Falling backwards

[Biscuit]

For a while I was doing well with my mood, and yelling less often. I even began to start feeling the anger getting smaller. Now I feel like I have unmade all of that hard work, and I hate it. I know healing is not linear. I just hate who I am when I am like this.

 

[Dave Ryan]

I had a back-sliding moment recently. It does get you down when you feel you're going backwards. I guess we just have to stick with it and not let these things derail us. I've not been here much longer than you, but I've already found the site to be very useful.

 

[parrotthepolly]

I've been getting that destructive anger again recently, I know what caused it at least. It can get a bit out of control when there are other stressors, I mean tiny things that don't warrant such a response oof.

Also past few days have been in panic mode for seemingly no reason, everything looks too bright and every little noise bothers me. Seems like I lost my ability to dissociate and it's been replaced with sensory overload, yet nothing feels exactly real...

 

[Friday]

The only awesome thing I know about the not-linear thing is the not-limited thing.

Meaning, instead of just having one thing that worked, once? I end up with a couple of dozen things that work BEST in different situations, good in many, shite in a few, not at all in others. So I get good at reaching and applying different solutions. Which is kind of bliss for a control freak (me), as I despise being out of control? Pfft! I’ve got mad skills at getting back in control swiftest.

 

[arfie]

self-compassion and self-forgiveness have been my most valuable tool in dealing with the setbacks. hating on my symptoms is feeds my self-loathing like nothing else in the psycho-factory. forgiving myself for the crime of being sick opens the door to viewing my symptoms as something apart from my character and intent. the modicum of detachment help me be more gentle with myself and more patient with the process. it also opens my mind and heart to measures more productive than hatred.

but that is me and every case is unique.

steadying support while you sort your own case. easy does it.

time has no meaning in the healing process. ~algonquin proverb

 

[Freddyt]

Meaning, instead of just having one thing that worked, once? I end up with a couple of dozen things that work BEST in different situations,

Tools in my toolbox......collect them, add them, sometimes you gotta mix em and make your own tools.

And relentlessly using the ones that help the most. Doing stuff that keeps the window of tolerance as wide open as you can get it isn't a "when it starts getting bad" thing. It's all......the......time.

Learn to change "it's not that bad - it doesn't really bother me" to an honest assessment of "how much does it affect me?"

And treat things you don't understand as seriously as things you do understand that affect you. This can be weird. I like sports. I CAN watch football (gridiron) and rugby of all kinds, but hockey? Nope. Love it. Really want to, but right now nope.

Why? Because of anxiety and hyper-vigilance, that will bleed over and make tomorrow crappy too - and maybe the following day. That's the tough one to learn. What bleeds over to tomorrow? Because you only have so much room in your PTSD Cup. And figuring out that (for me) a trip to the dentist? Will bleed over 2-3 days, means I plan to lie low the days after.

Are there things I want to do? Yes. But there are things I need to do too. You have to learn to balance it out as best you can and add "nope - can't do that" to your everyday sometimes.

The ptsd cup explanation

Mar 10, 2018

Nearly a decade ago (2006) I wrote The PTSD Cup Explanation, a simple view of how PTSD causes symptoms in day-to-day life. This article is an update to that original piece.

Regardless of the type of trauma endured, the PTSD Cup does not change, deviate or apply differently to your circumstance. The PTSD Cup is a basic representation of your capacity for tolerating stressors. As your cup fills, symptoms get worse. When your cup overflows, you may break down crying, become psychotic or manic, attempt to kill yourself, and many other possible outcomes.

The differences unique to each...

• anthony
• Comments: 102
• Topic: Articles

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