Ever Feel Like You're Abso-freakin'-lutley Bat***t Insane? :)

[AzureMind]

God....I've been all over the place mentally, how bout you guys? I feel like I'm really f*****g crazy....A guy i go to school with said "You're Crazy Boy" I flashed a huge grin and said "You have NO idea...." lol I just feel out of my mind with anger, then depression, and back again, and I try to divert my attention but I just fall right back into the same pattern.....honestly guys, If I've said it once, than I'll say it again......I LOVE POT.....ugh, it makes me feel "normal" like happy, and chill....I know it's not the best coping mechanism, but I've had my first appointment/clinical assessment back on Thursday of last week, and this guy said i need to think happy thoughts basically "The sun is warm, and the grass is green!" ooooooooooo Now, there's a thought!! :eek: If I fake being happy I will eventually be happy! Yea!!......only that's wrong because I'm clinically depressed!!! Ugh....guy this guys a real goon....whatev....any cures for "CBIS"? (Completely Bat***T Insane Syndrome)?

 

[Abbi]

Well of course I have felt that way duhhhh! ROFL - one of my standard responses is also "You have NO idea" - I do it with this one eyebrow up devilish smile - very freaky to folks. :roflmao:
Give the goon a chance ok and do something other than weed that makes you feel good ...and is legal....and moral...oh hell yea just think about warm sun and green grass lol.

 

[AzureMind]

lol you too?! I do it with a small sneaking grin :sneaky:...ahhaha.....He's a cool dude, but he said it in such a "off the cuff" manner that it kinda surprised me, because I thought I was pretty careful keeping my "CBIS" to myself lol :laugh: it's cool though. as far as finding things that make me feel good, I mean, like NOTHING makes me feel good.....I'm lucky to feel numb most days rather than completely emotionally smashed.....but I guess I could try jumping out of bushes scaring young'ins? lol darn that's not moral......:sneaky: and pots out.....so I guess staring at the 4 walls of my home is a very PLAUSIBLE option then?....lol :O_o:

 

[Abbi]

Yea doesn't it suck when I throw moral in there too.....you made me laugh, thank you!

Tell you what I'll trade you a little numb and we can take moral out for a few hours and jump out of bushes and scare yourself! :p

 

[AzureMind]

Yea you did Abbi!! :D I'm a pretty gruesome looking guy anyway, so it shouldn't be too hard :rolleyes:....I dodge mirrors ya know? ;)

 

[Abbi]

ROFL, no the point was if your truly CBIS, then despite your best efforts to scare the youngins you will mostly scare yourself. :rolleyes: Oh geez come on now you know its true.

Dodge mirrors? oh we don't to go there. If I catch one that person on the other side in a matter of a few minutes has me utterly convinced that all of "this" is in my head, all was a figment of my imagination. At least your a guy and don't have to worry about how hard eyeliner is without a mirror......:roflmao:

 

[KP the nut]

At least your a guy and don't have to worry about how hard eyeliner is without a mirror......:roflmao:

I am so jealous, you mean your hands are steady enough to put on eyeliner. I can't even paint my toe nails because I get the damn stuff everywhere except where it is supposed to go :roflmao:

 

[Abbi]

ROFLMAO, ***bleep*** no most of the time I try, look like Joan Crawford on a bender!

 

[IchBin]

Nah for real though, I feel so crazy sometimes. It's almost like being a functional schizophrenic. For a long time I worried I actually was going to go crazy, since the symptoms I experience are so bizarre sometimes. The other part that is so damn hard is that I can't express to my friends what it's like. I can pass for pretty normal sometimes, but it's what people don't see that is the hardest - the darkness, emotional emptiness, and fearful rage I harbor. I was just talking the other day to my therapist about the "switching" that sometimes occurs. I'll feel okay and think "hey, you know, I think everything will be alright after all, all that weirdness is behind me now," only to mentally disintegrate a couple of hours later and feel hopeless. My self is fragile. At this point in my recovery process I'm trying to build up a mental toolkit to help cope and find a way out when things get messy and scary. We'll see how that goes. ;)

 

[BloomInWinter]

Can I have my induction pin into the CBSI club, now? Wow....rough hazing process!