Emotional Flashback

[mrsmegan]

I have tried to read through some of the past posts on this topic, but wasn't exactly finding what I was looking for.

I think I have been having an increase in what I call emotional flashbacks - but just not sure if that's what they are.

I have had a couple of very triggering things happen recently that have certainly brought up a lot of emotions and stuff from the past. Where it gets hard and I get stuck - is that I am flooded with emotions that do not fit reality. In this particular instance, I felt intensely like I was being rejected and abandoned, and a ton of shame and fear - even though I know that is not what is happening now. I can't get my logic brain to calm down these emotions and I usually just have to wait for them to pass.

Are these emotional flashbacks? Or just me getting triggered? What's the difference?

 

[EveHarrington]

Good question.

To me, emotional flashbacks are feeling all of those emotions I experienced during past trauma.

Being triggered is a bit different in that it is caused by something trauma related but I'm not necessarily feeling all of those emotions from the past. (There isn't the immense sense of past emotional flooding).

I guess it is a fine line-----a bit hard for me to explain myself.

 

[mrsmegan]

Being triggered is a bit different in that it is caused by something trauma related but I'm not necessarily feeling all of those emotions from the past. (There isn't the immense sense of past emotional flooding).

Thanks Eve. Yea - I think the distinction is getting flooded with emotions that correspond to my past trauma and are not fitting to the current situation.

And if I am thinking about this correctly, when my stuff gets triggered by something that happens now, it can cause flashbacks to occur, but not always.

 

[Suzetig]

Could be both, what do you mean when you think about being triggered? For me I'm often triggered into emotional flashbacks, in fact it took me a long time to figure out what was happening because I don't tend to have physical feelings/audible/visual flashbacks. While they do happen sometimes, I'm more likely to feel emotions than anything else.

 

[mrsmegan]

@Suzetig Sorry if that was confusing...I think I was just processing that triggers don't always lead to flashbacks - but that they can....does that make sense? I was just thinking about the distinction between the two.

 

[Suzetig]

It does, yes. Am I right in thinking this feels like a new response to triggers that you already know about or is it something that feels very new? To give you a example, I know that making a mistake or getting something wrong is very triggering for me and 95% of the time it'll trigger an emotional flashback. I was very surprised the first time it triggered a physical reaction in me - so a known trigger but new reaction if that makes sense?

 

[mrsmegan]

It's not new to me - I feel as though I do this a lot - in fact your example fits me perfectly.

I think what is new for me is the terminology and actually trying to separate this out from myself.

For example - I make a mistake and I go into major panic/shame mode. I can respond two ways:

1. This is probably an emotional flashback - a symptom of my PTSD - I need to find a way to cope with these really big feelings
2. I am overly dramatic and can't control my emotions - and again, more shame and self-loathing.

I am always doing #2 - and just never want to go to #1. I think because blaming and self-hatred are such a go-to for me - it would feel like making an excuse which I don't feel I am allowed to do.

 

[Suzetig]

I know that so well, it's very easy for me to go to that place of shame and blame too - the terminology has helped me a lot both to recognise what's happening (ie I'm having a flashback) and to ground myself out of it. Before I would just give in to the extreme emotions and think I was being over dramatic. Generally speaking now if I find myself having what feels like an over reaction I can take a minute to figure out what's been triggered. Sometimes that process is slower than I'd like - so I still have to deal with the feelings - but can be kinder to myself.

Of course, getting to understand and deal with the flashback also means accepting I've been traumatised, which hits all my "it wasn't that big a deal" buttons... but that's a whole other thing.

It does sound like you're getting to know your own process better, which is a very good thing.

 

[oneday]

Just been reading some stuff by Pete Walker which is really good on the subject of emotional flashbacks. Google it, it is worth checking out.

 

[mrsmegan]

Thanks @oneday!