Emdr Worked!!!!

[Iam]

Thanks Seedling. Yeah, I was in a pretty bad place just a year ago. In fact 11 months ago I ended up in the hospital, albeit voluntarily. Wow....it's hard to believe how far I've come.

I've read accounts that tapping works. I have a feeling it is very similar to EMDR in the way it brings things up and helps to reprocess, creating new neuropathways . It's great that you can use acupuncture to help relieve some of the symptoms. So much better than having to use medications! Keep up the good work. I'm proud of you for sticking with it. You'll be so happy you did! (((BIG HUGS))))

 

[discovering me]

I tried EMDR twice. The first time, bad therapist, bad timing and it didn't do much. But I did this again with a different therapist this early Spring and wow....it transformed all the multiple flashes into what I call one event. Like a movie strip...it took all the single frames, which made it seem all over the place, and merged them into one movie. It was weird in the process, extrememly fatigued afterward, but it stopped 75% of them. I would do it again.

 

[Doc]

What is EMDR?

 

[discovering me]

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR)
It can be done in various forms (tapping, following a pencil, following a light, waving a hand, etc) Must be done with a certified therapist.
The basic of it is...The goal of EMDR therapy is to process these distressing memories, reducing their lingering influence and allowing clients to develop more adaptive coping mechanisms. It works on reconnecting the pathways in the brain.
psyc wiki it...you will find a lot.

 

[anni]

This is one of the most clear-eyed, succinct accounts of an intential healing path I've ever read, Iam. This stupid thing is like a hurricane, with an eye and all those awful little tornados spinning off and doing other damage- tough to contain the entire field of wreckage much less know where to pick up that first piece of debris, begin the clean up, you know? Daunting. Boy, did you bring in the back-hos and heavy machinery, roll up your sleeves and get to work! Thank you for coming back with this, your hard work, your blueprint to get where you are. You didn't even sound smug, which given your achievement I think you deserve. :)

XXOO Much,

Anni

 

[Doc]

Sounds worth a try. If I ever move back close to a modern society I will give it a try.

 

[Iam]

This stupid thing is like a hurricane, with an eye and all those awful little tornados spinning off and doing other damage- tough to contain the entire field of wreckage much less know where to pick up that first piece of debris, begin the clean up, you know? Thank you for coming back with this, your hard work, your blueprint to get where you are. You didn't even sound smug, which given your achievement I think you deserve. :)

I think that is one of the reasons EMDR with a qualified T helps. It brings up and prioritizes the stuff buried so deep that you don't even know it's there, the stuff that needs to be worked on. Seems kind of like it has a life of it's own....

As far as not being smug.....dang, how could I be? I just feel so lucky to have found the right therapists and have had the emotional support of my husband and friends, both physical and here on the forum. Not to mention the time and finances to be able to work on myself for 2 years....still have a way to go and there may be some more stuff that surfaces, but I think the hardest work is over. I feel so much more whole for the first time in my life. Now to figure out who I really am, who I want to be. That actually should be exciting!

 

[KP the nut]

One of the lessons EMDR and my lovely T taught me.

1.

2.

EMDR helped clear the clutter and taught me to be kind and to be proud of myself. A hard lesson but I am finally believing.

((IAM))

 

[Iam]

Love it KP....and you really SHOULD BE proud of yourself. You have and are working so hard to heal. Something few are strong enough to do. I AM PROUD OF YOU TOO!

I think learning to love, have compassion and be proud of myself has been the hardest lesson of all. Something I still am working on. It feels so wonderful to be able to hold, comfort and protect those parts of myself that initially wouldn't even let me near them. Those parts finally feel heard, understood and loved. Seems the key is that it is me loving those parts that is the most important, because it's not dependent on or conditional from anyone else. Nobody can take away the gift we give ourselves ;o)

 

[anni]

Hee- I think you probably lack the correct character type to be smug, so was just kidding anyway. I'd hope you'd at least do that awkward thing of attempting to reach around and pat yourself on the back. Self-hugging is also deserved for this but one looks equally silly trying to pull that off! Better leave that for husband and buddies, huh?

I tend to do this 'thing' sometimes, when time allows ( not often at the moment! ) where I'll re-read someone's old posts, comparing them to present. With your lovely state of peace at the moment, please do not do this to yourself with yours but oh MY- tickles the heck out of me, seeing what your work has acheived.

Hugs and Peace, I AM. :)

 

[seedling]

Iam - in regard to your writing about learning to love the parts of yourself. I have found myself starting to do this for myself now. It feels so wonderful. I tell that repressed part of myself that I love her and I won't leave her behind this time. You're right about it - no one can take this kind of love away. This sort of love also ends up flowing out of us to others around us.

Learning to love ourselves (and just simply trying to remember to practice it) is a great tool for healing.

I keep tapping and I find I run into pockets of resistance when I hit the important things - the "just give up now" voices start in on me. The acupuncture helps move the emotions when I get stuck, it's a great combination.

Let us know how it goes finding yourself again - what an exciting discovery!

 

[Iam]

So glad it's going well for you Seedling! You have come incredibly far over this last year! The shift in being able to love ourselves is critical. It just amazes me how that allowed me to integrate the various ego states into myself makes me feel whole. I really feel ok with myself now. I'm glad the acupuncture helps. Continuing to use the coping skills we've learned will keep us from going back to the full blown PTSD symptoms. It gets easier and easier to do. I'm hoping at some point it becomes automatic for us :tup:

My EMDR T and I did the formal evaluation yesterday and it showed exactly what we thought. I no longer meet the criteria of PTSD! She said that we're about thru with our work together other than one target we found regarding the fear I feel when I see my mom is calling or has called. My T thinks there will always be some discomfort there as my mom is BPD, but that there shouldn't be any fear. The fear is probably some residual stuck emotions from the past. We'll process that and then we are done! WOW!