Childhood Early Attachment Problems

[Kintsugi]

My T says she thinks I have serious early childhood attachment problems. What the hell does that really mean?

I read up a bit on it (just Wikipedia and a couple articles), and I'm wondering if any of you can guess which attachment pattern fits yours.

It's hard for me to accept this idea. I'm not really sure what it means and what it says about my healing.

I think I fit into the avoidant category, but I don't know. I'll have to follow up on this with my T, but I wanted some feedback on what this problem (early attachment) means to you and if you think you know your pattern.

 

[sun seeker]

I'm wondering if any of you can guess which attachment pattern fits yours.

Anxious.

 

[watundah]

Also avoidant...dissociative, numbing, keep folks at arms length.

 

[Chava]

Disorganized and avoidant. It's a pretty big deal for me. I've had almost zero significant relationships. I'm a really nice person. I just don't connect well at all. I can do the colleague thing pretty well. That's about my limit. We don't talk about it much but I'm pretty sure the disorganized bit is showing up in my somatic therapy. I don't have any good memories of my mom. Just scary ones or the feeling of trying to not be. The confusion now is how that feels "real" to me and connecting with others feels unreal.

 

[falling_wave]

I have an anxious attachment style for sure. Just to clarify there are attachment styles and attachment disorders
Attachment disorders are in the trauma and stressor related category in the dsm5. They are reactive attachment disorder and socially disinhibited attachment disorder. I think many of us struggle with attachment difficulties just based on ptsd alone though. They do often co-occur.

 

[Recovery4Me]

Learning self-care, boundaries, trusting again, slowing the inner critic, nurturing the inner child and a stronger affirming self image were some of the patterns that I needed to learn inorder to over come that Family of Origin (FOO) concern.

 

[anonymous]

PTSD aside, you're adopted, so not surprising in the least. The adoptive population is at a much higher risk for attachment issues than others. There are plenty of therapists who deal with attachment issues in adopted children.

There used to be an attachment disorder forum a number of years ago, but unfortunately its gone under. Sad because there are so few resources for this issue IN ADULTS online. Attachment is seen mainly as a childhood disorder at this time, unfortunately. But the sad thing is that its really in its infancy, so there is an entire generation (ok, more like 2 1/2 generations) of adults who deal with ongoing attachment issues who were never treated as children, yet have grown up with these problems....because as we're all too aware, psychiatric/mental issues rarely disappear once someone turns 18.

I haven't been diagnosed with an attachment disorder.....not officially, but I am suspected of having one. Its hard to find therapists who deal with this issue. Harder than finding a trauma therapist, I suspect. I bounce between dismissive-avoidant and fearful-avoidant.....not surprisingly as my thoughts about others is generally negative ie sociability (per Wikipedia) but my self perception vacillates between negative to positive.

 

[ihateusernames]

I don't know much about this stuff except as it relates to parenting and "attachment parenting." So based solely on what I've read just tonight I can easily place myself in the disorganized/fearful category. But I don't know if I would accept that I have an attachment disorder created in very early childhood. I just don't know. It's quite likely that my mother was depressed when I was an infant, it seems to run strongly in my family, and my second primary caregiver would have been my grandmother, who was my daytime caregiver, definitely not my father, and I was removed from her at the age of 2. But I am also fairly certain that my mother did not become the unpredictable, chaotic, whatever that she was until several years later. So disorganized fits the bill, but I believe it's probably for different reasons.

 

[Fadeaway]

I have read Healing Developmental Trauma but the book seems to give one extreme or the other for every type. I feel that I fall under The connection survival style, but neither of the sub-types.

For a portion of my like I was raised by someone diagnosed wit reactive attachment disorder. I think that might have to do with it. I think i had my natural reactions plus learned behavior.

 

[Tanishq]

Do you fear attachment Simon?

I do have attachment issues, but somehow I am resolving them. Attachment, to me, it is like clinging over something out of fear.

 

[garden]

My attachment style as a child was avoidant/disorganized. I did not feel secure or happy in my mothers presence. I saw some charts that seem to predict or at least they theorize that having negative attachment styles as a child may lead to negative attachment styles once you've grown and become a parent yourself (with your own child). I'm happy to say that I somehow overcame that because my daughter displays signs of secure attachment around both me and my husband. I see this as an example of healing. :)

 

[ihateusernames]

Me, too @Lewa! I get what probably appears to be overly excited that my son is so well adjusted and secure. I just knew we'd f*ck him up because we didn't know anything else.