Facebook Depresses Me - Facebook Blues

[Daisy_May]

I find facebook funny--the pics of the most beautiful women I know, are crazy! One woman just recently got married, and I remember seeing them at a party, getting into a fight and they left because they were becoming physically abusive to each other. The other two most beautiful women, who are also incredibly sweet on the inside and I love and adore very very much, are both bulimic.

Do not be jealous of a mirage, I tell myself. I have dreams that these women have perfect lives and I wake up feeling weird and depressed, why would my mind do that to me? I know the reality of their situations. Beautiful people also seem to be far more likely to have addictions and cheat, where I live. And the most 'popular' trendy hipsters on my facebook, a lot of them struggle with cocaine addictions, alcoholic parents, jail time for drug dealing.. etc etc etc.

I'm happily nerdy, and I keep reminding myself that I am too old to worry about being 'cool'. It's all marketing, and it's not real. What's real is therapy, self love, my friends and my own personal direction. That is how I cope with facebook.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

email is depressing too.I don't usually get anything. my father emailed me this morning,we emailed, within minutes of each other a few times, but when i told him I was getting ready to go to therapy, he ignored this and emailed more about himself...when i asked him" uhmm..is there a reason you are not talking about my therapy?" He never replied

 

[Evangeline]

Hi Hopeful, hmm...I have been on and off fb over the past 2 years.

At times I delete all my friends, sometimes block them, delete my account...THEN I have to friend everyone again when I feel better!

Woohoo, it's so embarrassing!

Facebook is known for BRAVADO, (another word for b**ls**t)! Some of the applications and games are fun though.

I feel more stable now I have deleted my fb profile.

xxx Evangeline.

 

[louisa]

Deleted and deactivated my facebook account two days ago. I just kept getting a bad vibe from it and even had the odd nightmare about it. It's addictive and like alot of the other people commenting on here, i think you're better off without it. It does tend to provide a false picture of everything. As for those people who you think are so happy and leading such fulfilling lives? Well, i had some very 'smiley, happy' pictures of myself on facebook but they didn't really reflect the reality of my situation. In fact, I felt that i had to hide a great deal and was presenting a false picture of myself. Facebook has its good points. But perhaps its just not for you at the moment. Hope this and all the other comments are helpful to you. Thankyou for this thread as it's helped me too,

Best wishes

Louisa

 

[fatwhale]

I know this sound lame. But anyone actually feels depressed after logging onto FB and seeing the pictures and hearing all the great news that's been happening in your friends? Facebook Depression, or Facebook Blues they call it. I read from various articles that mainly teenagers are suffering from it, but I am an adult and I do feel upset occassionally after seeing how great my friends are doing and my life is not measuring up to them. People's advice is, "Grow up!" I am not green with envy or jealous with my friends, but it just makes me feel like I am a loser... especially, when you try to add someone as your friend or initiate a conversation with him/her and he/she just ignores it. Does it mean I am not even good enough as a human being to be your friend?

I know this sounds like a child. So what I am doing now is not logging on to FB, at least for sometime.

 

[The Albatross]

Fat Whale, ditch the idea that it is the experience that is "making" you feel that way (like a loser). You are doing that with your perception of your experience and the events of others. Perhaps acknowledging this bout of depression and how it affects you when you see your friends stuff on facebook is an indicator that it is time to address some self worth stuff?

I don't think you sound like a child at all. I just think that, when we become aware of uncomfortable things, we are called to call into question our beliefs and perceptions, and to self exame and challenge... and change some of the thoughts and feelings we have about ourselves and about others.

If I feel uncomfortable or depressed, I am more likely these days to do something about it. I am the captain of my ship, and I can choose to change course at any time. If I find myself in troubled waters, I need to do something about it.

A time out is a good initial start, but it can become avoidance which can be isolating. Maybe you can think of other options?

 

[Red Feather]

I dislike Facebook more and more. But not because I see my friends doing stuff I would like to do too. More just because there are so many people on it, that I am only very little acquanted with, and so don't really feel comfortable. It sort of became fake for me.

But I agree with Albatross, maybe this is telling less about the facebook issue, and more about your own wishes and desires.

I want to be more social, but sometimes find it difficult, and so I have to be a bit more understanding to myself that it is just not so possible at the moment.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I quit facebook for awhile too. I understand how you feel Whale, and I can feel the same way. I'm so afraid of rejection, I rarely ask to friend someone. I have joined real life chronic pain groups and NAMI groups so I am meeting more real life friends. I still isolate, but I have more friends now and force myself to see them. Not because I don't like them, but because I have a hard time getting out.

 

[Loner]

Yea, facebook breeds manic depressive behavior, catastrophizing. You should 'freind' the poster 'positive thinking' some great things to say that help me to hear on a regular basis. https://www.facebook.com/PositiveAtmosphere

Also remind yourself that the pictures and posts on facebook are the groomed manicured image people choose to present about their lives to show what they want others to see. It is not an accurate picture.

 

[Mcll]

I kind of know how you feel. Well, kind of. It was through FB that I discovered my husband and I were being stalked for over 12 years. He hacked my husbands computer. He was very calculating and manipulative with, I guess, people in our life. He put a lot of effort into trying to destroy our lives because it meant a lot to him. In my situation people pretend to not care but then dedicate a large amount of their precious time focusing on me.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

This is one situation where you're COMPLETELY in control of this "situational" depression.

So my question is why do that to yourself? I hear lots of people say that Facebook depresses them, but they turn around and refuse to leave. Talk about masochistic!

 

[Shellbell]

Yesterday I put a message on my FB saying that I was taking a break and only using it for private messaging. FB isn't a safe place for me at the moment. I have too many 'friends' who do not have my interests at heart and being part of a big church group - if I delete certain people - it causes a lot of gossip etc.

I haven't deactivated it as I have friends and family abroad and it's my only form of contact with them.

Facebook can be a great way to social network, but it can have a detrimental affect for people feeling vulnerable, lonely and unwell.

So, now I respond to private messages only. I don't look at anyone's FB wall and I've blocked anyone being able to post onto mine.

I think ScaredOfLonely is right, if it is affecting you in a negative way, stop using it.