said anything. I do know I'm the last person they would think would do something like that.

 

[71nothing]

I'm thinking tonight that I am remembering how this all started. I went out drinking with friends at a bar which I haven't done in years. I drank more than I have in a very long time. I drank so much that i went from giddy and carefree to physically numb and emotionally blank. Now I'm coming off it and the depression is setting in. It's been forever since I drank myself into depression. I remember now though... This is how I make myself feel and process things. This is just how I do it. I don't like feeling depressed though so I'm not sure why I chose to drink myself into this state. I need to just go to bed and sleep this off.

I need to remember to not put myself in this situation again. When I was out I suddenly was at a point where I couldn't stop drinking. I lost control which is the scariest state for me to be in.

 

[JustBe]

I can only drink when I feel safe. I need to stay in control and alcohol makes me feel fuzzy. The only time I've had any alcohol in many years has been a glass of wine with my Mom at dinner while visiting them. Once I had a second glass but didn't like the way it made me feel.

 

[Britt.f7]

A couple glasses of wine no longer effect me but I refuse to drink more to get the buzz I use to feel. Depression is my hangover. Not worth it.

 

[JadedGhost13]

I have spent the past 5 years drinking, heavily! In December, I stopped! I started realizing that I had a problem. My dad has damaged his liver from years of drinking I have had to see what it has done to him.

I liked to drink alone, It drowned out the pain. I loved nothing more than to start a fire in the pit and put my cooler next to me and just drink, and drink alone. When others were present and I was drinking I just listened to the conversation. For me drinking did not make me friendly, and I never seemed to be able to get drunk, just numb and I am talking about drinking a LOT, 24-30 beers and I would not be drunk, just numb.

I realized how much money I was spending on drinking and what I was doing to myself and I just stopped. Since then I have had 2 drinks. I have had two margaritas at a eating establishment on two different occasions.

I feel better physically, not so much mentally, but physically I am much better. When I was drinking, I did not get anything done at all. I still do not get a lot done, but I do get some things done. More than before. I have lost weight and I do not feel bloated.

There is tons of things to drink in my house, theres at least 10 beers in the fridge and several bottles of booze in the cabinet, but I have no interest. I do still cook with Jack Daniels because I have some awesome recipes that call for bourbon, but I do not drink the stuff. So now I just offer it to my friends when they come to visit and when it is gone I have no plans to purchase anymore except for what I cook with and what my husband drinks. He enjoys Gentleman Jack and coke and I will not deny him that pleasure he enjoys. And it takes him months to drink a bottle of gentleman so he does not have a problem. I will also keep cheap gallons of wine around because I use it as a marinade for beef and pork.