Hey thanks for the reply. She had a threesome with one of her boyfriends. So I guess I'm meaning she and I are different and we always were with life boundaries. I liked all your questions. I hope I've helped answer. I believe her decision was based on it wasn't worth it to her because she knows she didn't do anything wrong that's basically what she said. There's nothing to argue. She didn't want to treat my family the way we need to be treated and I'm sorry if I'm awfully reminding you of something it doesn't mean I'm right. I open to anyone's response because this blew my mind.
From this post you have shared, I get a sense that maybe you both misunderstand each other, or are communicating at different levels.
You have values about sex and behaviour that are different to hers.
I wonder if you are seeing danger where there wasn't any? Idk.
Because having a theeesome (once? More than one?) I.e. engaging in consensual sex with other adults who are consenting, isn't a sign of infidelity or lack of moral compass or deceitfulness. Having an affair with your friend's husband is a different thing. It is crossing boundaires. It is knowingly hurting and lieing to your friend. It is knowingly breaking social norms and what is seen as acceptable behaviour in society.
So I would say they are totally different things. .
And one does not lead to another.
Maybe she felt judged by you?
Maybe she felt she had nothing to change?
Maybe she felt that your marital isues were yours and nothing to do with her so nothing for her to change?
Maybe that is her personality and she's happy with herself and her behaviour?
Maybe she is totally insensitive and disregards your feelings?
Idk.
Does it sound like the friendship is totally beyond repair?
Do you want it repaired?
I think things like this are a reminder that: nothing stays the same. Relationships change and do end. It rocks our sense of stability when they do because we like to have security in relation to others. But: things do change. And they may change from this current situation too.
(Thanks for the apology but no need to: I need to be aware and responsible for my feelings about that word and hope I have taken my emotion out of this now, but may not fully have)
