Escaping Dv

[Leah Morgan]

Okay so some of you will know me from over a year ago when my delayed onset PTSD was diagnosed after I had a nervous break down after I got assaulted at work which brought my childhood trauma crashing down on me. My partner didn't know how to deal with me, we became so distant and I ended up in a psychiatric unit. I then dissapeared off the face of the earth. I am writing this now from a refuge after being given a book to read to help me understand what has happened to me in the last year. I could have sworn the writer has been sat on my shoulder for the last 12months and had written my life down. I'm not going to go into details but I have suffered a year of domestic abuse, the occasional violence I could see but the psychological manipulation and intimidation I couldn't. But after reading a two chapters in the book the reality of my last year to date has just hit me like a slap in the face. But now I'm safe in refuge with only 7 days work of clothes to my name. And it's time to try and claw life back again.

 

[City Slicker]

Really really good you are somewhere safe also where you have a chance to put a life together. I am really really glad you are safe.
Best wishes in your journey.

 

[Seasounds]

Your courage and diligence are such good qualities of yours. Add to that, your healing and safety has is allowing you to recognize dysfunctional dynamics while, or soon after they happen. This implies your inner, instinctual navigational are alive. You are coming through the past events more whole and more alive!

I'm so happy for you, and congratulate you! Being your own protector and developing authentic self-esteem is the sweet gift. Keep taking your clarity and strength forward, by being gentle with yourself.

Support your way! :hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I am so happy for you and glad that you escaped to refuge. I understand how daunting of a task to start over and I think you are so worth fighting for. I wish you well from now on.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I'm so sorry that happened to you, I'm glad to read you're ok now, have missed you :hug: x

 

[void]

We will listen to any aspects of your story you wish to discuss.
We care.:hug:

 

[Leah Morgan]

I am so alone but so sure I'm in the right place, I haven't slept well for days. But have now acted to stop all the messages I have deactivated Facebook and what's app and all is quiet for now. But I'm tired and tears still keep rushing despite me trying to stop them. I miss her so desperately but now can see that I'm not in the wrong and I can't continue as I was. I can't understand still why some one who says they love me would do this to me. Does she love me? I guess I'll never no. I know although I'm hurting that at least now I don't have to fear talking too fast else I get kicked or being force fed because if I don't want to eat I'm starving her. I can't help wondering why I allowed the last year to happen?

 

[Deleted member 29920]

I'm really sad for you that it turned out that way, you didn't deserve that.

 

[joeylittle]

@Leah Morgan - the important thing is, you've gotten yourself out of that situation. Don't worry too much about understanding how it came about - keep focusing on you, and getting yourself to your next step.

I'm glad to hear from you.

 

[Suzetig]

@Leah Morgan give yourself some space just to catch your breath. This is a very new understanding for you, that your relationship was abusive and it's a lot to take in. The only thing I'm going to say is that responsibility for abuse rests with the person who chose to be abusive to you - it wasn't your fault that she did terrible things to you, even though you might tell yourself that you were to blame. You aren't responsible for this.

 

[Leah Morgan]

I'm still sat in my room in the refuge my safe place. Court got adjourned again today, but I am glad I didn't give up. I still need help deal with the old trauma and the new. In the last year I have had a nervous breakdown, been physically and emotionally abused kidnapped and locked in a flat & tried to kill me and more. My mental health has not been great I miss my mum and my children. I'm getting to see them more and more and my ex husband and I have become good friends. My new medication isn't great.i want off this roller coaster, but things are getting better slowly. The meantal health team are trying I have been rediagnosed with PTSD with borderline personality disorder which apparently is explained by my turbulent childhood and various traumas. Step by step I guess

 

[Leah Morgan]

Well hello all, it's been a good few months since I've been here, but all I have is good news. I have left the refuge hurrah I was there for 9months. I have a stunning new house a dog called tia. I am seeing my children more and more. My mood still fluctuates and nightmares still trouble me. But most importantly I have an amazing new girlfriend whom is the most amazing person I have ever met. She is beautiful inside and out. And I am happy we have just looked thorough some of my diary entries as we have no secrets and it amazing to see the difference in my life. I am looking forward again rather than dreading the future. Here is to brighter days. I hope everyone is well.