General Fed Up With VA; My Letter To Patient Admin Doctor

[xxarmywifexx]

Hey guys

So after another incident today...I'm done being quite. Here is the letter I'm sending to the Patient Administration Director of the V.A. Please feel free to comment or add. I'm just sooo very PO'd! :mad:

"Dear Patient Administration Director,
My husband is an OIF-OEF Disabled Veteran. On September 17, 2008 he went to the emergency room located on 1481 W. 10th Street. I was working so I was unable to be with him and my children he brought with him. While he was there, he informs me that he received the worst care for his wound he got from a razor blade. They didn’t clean his cut they just put gauze on it and told him to go get an x-ray. He told them that he had PTSD and felt he couldn’t make it upstairs to get something he felt he didn’t need. They were UNRESPONSIVE. He tells me they were having a personal conversation about boot-camp, while a fellow patient and his wife were not receiving any care and being told to wait. After leaving the emergency room, he was so rattled he smoked his first cigarette in five years.
This is not the first time that he received poor care and follow through from this medical center. Enclosed is a letter he received from the OIF-OEF clinic for one of his appointments. They offered childcare for my children because they knew I would be working and when he showed up for the appointment no one was there for him. After 30 minutes of waiting, he left. He then called me at work to tell me that yet again, he had done something for nothing.
I’m writing this as a call for help. I’m a working mother with a husband that has PTSD. It saddens me that the country my husband served to protect can’t even provide the care that he needs to get back on his feet. Before he didn’t even want to get help because he was so depressed and now that we have come to a point within our family and within him…we can’t even reach out to anyone for help.

Recently we went to a Blue team appointment and saw Doc. xxxxxxx(his primary care-provider then, we recently got it changed) after a half of day of getting pushed around because my husband not wanting to get his blood taken (that should have been in his file, he has specified his fear of needles and seeing blood) they pushed us back in the day. After my husband explained his problem of not being able to sleep and his pain. The doctor looked at his file and told him if he dealt with his PTSD then ALL his pain will go away. If he looked at his file correctly or at all he would have seen that he has nerve damage from a surgery he received in the Army for an appendectomy. He also has a knee pain, back pain and feet pain from being Airborne for his whole Army Career. He also had Heat-casualty, was frost-bitten and had sun poisoning on his scalp. I don’t think that was good advice for his primary care provider to tell him. He left that day feeling down and I felt like my day had gone to shit because I took off work for some asshole to tell my husband to deal with his PTSD and his all pain will go away. Bullshit. We went to patient administration for our first complaint.
I’m not going to say that we didn’t receive any follow through after our first complaint, because we did. Lisa contacted us several times, sent us a letter with tickets to see an Indians game and some for the State Fair. A week later I received a call on my work phone (that was supposed to be for emergencies only) from her to make sure she had the right number for my husband’s cell. I gave it to her and she never called my husband.




These are things that I would like to see done:

1. Have my husbands his file marked that he has PTSD, also include that blood draws are NOT an option for him: as it is a trigger. Having his file marked allows providers to have special care with him as he is easily angered if people don’t listen to him. He hates being told that he “has” to do something because as you know in the Army you have no choice and you CAN NOT refuse treatment. Please do not make him do something he does not want to do. He will not be in a space to deal with anyone.
2. Also, please notate I have adjusted my works schedule to work second shift on Wednesday and Thursday of each week to allow for appointments. Each appointment scheduled needs to be scheduled for the mornings (8am-11:30am) so we will be able to make it as a couple. This allows him to be calm and collected on each visit and with great hope, also productive.
3. I also would like an apology for the ER Staff for my husband. This is not the first time he has received poor care from the ER at that Hospital. I need for him to feel good about going to the ER when he is hurt. Not dread going because he can’t count on anyone and its going to be a wasted trip. It’s a drain on gas and elevates his level of stress. Not that he doesn’t have enough already.
4. He needs pain medicine for his back pain and his nerve damage, not just muscle relaxers. He also needs something to help him sleep. We have been talking about the things that he needs in order to begin the healing process and undergoing therapy and this is the missing link. He is so bogged down by pain that it makes his nightmares and daily symptoms worse. Nothing they have given him works partly because they don’t listen to him; they just give him something and rush him out the door.

Please understand that it’s taken me out of my comfort zone to write this. I’m not a person that demands a whole lot. I guess after being told so many times as an Army wife that I can’t do anything and my words mean nothing in the aide to my husbands’ care that I just shut up all together. Now a civilian, I’m reclaiming my rights as a wife, an American citizen and as a mother. I just can’t stand by after those four miserable years and watch my husband and my family receives bad treatment again. I feel this time I can make a change and that is why I’m reaching out again in efforts to be a link to my husbands’ recovery."

