For the past 3 yrs, I have stayed in bed 20 hours a day except maybe once a week. There are other reasons than loneliness that have caused this, and i have assumed that to be the case.
Next week, I am going to the beach with my husband and dog. I have been in a panic state. Not sure why. My dog is old and its my fear of him dying is why the have made special arrangements to take him with us.
My physical condition has been been getting worse by the week. I had a dr appt last week to get a referral to a neurologist. My husband had me cancel at last minute because he needed a ride. That was the beginning of hopelessness for me.
I am so sick that I isolate. I have many things wrong with me, but symptoms of MS have worsened. I am tired all the time and have numbness. I can't adequately care for my home anymore, and can't care for myself some of the time.
I explained this to my husband tonight, and basically he said he doesn't give a damn. I think he wants me for a tax write off, a bit of a maid, etc. but expects little from me and doesn't expect me to live long. I have been feeling so damn lonely for so damn long that I never even considered what he thought about the situation.
We never had the same life goals or dreams. He is such an ass that he is 62 yr old and waiting to retire...in 2 yrs....for what? He has never had any plans.
His need to be private has robbed him of a life of happiness and connection, and clearly I have allowed that as well. What is the point in going on!
Next week, I am going to the beach with my husband and dog. I have been in a panic state. Not sure why. My dog is old and its my fear of him dying is why the have made special arrangements to take him with us.
My physical condition has been been getting worse by the week. I had a dr appt last week to get a referral to a neurologist. My husband had me cancel at last minute because he needed a ride. That was the beginning of hopelessness for me.
I am so sick that I isolate. I have many things wrong with me, but symptoms of MS have worsened. I am tired all the time and have numbness. I can't adequately care for my home anymore, and can't care for myself some of the time.
I explained this to my husband tonight, and basically he said he doesn't give a damn. I think he wants me for a tax write off, a bit of a maid, etc. but expects little from me and doesn't expect me to live long. I have been feeling so damn lonely for so damn long that I never even considered what he thought about the situation.
We never had the same life goals or dreams. He is such an ass that he is 62 yr old and waiting to retire...in 2 yrs....for what? He has never had any plans.
His need to be private has robbed him of a life of happiness and connection, and clearly I have allowed that as well. What is the point in going on!