Relationship Fear Of Abandonment Vs. Poor Communication

[Never Give Up]

I worry about the same scenario. My wife who may have PTSD has asked me to remain quiet while we seek advice about our marriage with our pastor. It has been 3 weeks living in the same house and we have talked to each other. Once in a while there is a small note with some instructions....but no or little communication about other major things in life.
example: my son is in college. I had no idea that he moved dorm rooms and needed help. I found out weeks later from my daughter. I am intentionally left out of the loop with a person who refuses to communicate about the normal things in life. How can we help each other through what used to be a basic part of out lives. Communication used to be what kept us closer together.

 

[Chris516]

When my friend told me recently "YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME!!!", I just responded with "Educate me". I know quite a lot about her. But she has never told me what specifically is the cause of her PTSD. I have not asked her, because, I feel it is her business and she will tell me, if she wants to.

 

[Al_Lurker]

Chris, that path led me to disaster. I don't know how deep you are into the relationship but you'll need to step carefully. You can't ignore it and you can't push it either. If she's not in therapy I'd suggest you try to nudge her in that direction, possibly by going yourself?

 

[Chris516]

Al, I only know her online, even though we have known each other since 2003. She is in counseling for her PTSD.

 

[Barconian]

Chris, that path led me to disaster.

Al might have something ,Chris!

 

[Chris516]

Barconian, I have been in therapy, for other reasons not connected to her, since 2003.

 

[Barconian]

Chris, I already new you had problems, other wise you wouldn't be here. The thing I was pushing is your kindness not your obsessions... If you truly like this girl, then fix yourself!!!

 

[Chris516]

Barconian, Yes, I know.

 

[Left Behind Spouse]

My marriage ended 3 months ago for this reason. My husband was miserable and lonely in our marriage because he didn't feel loved, and didn't ever communicate it to me. He still blames me because he hasn't started therapy yet. He claims I neglected him... but really I was mothering two babies 18 mths apart. He even panicked if I was going out to rake the leaves. he finally fell apart and left...
I don't blame myself because I had no idea it was PTSD until I discovered this forum.

 

[Chris516]

An update, of sorts. Apart from my saying "Hello" occasionally with no response, I have not spoken to the woman since April. But also, she still hasn't blocked me on Yahoo Messenger.