General Faith And Ptsd

[The Albatross]

P.S. If I am wrong, I'll have lost nothing but gained insight and self control over my destructive thinking and emotions, and I can be open to see the good in other people and situations. Be in a place of expectation looking for blessings rather than fear.

If I am right then the quality of my day to day life will have been improved and when I die I'll be rejoined in union with my Creator. I call that a win, win.

 

[Deleted member 12989]

I struggle with that too, how God could allow some bad circumstances to happen in my life--doesn't he know that I would be more effective, more healthy without them?

I read this part of a prayer that helps me when I struggle with trusting God with my pain.

"Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried." Isaiah 53:4

"How comforting to know that in all my distresses, You were distressed. And how I thank You, Lord Jesus, that on the cross You bore my griefs and carried my sorrows, as well as my sins...that I can kneel at the cross and worship You as the One who took on Yourself all my pain and experienced it to the full. And how comforting to know that in the present, day by day, You feel with me any pain, confusion, inner bondage, or struggles that stem from my past."

 

[Tinyflame]

I think that is great Alby!, and no need to 'explain' why you have the relationship you do- I am sure you are right.
Good for you! :tup: :)

I believe that is true, about our own understanding and perspective etc.
Also, it is easy to take for granted what you (I, that is), do have until (I) lose it.
Nor do I think of it as a "Santa List".

I think it is more just hurt.
However, not like God is required to explain to me- or even could.
Hardest part is, when (I) can't trust God is all-together that concerned about 'feelings'- and He's All-Sweet, then I can't envision 'people' (myself most of all) that trustworthy.
But ha- what do I know, I'll just be glad one day if I can get a rest. :sleep:

 

[The Albatross]

Trustworthy is not a requirement... only need is. I doubled back to share my morning reading with you. It is from Eugenia Price's "Share My Pleasant Stones", a daily devotional reading that I am doing this year. I wanted to share it because it seemed to be topical and who knows... I may be a messanger today. It surely is a coincidence though and it helped me today so I'm passing it along. The emphasis by italics are hers. March 3:

"Then flew one of the seraphims unto me, having a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from off the alter" ~ Isaiah 6:6

Perhaps you are asking why these particular verses are included in our collection of "red stones" which remind us of the love and the indwelling life of God. God has worked out this wonderful arrangement whereby He can come and live His holy life, right in us; but first we need cleansing.

He is a holy God, and we are a people of unclean lips. We have all "sinned and come short of the glory of God." We must be fit for Him to dwell in us before He can come in. Before we can experience His life within us, we must have our sins washed away. He has made this possible and he has the "seraphims" ready to keep us fit.

Perhaps the "seraphim" God has ready to fly unto you right now doesn't look much like your idea of a seraphim. This messenger may look like your mother-in-law or your boss. But our God is a Redeemer and the "seraphim" will fly unto you with a live coal from off the altar, and God will do His part if we are willing to do ours. We are to receive the "seraphims" as they are.

Perhaps the "live coal" is a stinging blast of criticism or a lofty condescension. God is in it and we are to accept it from Him as a sign that He wants to change us so much right there on that point that nothing "unclean" will rise up within us no matter how many "seraphims" fly at us.

The "seraphim flying at you right now may look like that one person whom you just "can't take." Trust God's timing. See your need to be able to love --- even that particular "seraphim." For woe are we if we can't. We are simply "undone." Thank God for showing us this new need. All we need to come to Him is --- need.

"him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out..."

P.S. My "seraphim" right now surely does look like my mother-in-law.

 

[The Albatross]

I needed and need to learn and be in relationship with Him. On my own I did not possess the will to live and was destroying my life. I had to try something different, and now I try to remember why I chose to live a life based on spiritual principles and be willing to live with a relationship with God. And be teachable to learn what I didn't have before, a pattern of living that sustains even in times of adversity and trauma.

 

[Tinyflame]

That's great Alby.

