It's such a horrible feeling and not only do I get to feel it, but so do my parts. All in a variety of ages. It's the feeling of no control. The walls of the room seem to be nothing but mush and with the dissociation I feel like I'm in my own world. Coming out of that sucks. I have skills, tools, and years of therapy but nothing touches it. I refuse to medicate myself more (with permission) because all that does is numbs everything, goes away only to return later. I just don't get how people do it. The trauma work, home and work work. I've yet to find anything soothing....