It is lonely, no doubt about it. I tried the support group scene multiple times, but the folks who wear and use artificial fragrances of various kinds make that a very unhealthy space for me, so that's a no go. It's offered by the local sexual/domestic abuse shelter where free counseling is also an option, but they also use lots of artificial fragrances within the building, so my seeking them out for help of any kind has lessened greatly as of late. If I could find one that only meets outdoors, I could probably hang with that.
A couple of my healer friends are good listeners and confidants, and several are also survivors of many different traumas, but they're so busy with their practices and their own self-care/families/traveling/etc. that it's few and far between when we get to actually hang out to just talk. We do spend time together helping each other out and that affords me a little discussion time here and there.
Family sort of gets it, but not really, and most of them are struggling in the pits of their own hellish circumstances, so finding support there is a dream I'll never achieve, it seems....and the hubby is weighed down with plenty of other stressors, so I try not to unload too much on him.
Once in a while I'll cross paths with a stranger who just "clicks" with my energies and we can have the best talks about things that most likely aren't specifically trauma related, but the experiences totally enrich my life and restores my faith in humanity.
I've tried some other groups, too, that are geared around specific interests, but most of them meet in spaces that are heavily food and beverage related, and always the stuff I no longer ingest for the health and ethics of it, so there again, it's not a healthy environment for my particular biology, nor my head space.
LMAO.....I kind of doubt if I'll ever find a scent-free, whole food plant-based vegan, alcohol, and caffeine free space to gather and share stories and support...especially in this neck of the woods...but stranger things have happened, I suppose, and I'm forever the optimist...most days.
Meanwhile, I talk to myself and a whole lot of trees, plants, and wild animals within my days. They're great listeners, don't talk back, and by expressing it all verbally sometimes, regardless of to whom or what, it gives me a chance to clear my heart space enough to get a little clarity. It feels pretty weird as I used to be quite the social butterfly.
