Other Over-attachment to "things" (objects, belongings, clothes, furniture, etc)

[Ecdysis]

I'm currently moving house (to a smaller place) so I'm having to go through all my belongings and work out what to keep/ not to keep.

I'm starting to realise that when I was younger I was really over-attached to things (belongings).

I think part of it was having no healthy emotional attachments in my family, so attachments to things like books, clothes, furniture, belonging, was partly a substitute for that.

Also, I think I had things that I thought would help "keep me safe".

And I think I had a lot of things "just in case" because I would never know what might happen next/ what might be expected of me/ what threat I'd have to respond to - so having "everything" on hand, to help me deal with "whatever" seemed important.

Part of that was also being subjected to so many unrealistic expecations, I felt like I needed things on hand to fulfil the roles that were being expected of me, even if those things weren't authentic to who I was.

There's so many layers to it. Also, going through extreme poverty in the 2nd half of my childhood where there was never enough of anything and some basic essentials were just not available at all - left me clinging to things later in life, when I could afford to buy them myself.

I'm noticing now tho, that (even though I'm going through a godawful phase atm) it feels like overall my C-PTSD healing has progressed to a point where I don't feel the need to "cling" to those things anymore and they're starting to feel more like a random/ unnecessary burden and that I can start letting go of them.

I'm trying to make a list of what actually *are* positive essentials in my life now... And wondering whether I can throw away/ donate/ sell everything else...?

 

[arfie]

There's so many layers to it.

amen to the complexity of those many layers. i'm on the opposite end of the hoarding spectrum. one of my most used community services is, "throwaway nazi" where i go into homes and nonprofit organizations who have been hoarding for incredible lengths of time. some of those hoards are multi-generational. the great common denominator i believe i have seen with all of these landfill monuments is denial. "i'll think about it tomorrow."

 

[Sideways]

I’ve been homeless, and I know that for a lot of people, that experience makes them cling to things once they get back on their feet, because they know what it’s like to not have the things you need.

I’m the exact opposite. I’m not at all sentimental about ‘things’, and know that I can do without very comfortably. If I have something that I’m not using, it goes to charity.

 

[OM_™]

I'm currently moving house (to a smaller place) so I'm having to go through all my belongings and work out what to keep/ not to keep.

I'm starting to realise that when I was younger I was really over-attached to things (belongings).

I think part of it was having no healthy emotional attachments in my family, so attachments to things like books, clothes, furniture, belonging, was partly a substitute for that.

Also, I think I had things that I thought would help "keep me safe".

And I think I had a lot of things "just in case" because I would never know what might happen next/ what might be expected of me/ what threat I'd have to respond to - so having "everything" on hand, to help me deal with "whatever" seemed important.

Part of that was also being subjected to so many unrealistic expecations, I felt like I needed things on hand to fulfil the roles that were being expected of me, even if those things weren't authentic to who I was.

There's so many layers to it. Also, going through extreme poverty in the 2nd half of my childhood where there was never enough of anything and some basic essentials were just not available at all - left me clinging to things later in life, when I could afford to buy them myself.

I'm noticing now tho, that (even though I'm going through a godawful phase atm) it feels like overall my C-PTSD healing has progressed to a point where I don't feel the need to "cling" to those things anymore and they're starting to feel more like a random/ unnecessary burden and that I can start letting go of them.

I'm trying to make a list of what actually *are* positive essentials in my life now... And wondering whether I can throw away/ donate/ sell everything else...?

I’m feeling anxious just adding to this conversation. I have three garages full of stuff and an office that I haven’t gone to since the pandemic. C-PTSD, MDD from CSA, family violence; medical trauma from being asked to turn off my 7-day old child’s life support (he survived and is 31yo now); financial trauma of losing $230K etc etc. I need my stuff to keep me safe. People are horrible!

 

[Ecdysis]

I'm about to head up to the attic for another few hours of sorting through stuff and getting rid of stuff.

It's really starting to sink in, how much I was bonded/ attached to "things" because I wasn't bonded or attached to my family.

Seeing such deep patterns start to shift is giving me some hope and encouragement that other, equally deep patterns, migth be able to be shifted too.