• We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
  • Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.

Evie's Mental Imagery

Status
Not open for further replies.
#3. Desire to return to an earlier time

Oh I forgot. I also wanted to comment/ask about this. Does this mean I want to be a kid again, or that I just want to go back to before the shooting? I know I often wish the shooting never happened and that I didn't have PTSD. In fact I have fantasies about that. Hmm, maybe I should write about that in my diary...

Anyways thanks again for doing this, you've given me lots to think about.
 
batgirl said:
Does this mean I want to be a kid again, or that I just want to go back to before the shooting? I know I often wish the shooting never happened and that I didn't have PTSD. In fact I have fantasies about that.
You just answered your own question Evie... which only you could have done. Saved me the trouble of telling you I don't know, only you do. You know you would like to return to an earlier time, being prior to the shooting. That would be what your sub-conscious feels.

batgirl said:
But what do you mean by feeling like you have been ripped off with intimacy because of trauma? Can you explain that to me please?
You really once again answered this already, being you believe your damaged goods now from your trauma, and what did you say, "I feel like I would be a burden on anyone I was with."
batgirl said:
What do you mean by someone or something less than totally honest? I'm being dishonest or someone else is being dishonest with me? I don't really understand the statement.
This refers to commitment, being relationships with others, whether spouse, family or friend, that is up to you, as its your mental image. What you stated was: "It's a bit stained too on the inside, I think from coffee, because it's a brown stain." which you referred as coffee, being a liquid, which defers to the commitment towards someone or something less than totally honest. The coffee is a stain as you stated, so this is likely something that is lingering in your mind, though is off past nature, likely a commitment issue you had that maybe you still feel guilty for or the like, remembering, could be spouse, family or friend.
 
Thanks for your answers Anthony. I think I pretty much understand it all now. Mostly just some of the terminology was a bit hard to understand but you explained it well. I'm curious about the coffee stain thing but I can't imagine what it might be, there are so many issues with people in my past that I feel guilty over, I couldn't pick just one. Though I suppose it could represent the amalgamation of those several that I really haven't resolved. Anyways thanks again for doing this, it's been really interesting. I'm curious to see what I will be like again in another few months, if I keep working at myself.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jim
Well. You've certainly made progress since January Evie. The mental imagery doesn't lie. Proud of you.

Uncle Jim.
 
Thanks Uncle. It is pretty amazing how much progress I've made. I can barely believe it myself.

Anthony, is there anything I'm supposed to be doing with this now, or just continue as usual with my diary, therapy, etc? I read everything you wrote but I really don't have any questions other than the ones I already asked, the whole thing was slightly triggering but like I said most of it was no surprise to me. Maybe that's fine but others seem to be surprised by theirs. Am I missing something?
 
Evie, your not missing a thing, because your mental imagery is old, and it changes constantly. Simply doing the imagery with no feedback begins the process within your brain... which you have already been through. A few pieces that your brain may not have engaged are what you mention in relation to being slightly triggered, but otherwise, you have dealt with the majority of it at this stage, and this was purely informative for you to view your progression since being here really.

You answered it yourself above, relating to believing how much progress you have made, that was the idea of what little I have put here for you. I think your doing just fine at the moment, and your already on the right path to heal yourself and learn how to manage PTSD.... your not in denial anymore Evie, and your progress now should be the main focus. Find the negatives in your life, find any triggers, then begin attacking them, to either find a path past them or know you must avoid them.

Work on social skills, ie. begin exposure into crowds, functions, concerts, anything of large proportion, but do it in stages, get yourself back into society. These skills help with your general daily functioning skills, as they all intertwine as you!
 
Thanks Anthony, I'm glad I'm on the right track and relieved you said that because I really wasn't sure what else I could be doing at this point! I've been working hard at everything, basically just dealing with things as they come up, like going to my Dad's grave for example. I wasn't sure if that was the right way of going about things... I thought maybe I should have some organized method, but it has been working so far. My social skills, those definitely need a lot of improvement, my self-esteem too, so I will try to set some goals for myself in those areas. Thanks again for doing this it's been an eye opener for me to see how much progress I've made.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Donation drives

2026 Donation Goal

Goal
$1,800.00
Earned
$910.00
This donation drive ends in
0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds
  50.6%

Trending content

Featured content

Back
Top Bottom