I had another appointment with my threapist today, and she lucked out. here is the background; Im normally a really guarded person until someone gets to know me these days. I am on course that is done on the 3rd of Nov, so they start talking about afganistan and stuff just started flooding back into my head. I had a panic attack! so i stayed out had some ativan a smoke, then some breathing followed by more ativan and some more smokes. |So i was about halfway down when they are done and come out to the smoking area, someone starts to ask me why didnt you come back, I shrugged it off saying I didnt want to. ( not many people know of my issue) so he starts to say blah blah blah, your an instructor at the school , blah blah blah, you should know better.....so i didnt want a confrontation so i walked away...this brought on another panic attack. so we had a break i went to calm down yet again,,,,goit myself a bit down to the point where i could go back to class then we were dismissed for the day...i left immideatly. Got home and realized that i hadnt done my shrink homework....one of those feelings one....so i wrote it out ....abd guess what happened again....Panic attack....i went to see her at the pinnacle of it and she actually talked to me and helped me out with it. We did what we should have done prior to trying emdr. We got to know and trust each other.
Now she wants me to do a feelings journel by art assignment....however i feel that day i have to color, paint ect in a book. ok March on arts and crafts class!