Family Absence, Feeling Alone.

[billie]

Today I am completely overwhelmed with the fact that I have no family union. I am going through a transfereance in therapy, where I feel utterly alone and isolated for the first time (even tho I have always been alone). I am close to my Dr, she said to me that she considers me family,she has a beautiful soul, but I am not sure that what she suggested is possible. I also have a close relationship with my T, where she contacts me daily via text messsge or an ocasional phone call. But regardless what my drs say or do for me they cannot simply personalize themselves to me even tho I know they do care as they both do so much for me (I also care for them too). People come and go throughout your life, but apparently family doesn't. Because I had no sense of one I am wondering if I should hang on to my attachment disorder so I dont feel pain. I know there are plenty of people here that are in the same boat, I guess I just wanted to vent to lower my SI at the moment and try to ground myself.

 

[Seasounds]

I'm with you on this. Usually, this same family stuff hits me between Thanksgiving and Christmas. And you are right, professionals can only help as professionals; the void remains.

As much work as I've done, honestly, I have less close friends than when I first started therapy-mostly because I realized they were not helping me.Thankfully, I have one.

Relationships, of all kinds, require so many skills, that most people do not realize. It still alludes me, why people don't seek me out as a friend. Kindness, compassion, and intelligence I have, charisma I lack. I have taken it as my job to work on myself, and to also find ways to not be hard on myself, while I endeavor to create friends and family.

The difference therapy has made is that I know I am a good person, and I know to avoid anyone who asks me to consider any thing that is to the contrary. I hope you have ways to cultivate enjoyment and friends. And may both of us create and have our heart's desire, of family, and of a sense of belonging, blossom in our lives. It is nice to know that someone else understands.

 

[Tinyflame]

I think much of the focus is on families. Most of us pay a penalty, emotionally, physically, financially, in terms of lack of security, for the future also, less resources, etc without it. I don't think people 'get' that, but then again I guess that's a good thing! The positive is embracing more freedom though. And families can be healthy, or not healthy.

I think it's made me more aware of others' needs but feeling more alien. I think it contributes to SI for me as well.