Sound good? :thumbs-up

 

[moog]

Sounds great. I'm so sorry that you, your husband and your family have to go through that. That is such a horrible way to treat a patient.

I hope that you get the response you deserve and things are corrected beyond what you requested. It sounds like it is long over due.

 

[Deleted member 541]

armywife,


I am not trying to stir the pot here...

While I understand your concerns regarding your husband there are a few things I would like to point out.

1) I do understand that your husband has PTSD, but at some point he has to be assertive and take care of his own medical care, be responsible for his own health care.

2) The VA are not all that great with their care, I agree with you, but they also have to deal with hundreds of patients everyday.

3) Telling a Dr to NOT draw blood because it's a trigger.......First off drawing blood is one of the major ways to tell the condition of a person. It's one of the biggest tools that Dr's use to see how well or sick someone is.

4) It's NEVER a good thing to avoid a trigger. Your husband needs to stop avoiding his triggers, and start working on facing them.

I know that you are trying very hard to work and be a care taker for your husband, and it probably is a very hard job to do. But there are things that your husband needs to do for himself.

I do hope that I haven't offended you, as that's not my intention....

 

[Nicolette]

Armywife, while what Wendy says is harsh...I have to agree with her points.

I think the disgraceful emergency hospital attention deserves your effort but points 3 and 4 which were made are very valid.

However, I do understand you being cheesed off and frustrated with the system. It sometimes get to a point where you can only do your best within the limitations of the system. By that I'm saying definitely put your hand up but VA is VA.

While your husband is a consenting adult he is expected to put his hand up and be accountable for his care. I understand that unless you have a power of attorney the hospital will pay little attention to your requests.

Sorry....I prefer being honest than making you feel good. :Hug_emoticon:

 

[xxarmywifexx]

She Cat and Nicolette,

My intentions of posting this was to get honest advice...same as any other post. When I wrote this I was pretty upset. I did attach a POA so they don't even question my words. I have revised it as well and suggested to my husband that he also write a letter about what he is willing to do for himself. Points 3 and 4 become my main point and I expanded on them. Thank you for you suggestions I am sending it out today with great hope of action.

This is my last attempt with the V.A, we can't afford out of pocket insurance but we might have to start looking. My husband needs the best care. I agree that he needs to start doing for himself but even before all this he wasn't one to stand up for himself. Maybe he will follow by expample this time.

Thanks and much love. :Hug_emoticon:

-xxarmywifexx

 

[void]

:smile:xxarmywifexx,

I hope you get a positive response and that your DH gets top notch care. He's lucky to have you!

:Hug_emoticon: from void

 

[2quilt]

You can request an apology, but you will never get one; insted ask that the staff who did not clean his wound get retrained.
The pateint advocate at the hospital used to know my voice on the phone before I said my name. I just stopped going there and I use insurance now in the civilian healthcare system because the VA was so bad, and triggered me every time I went there. I hope you have that option.

 

[FlameTachiku]

Hi,

I agree more with the letter than the advise of She Cat or Nicolette. I think that he should not be pushed to get a blood drawl until there is enough time given to him to start the proccess of building trust. I work in a place were PTSD symptoms were treated with distain, anger, and words like he is a bad person he has aways been a bad person. Well with that treatment he did not improve and he made staff life hell in a passive aggressive way.

He has changed because he was listen to. Simple changes were made to support his function. He is now a member of the community who is known and appreciated for what he can do. So he has a few quirks. Staff was trained to see things differently. He is not bad, he simply is who he is. A little leaway in dealing with HIS problems is not a crime. Supporting what he can do and letting some things slide for a period, may change the story.

There is time for him to become stronger. If he can on his own, excellent. If he can't do not withhold support. People with PTSD are used to pain and people who judge and expect more than possible.

I add my perspective to give you more angles to consider. I very much respect your willingness to take on a the system to support your family. What you are doing is what matters and that is caring for your family the best way you know how.

Best to you and yours,
Flame

 

[Nicolette]

I agree more with the letter than the advise of She Cat or Nicolette. I think that he should not be pushed to get a blood drawl until there is enough time given to him to start the process of building trust. I work in a place were PTSD symptoms were treated with distain, anger, and words like he is a bad person he has aways been a bad person. Well with that treatment he did not improve and he made staff life hell in a passive aggressive way.

