False Ptsd?

[Life_in_the_Mist]

Hi. I just joined. Perhaps I should have posted more of an introduction first...oh well. I have Bipolar Disorder, BAD panic, BAD anxiety, Depersonalization Disorder (hence my name) and the term PTSD or trauma has been thrown around. I can relate to so much of what I read on this forum (the living in terror part, basically).

Here's the thing though--my traumas, as terrifying as I personally find them, are not the classical "life was in danger" type traumas. There was growing up with a mentally ill parent, psychological abuse, and hell, some of the things I feel traumatized by didn't even happen to me personally. Is anyone else dealing with "soft" traumas that nonetheless create all the PTSD symptoms.....nightmares....dissociation...numbness...suicidality...isolation...panic?

 

[mamachick]

Welcome to the forum,

Growing up with a mentally ill parent and psychological abuse can cause trauma. Without looking it up to quote correctly, I believe by definition it is- real or imagined" threat to self or other. That being said, a diagnosis still must made by a qualified professional. There are a lot of diagnosis's that symptoms overlap or are similiar. Are you working with a therapist to get a correct diagnosis?

It is not unusual for it to take time to be properly diagnosed. If you are in treatment and sharing and working toward your goals, it is likely the therapist will see the entire picture but it does often take time for the correct diagnosis.

Over 20 yrs ealier, a therapist suggested that some of my symptoms were or could be ptsd. I have my medical records and was only diagnosed with atypical depression, but he suggested it. I never further explored it, and this was following childbirth. I got better with some treatment and life changes and it was dorment (not completely symptom free), but managed for about 20 years.

There are many good articles and information for your symptoms regardless of the cause. I hope you find helpful information, I know I have.

 

[Abstract]

Hi Life in the Mist. Welcome.

I don't know if you have looked at the new criterion A stuff for the DSM but it doesn't have to be life and death and it doesn't have to have happened to you. Witnessing something or even hearing about something having happened to a direct family member can qualify too.

For example seeing someone like ones mother being physically or sexually assaulted would fall under the criterion. And psychological abuse such as someone threatening to kill or seriously injure could also.

I am sorry you grew up with a mentally ill parent and psychological abuse. It erodes the very centre of us and causes so much grief long term.

I understand you are just exploring the possibility at present and that is helpful but it might be worth getting a proper evaluation. If you do have PTSD then all the other diagnoses you have may well fall away.

 

[JustBe]

Welcome to the forum!:)

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Welcome.

Psychological abuse is not "soft" trauma. None of my traumas were the life and death sort, but I still developed PTSD.

Please seek out a trauma therapist as they're much more in tune with trauma and its effects.

I wish you the best.

 

[.Bubbles.]

I'm a believer that ptsd can be caused by emotional abuse. By definition, any perceived threat can cause ptsd. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that means nobody has to say "I'm going to kill you" or wave knifes around etc. And as already mentioned, it can be caused by witnessing trauma indirectly. I agree that no kind of abuse is "soft"

Welcome to the forum :)

 

[Paz]

Hey and welcome. I totally relate. And I don't think the stuff you went through sounds "soft"...but I find it's far easier to say that to someone else than to be gentle with myself and say it to myself.

I'm totally in the same boat as far as thinking my trauma is "soft trauma," even though I know this is directly counterproductive for me healing. My "stuff," fwiw, is a traumatic medical situation as a teen (due in part to lack of access to medical care) and activism-related secondary exposure to trauma (also close-friendship-related...the 2 kinda go together). I doubt the second would have produced full-blown PTSD symptoms if I hadn't already been through the first, but I still beat myself up way too much about having trauma symptoms from *either*. Particularly the second, because traumatized by something I didn't go through myself as a privileged solidarity activist completely flies in the face of what I believe about that work. Hey, really inconvenient when our bodies don't go along with our politics, eh?!

There is a *lot* of research out there that seems to support the idea that people can have a trauma-related reaction to something we don't go through personally. It's in the DSM-5, which makes me feel less weak about the whole thing (and what finally gave me the courage to discuss it with a counselor, rather than just insisting that I'm 100% depressed/anxious). I think I have also seen that experiencing trauma directly -- abuse in your case, neglect/medical trauma in mine -- predisposes us to react strongly to secondary trauma. But maybe I'm reading too much into one line of your post!

...I totally still keep expecting someone to tell me "your thing isn't bad enough, go away." I hope we can both move past that and get lots of benefit from this forum, which seems like an awesome community.

 

[JustBe]

Therapy is helpful for me. My Therapist continues to challenge my perceptions of what truly is trauma and whether or not I deserve the help I'm getting and the time that I'm taking to heal.

A reality check is always a good thing.

 

[Life_in_the_Mist]

Thanks for your replies everyone. I have been told I have PTSD by a couple of therapists, so I guess I have been diagnosed. I have been seeing a therapist who is good with trauma and is helping me. Paz, I really really relate to your post--with the secondary PTSD stuff I feel like I don't "deserve" to suffer over "X" cause other people suffered much more--I know it's odd but that's how I feel. Certainly a problem when your brain disagrees with your politics!

 

[JustBe]

I think many of us feel that way too but that doesn't make it so.

 

[Abstract]

Totally agree with MovinOn. It seems many of us struggle with this and I am one of them too. I hate and judge myself extremely for being affected.

When reading others experiences I am constantly amazed at what people feel is nothing or "soft". I think if you have had multiple therapists diagnose you it is best to work on acceptance. I am a good one to talk! ;)