General Fed Up With VA; My Letter To Patient Admin Doctor

[moog]

FlameTachiku, I totally agree with your side of this.

Having the view that the system won't change or that there is nothing you can do to make things better; is just as bad, if not worse than any avoidance of triggers. As well, if he tries to work through his triggers while he is not at a stage in his recovery that is stable enough to handle approaching his triggers; it will only make things worse by exasperating current symptoms and possibly creating new ones. You won't know if things will change if you don't ask, the best way to get changes like that from the military or VA is to go above them and ask your questions to the government officials that make policy for those departments. It doesn't matter what part of the government, you have a say in how things are run; it's called democracy.

 

[Deleted member 541]

moog,

You only get stable when you get your symptoms under control. You get your symptoms under control by facing your triggers, issues, and fears!!!!!!!

The military doesn't change. It their way period........

 

[FlameTachiku]

Sorry xxarmywifexx, it is a complicated subject, military life, and it is your life. Not an easy road. Stay strong I wish you the best on your journey.

 

[catjudo]

My suggestion to you would be to have your husband write the letter (or you do and put it in his name) and send it to everyone in the chain of command from the top person on down. Maybe things will change. Maybe they won't. But if you have issues with anything/one there I would suggest that you document, document, document. Dates, times, people involved. That's the only way that any action will be taken is with specifics. General complaints will be viewed as unsubstantiated and ignored.

I think this is the best advice. We can debate whether or not it is possible to get the VA to change its ways but regardless of one's opinion on this issue I think we can (probably?) agree that there is something empowering about standing up for yourself, asking for what you need and letting the VA know that the treatment AW's husband is receiving is not okay. As Marlene said, maybe they'll change, maybe they won't. Whether you're dealing with a government entity such as the VA or someone in the private sector in order to give yourself the best chance at success in getting what you're asking for document specifics, make sure your complaint reaches anyone in the chain of command (makes it slightly more difficult to ignore the complaint if more people know about it) and include as much detail as possible. Details make it more difficult to ignore.

Just my 2 cents worth, but I really think whether or not you get the desired result there is value in voicing your complaint. The best chance of getting your desired result is to document every detail and include specifics in your complaint.

 

[xxarmywifexx]

Wow, so much imput and so much juice in this thread. I sparked something. It's empowering! Although, I did change some of my wording on the letter, I still have my expectations listed well.

My husband has had his blood drawn at this hospital before, and it was not a good expirence. Blood squirting to put it lightly. It's not the needle that he has the problem with...heck my boy likes the pain of a good tat. It's the blood and being touched by someone strange that is the trigger. So he has tryied. I'm encouraging him to get past this and with time I hope he does. We are working tword him going he just needs care and the proper meds to get him on the road to therapy and I made that clear in the letter itself. He also wrote something himself about how he feels.

I'm not gripping for the fun of it...he wants to get better and that is what I want them to take away from this whole thing. I talked with a few people and got them to give him a referral for a civilian pain specialist. He also has an appt. with an OIF-OEF T and a Doc. for depression meds. as well as sleeping meds. For myself I guess they have a support group for OIF-OEF spouses...which I'm not to thrilled about. :rolleyes: I'm a shy one. I don't like big groups. Oh well, we will see how it goes.

Guys and Gals, I'm so thrilled that I found these boards. You guys are the root to my support. I don't have to tell my husband all this stuff and it helps me be his rock on a daily basis...so thanks. A hug to everyone of you. :Hug_emoticon:

-xxarmywifexx

 

[moog]

moog,

You only get stable when you get your symptoms under control. You get your symptoms under control by facing your triggers, issues, and fears!!!!!!!

The military doesn't change. It their way period........

Try being a little more understanding, instead of jumping on someone and telling them they are wrong. I'm a soldier, seen war, have PTSD, going through treatments in a military system, I have a wife that is in the world of Psychology and this just so happens to be a topic she knows a lot about. :wink: Things are changing in the world of psychology, psychiatry, especially with PTSD and the majority of the work is being done by the military communities around the world.

There is a major difference in how military life, training and experiences affects our symptoms. I understand that we have to work through our triggers, issues, fears, etc to get our symptoms under control BUT when our symptoms are already to the extreme; trying to work through them is not going to help. We need some sort of medium to control those symptoms; ie. medication. When dealing with someone that is trained to deal with extreme situations with anger and violence, putting them in a situation that make them feel threatened; is a very dangerous and stupid idea. This is a VA hospital, they should understand all of this and deal with their patients with a lot more compassion than they do. As soon as he was diagnosed, he should have seen a psychiatrist and been prescribed medication. Then sent to therapy to learn how to work through every thing. Not just thrown into it, that's just asking for him to explode and hurt someone.


xxarmywifexx,

I think once he has his medication sorted out and his body adjusts to it, then he will be able to start working through every thing. Going to see a therapist (Psychologist) regularly, if he isn't already, would probably help a lot as well; give him the tools to both cope and face his triggers.

As for you going to the support group, I hope it works out well for you; they can be very helpful. My wife goes to them here, she finds them informative, a good release talking to people in similar situations but there are some that are just there to complain and not seek help. Just keep a positive outlook. :smile:

 

[Deleted member 541]

Moog,


I never implied that anyone was wrong....I also never said anything about meds or therapy not being a way to go either. You also seem to think that I have no understanding of PTSD or how people feel...I also dated someone that was a vet, and know how the VA works, or more importantly doesn't work........ You seem to put words into my post that I never said.

I simply made a statement.

I would like to clarify a few things. I have had PTSD for most of my life. I have been in and out of therapy for most of my life also. I have taken meds off and on also. I do understand feelings, and how awful PTSD is and the symptoms that we deal with on a daiy basis.

 

[simplyme]

I FEEL YOUR FRUSTRATIONS!!!!
My husband was trying to get the disability ball rolling with the VA (OEF-OIF vet) and it was taking forever!
Then he went to the emergancey room for a bad migrane. He has a TBI from his last tour, IED gave him a sonic concusion, ever since then he has had blured vision at sporadic times, migranes and studdering speach.
Now while there he had to wait forever. a WWII vet was in a wheel chair screaming for help in the waiting room. while the staff ignored him. And then they told my husband when they saw him that he could have brain swelling and sent him home with ibprophin... I was pissed.
The ER at the VA is total crap everywhere but tell yourhusband that he has a primary care doc and there should be a program at the VA for OIF and OEF vets. They are the ones that really do care!
Next time your there with him at the VA watch the wives! They will scream at the staff to get shit done. We are soft when we need to be. but hard when we got to be. so send that freakn letter.