From this comment I think my point was missed. I am by no means saying that he should be mistreated or told he is a bad person. I am however saying that if a blood sample is required for medical purposes I believe it to be an important enough reason for Armywife's husband to try and overcome his fear and have it done. An attitude adjustment may be required by the medical staff concerned in how they approach this....eg knowing up front that he has PTSD and therefore treating him more compassionately. Having PTSD should be put in his file as Armywife is wanting.

The only way to overcome a fear is have a different experience. If AW's husband just avoids any future blood tests he will be preventing himself from having a better experience which could dispel some of his fears and thus him becoming less triggered by the event.

I am also not saying that AW's husband does not deserve support...I believe quite the contrary to be honest. However sometimes you can't beat systems such as VA, and with that, energy may be better focused somewhere else is my point.

First hand experience has taught me that those 'government institutions' are not geared to dealing with individuals but are more so a process that is arduous and painful. Unfortunately they also don't give a lot of credence to what a partner might say. I think AW's husband needs AW to help him stand up for his rights and fair treatment than just doing it for him...that was probably what I was trying to say before. There will be more value gained in AW's husband finding alternate ways to deal with things so to inadvertently face his trauma.....which is essential with PTSD. Avoidance will not do anyone any favours sorry!

 

[Deleted member 541]

Flame,

I do understand what you are saying as far as building trust. There are things that AW's husband can do in the meantime to allow himself to have the test. The longer he avoids, the easier it becomes to never have it done. Excuses start building and then it just becomes a flat out no!!!!

Drawing blood may not be a fun thing to have done, I agree, but he can distract himself with other things when having it done. His wife can be there to talk him threw it, he can look away, read a book, whatever. The point is...Blood draws are one of the most used tools a Dr has...What if he has a condition right now that he is unaware of????? A blood test *could* be very useful.

I have lived alone for more yrs than I can count... I don't like GYN appointments due to my trauma.....But I wonder where I would be if I had avoided......I had Cervical Cancer in my late 20's......I can guarentee I wouldn't be here typing you this post!!!!!!!

 

[Marlene]

I've been in the military and I've been an Army wife. The medical institution with the military and the VA are set up the same. As Nicolette said, they're not geared towards individuals and making everyone happy. You'll never beat the system and never make them treat you like a doctor set up in private practice will. Big difference is that the doctor in private practice is trying to make a living with his/her medical practice and can't afford to piss off patient...VA isn't. The best that can be done is to learn to work within the system, know your rights and responsibilities (your husband's) and the chain of command.

Also (and I know this from personal knowledge) a spouse has got crap-all for rights in these establishments. It's the military person/veteran who has the rights and responsibilities since it's his/her care. Spouses and families are pretty much just a tolerated part of the whole deal. Right, wrong or indifferent...that's the way it is.

My suggestion to you would be to have your husband write the letter (or you do and put it in his name) and send it to everyone in the chain of command from the top person on down. Maybe things will change. Maybe they won't. But if you have issues with anything/one there I would suggest that you document, document, document. Dates, times, people involved. That's the only way that any action will be taken is with specifics. General complaints will be viewed as unsubstantiated and ignored.

But I do agree with Wendy and Nicolette, AW, that your husband's trigger of blood-drawing and refusal to allow it is not for his best. We all need to face and learn to defuse our triggers as much as possible. Also, if he's not going to allow this to happen, the people there are just going to move on to the next person and your husband goes to the bottom of the list. Maybe going to a private lab that can give your husband the time and space he needs to be able to do with and then have the results sent to the VA doctors would be an option.

Lisa

 

[FlameTachiku]

Hi,
I think many of us have years of close experience with the VA. For me I was most successful finding the back door. The front people often say no, reject, or just frankly don't have a clue and express that knowing in a rude confident way. If something does not work don't repeat it, go in at a different angle.

I am not saying a blood drawl is not extremly improtant. I am suggesting that listening to him, hearing him, and building a bit of trust would be a more successful approach toward him. Then get the blood test. Approach trust modify behavior and get the important blood drawl.

For example, I have a strange reaction to the MMR shot. The military doctors state that they only combine vaccines and you have to do it, period. They scream they yell insist threaten. Reguardless of the hoopla in your face, they do have vaccines that are individually packaged. You can get them individually. It is not jumping the hoops it is finding a more successful way to get what you need.

My motto is never except no from the military. I won't waste much effort argueing or confronting. There just is a different way. Find it the results are generally good (wife, daughter or member).

The approach is not avoidance it is a different type of exposure. I have PTSD and see things through that lens. I like to say I am not broken I am differently abled (on a good day). My approach is patient first, system second.

There are many different ways to be successful. We can hear all voices and take pieces of what works. Different visions are interesting and I think helpful.

Flame