Emdr Extreme Disasociation, Please Feel Free To Advise

[lighteningdarkness]

LizardViolet, am trying to think of how to explain. When I think of the memory, it's just that, a memory. I'm not reliving it, it doesn't make me physically feel as I did when the event was happening any more, and I feel safe in the present when thinking about it.

It has emotion linked to it, but the rawness and sharpness has gone, and the emotion is more in keeping with what is 'normal'. Erm, like I don't feel overwhelming guilt and shame so much, more sadness and angry that it happened. But these emotions are at a manageable level.

I guess I don't get the heart stopping disabling fear when I think of it (or when it comes back to me unexpectedly through a trigger). Hope this helps.

 

[LizardViolet]

Thanks for reporting back in such excellent detail, Lightanddarkness.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am doing emdr and I am not experiencing any bad side affects. It is taking the stings out of the traumatic memories. She is very good about grounding me afterward. She checks to see how I am doing. I was so afraid to try it before, but it is helping me alot.

Some people cannot do emdr. It retraumatizes them. There is thread on that around here, but I forgot where it was.

For me I find it very helpful. The one thing it is not doing is helping me to reduce the anxiety I have been feeling yet. I sure hope it can do this for me. I wish you the best. Sounds like you need to research more on this if you are having problems with it. Big cyber hugs.

 

[JasmineDog]

After reading some of these posts, I feel extremely lucky to have had the EMDR experience I did.

I knew nothing about it when I found my therapist, just had reached a desperate place and looked for a PTSD counselor. Her explanation of how it worked made complete sense to me, so I went with it. After only one session, I felt CALM for the first time in 40 years. In total I had about 10 sessions, and while after each one I was drained and needed rest, there was always a distinct improvement. Never as drastic as after the first session, but always better.

My therapist told me that coming in in a nervous state was a preferable start, because it seemed to exacerbate the process. I don't know if it would make a difference to anyone, but just like any therapy experience, some therapists are better than others at what they do.

I had many different talk therapists, some of whom were just not good at it. Others helped for short term, but knowing what I know now, couldn't have helped me permanently no matter how good they were.

My EMDR involved the hand held buzzers rather than the eye-movement. To break down into layman's terms for anyone new or skeptical, when there is a trauma memory it is stored in the "emotional" side of the brain, and while you are re-living that memory, the alternate left/right vibrations are a distraction/interruption sending the memories to the "logical" side.

My therapist explained the "after" feeling as being an audience member at an Oprah show listening to someone on-stage recount their story- feeling sympathy for that poor person who suffered the trauma, but not being affected by it yourself. I felt this was a great analogy.

I am over a year healthy now, and am grateful every day that I found the woman who treated me.

My daughter met someone away at school who was getting suicidal after being put on meds for anxiety - had been diagnosed as a child with ADHD and been on Ritalin for that, and when I met him it was apparent immediately that he was PTSD, so we flew him here for a month to see our therapist, and he is a changed person. He feels like he is alive for the first time in his adulthood, after spending 15 years "coping" he is now "experiencing". He was never ADHD, just misunderstood.

It is understandable that people are suspicious, because it seems like a strange procedure, but when you think about how REM sleep is the only way your body and mind can truly rest and recover, it is completely understandable.

 

[lighteningdarkness]

JasmineDog, that's a great explanation of EMDR and so glad you had such a positive experience and are in such a good place now - also that you are spreading the word!

Thanks Gizmo, weird but the anxiety is the first thing I have found to go. That hyper tension that makes me jump when there's a noise or someone walks into the room or too close to me. I guess it depends on our experience and what we found most traumatic about it, perhaps?

It's been really positive for me now. The processing goes on for a while after the session, including into the next day so it's useful not to be working. The 'sting' is gone but it's raised a whole load of other emotions and that's what's causing most issue now. I have also been working much harder myself on grounding and the safe place which has been beneficial.

 

[trystorm]

hello all,
I am a new member here and very interested in finding out a bit more about EMDR. I am a bit worried after reading about being retraumatized. I should say that I am searching for my son. His wife shot herself approximately 2 years ago as he was entering the apartment. He cannot stop reliving the memory, has nightmares, night terrors, has been in therapy for the 2 year period but appears to have hit a wall wiht what will help him. He has anxiety and is trying to manage it with ativan & beer. I thought of EMDR as a method to assist... does anyone have suggestions ? Should I be searching for a therapist skilled in PTSD and let them take the reins ? I sure could use some assistance. I don't want to toss him into another traumatic situation and in all that I have read, that should not occur... any advice for the newbee ?

 

[lighteningdarkness]

Hey, so sorry to hear about your son and his struggles.

I have found EMDR to be really effective, my need to drink has dramatically reduced and my overall level of anxiety has dropped. What has happened is that I have had an increase in intrusive thoughts and recalled memory which is distressing. I also find the sessions themselves very distressing.

That said, I am trying to process an event which happened many years ago and that my brain has effectively buried, so I am learning new stuff about the event. From the sound of it this isn't something your son would be dealing with.

My understanding is that EMDR is effective for moving 'stuck' memories to the correct place in your mind and this is how it reduces / stops the recall (which can be constant or through flashbacks).

My initial reaction was very strong and I think it surprised my T. We now work really hard during the EMDR to keep part of me grounded in the present (so I don't get 'lost' in the remembering) and also the grounding at the end of the session. I haven't re-experienced anything like the aftermath of the first session.

I understand your concern about retraumatising, I would say this would be something to ask the therapist. Don't be shy about questioning them about what they recomend and how it works etc.

I don't really have any advice re finding a therapist. The one I have now was originally 'allocated' following a difficulty at work. From other posts people find a few and go and speak to them to check them out. You could do it this way and have a mix of PTSD and EMDR therapists?

If you have any questions feel free to ask.

 

[lenlen]

I'm also glad to hear that the second session went better. I've read quite a bit about EMDR and have had a few sessions myself. I understand that it is "normal" or "expected" that you will be reprocessing for some time after the session is over. Although my therapist has been very careful about not letting me get "re-traumatized".

One thing that I had found very useful in getting over my own humps in the therapy is to express very clearly to the therapists my reservations and feelings about her. It was incredibly difficult to do. Just like you, I tend to worry a lot about the feelings and comfort of the other person. So it took an enormous effort to say that I thought she might not be competent to handle my situation.

The interesting thing was that she reacted very well to this. One of the things she brought up was that my perception may have been affected by my emotional state, creating a crooked lens. I remembered this when I read about your reaction to your therapist's e-mail. And I've noticed this in myself quite often, that reading and rereading e-mails could create a very different impression in me depending on my state.

What was really important for my own progress: acknowledging these thoughts and feelings and expressing them, without believing in them 100%. I guess it was about realizing that my thoughts can be kind of paranoid and wrong, but in the therapeutic setting it is paramount that I do not try to suppress them.


I hope my two bits help. Best of luck to you in your healing journey.