For me, though, there is no point expressing needs when I do not trust the response, or better put this way, if feelings are incidental and God is All-Wise, then why bother. I don't trust that, so for me it means a lot.

 

[Tinyflame]

Alby, sorry, just occurred to me- think we might be referring to different things-
I didn't mean "hurt (feelings)" from others' actions or words, abuse, rejection, or betrayals of trust.
Irrespective of that, and what is supposed to be learned from it etc, those are 'people's' choices, just as it is mine how to respond.

I meant, I don't think feelings are high on God's list of priorites- just my experience. Doesn't matter, I mean, God-is-God and therefore correct, but I will never entirely feel comfortable or confident or 'trust' He cares less about feelings.
In my mind yes, I am wholly-dependent, and yes, He deserves thanks for everything I have or ever had. But I won't ever feel trusting of that.

 

[Eleanor]

Junebug, I agree with you. I don't find much evidence that God cares too much about "feelings". What it does seem to me is that God cares about virtue. It is a bit strange to say it this way, but God doesn't much care if we are happy, or if our lives are pleasant or comfortable (really, this is our own lookout) but "wants" us to be joyful. If that makes any sense. The idea, for me, is that God wants people to be good at living and dealing with whatever comes at them - kind of like Michael Jordan on the basketball court or... pick your favorite virtuoso in whatever area - Picasso in painting, Clapton on guitar. When we touch that expertise - we get, not happiness which is more fleeting and just a 'feeling" but we experience something more expansive and persistent - Joy. (Reading medieval theologians taught me this.)

It also seems to me that people are given more than they can (or do) bear. Could they have coped? Seems unkind to say they could if they didn't. And, when we break, God loves us anyway. Which we may or may not have an experience of. It is better if we can be in touch with the divine love - "when I look into the abyss, the abyss looks back". But sometimes we can't, or won't. Hard to know the difference between can't and won't for me at the border.

Trust. Trust is tough. Much much harder for some people than others. Is it even warranted, except in some limited way? We shouldn't trust God to keep us fed, or warm or in good relationships. Maybe we trust that such is always possible if we put in the necessary work?... but I'm not really sure I'd even go that far - although its mostly true. Sometimes it is just flat out not. We are just "S*** out of luck." And maybe that doesn't matter to the cause of virtue - though it matters a lot to us. It does make it harder for me to love virtue.

It helps me to keep in mind the distinction between pain and suffering. Pain is inevitable and necessary. When I stub my toe, break my leg, or someone dies it hurts. It just hurts. Inevitably. There is no way to avoid pain and keep breathing and be above ground. Suffering, however, is avoidable. Suffering is caused by resisting pain and resisting what IS that can't be changed. Pain, when not resisted is finite - suffering draws it out, and can make it last forever. Denial causes suffering. Avoidance causes suffering. Repression causes suffering. I could go on. I am great at suffering. I get lots of opportunity to "practice" refraining from resistance...:eek:

 

[Lionheart]

My relationship with God is rocky, at best.:( I fear God, but do not pretend to understand God. I would prefer to have a God I can love, rather than one that scares the hell outta me *(no pun intended).

I would like to reach a place where I am more comfortable with my spirituality, but I am not sure where to start. I believe in prayers and angels, so I will be praying about it. Maybe if you're reading this and you also pray, you might include me in your prayers.

Thanks,
LH

 

[Eleanor]

Will do LH. Will do.

 

[The Albatross]

Me too.:tup:

 

[Tinyflame]

LH, -of course!!

I didn't mean to suggest God isn't kind, so I would think that way LH

You are right Eleanor, and perhaps the 'bearing' comes more down to figuring out the 'how to?', question.
Also, 'pain is part of the deal'- perhaps it doesn't seem so finite- but accordingy to God not forever.
I mean, the only part I 'get' is that He felt it too.

I do wish God would always talk more 'directly'- have a physical presence. Like kids say, "I need a God with arms!!" :(

(((((Hugs)))))